Blog Hopping has its Benefits
So I was blog hopping today, and I didn't get very far when I found the most hilarious thing. It's a "translator" of sorts. It translates your text into Jive, Valley Girl, Pig Latin or "Swedish Chef". I had some fun with my writing and the translations.
I know de day gots'ta come
Dat ah' gots'ta see him wid anoda' one
And ah' gots'ta wonda' if she be likes me.
What it is, Mama! Will dey do de wahtahmelluns dat we dun did?
Will dey kiss de way dat we kissed?
What dun did ah' do wrong t'lose him?
Maybe she gots'ta be mo'e decisive dan I
Maybe she gots'ta easily part ha' dighs
Allow him t'love ha' wid no hesitashun
I hope dat she gots'ta be
All he wants's and needs
But dat he gots'ta still consida' me special.
(my favorite is the "what it is mama?")
(T, think of that French accent with this one lol)
Efee zee sters vere-a sheening
egeeenst thet bleck felfet ooff zee sky
joost es hees lufely iyes elsu shune-a veet oonly her refflecshun in zeem
tu let her knoo
thet she-a ves reelly zeere-
a letteeng her meend dreefft beck tu thet neeght
vey tuu cluse-a tu Peredeese-a
Ohh, fun fun fun.
There is another poem idea I've been having in my head lately. If I don't write it down, I might forget it, but if I do then I might not get in the mood to write the poem. hmmmm. Let me just say that it's about how my name is long and usually doesn't fit on the line. lol suspense? I hope so. . .
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Today I'm in a quite melancholy mood. It all started in photo class where i firstly got a bad grade on an assignment (40/50) then also a bad grade on the quiz (14/20). To top it off, I had left my other roll of film I needed to develop at home and the one I did develop had very few good shots and my negatives got messed up anyway.
Then. . .
My interpersonal communications class kept talking about me. The teacher was making us talk about feelings in different scenarios. Scenario one: You see your ex with another 'lover', how do you feel?
Awwww Daaaannngg!! I was just having a conversation about this with somebody. Is this a forewarning to prepare myself for the heartbreak? I know that one of these days, maybe soon, I'm gonna see him with someone else, and I seriously don't know how I'm supposed to handle that. It's odd, because I never considered myself as loving him, so why am I feeling so much for him now? Why do I miss him? Why am i concerned about his well-being? Why do I not want to see him with another woman?
I know the day will come
That I will see him with another one
And I will wonder if she is like me.
Will they do the things that we did?
Will they kiss the way that we kissed?
What did I do wrong to lose him?
Maybe she will be more decisive than I
Maybe she will easily part her thighs
Allow him to love her with no hesitation
I hope that she will be
All he wants and needs
But that he will still consider me special.
Then. . .
My interpersonal communications class kept talking about me. The teacher was making us talk about feelings in different scenarios. Scenario one: You see your ex with another 'lover', how do you feel?
Awwww Daaaannngg!! I was just having a conversation about this with somebody. Is this a forewarning to prepare myself for the heartbreak? I know that one of these days, maybe soon, I'm gonna see him with someone else, and I seriously don't know how I'm supposed to handle that. It's odd, because I never considered myself as loving him, so why am I feeling so much for him now? Why do I miss him? Why am i concerned about his well-being? Why do I not want to see him with another woman?
I know the day will come
That I will see him with another one
And I will wonder if she is like me.
Will they do the things that we did?
Will they kiss the way that we kissed?
What did I do wrong to lose him?
Maybe she will be more decisive than I
Maybe she will easily part her thighs
Allow him to love her with no hesitation
I hope that she will be
All he wants and needs
But that he will still consider me special.
Monday, March 21, 2005
A Poem for Tura
she is captivated
with everything her mind associated
with him
so frustrated
by not knowing which way to go and what to do with
the thoughts and feelings for him
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
she and her Prince oh so charming
kissing under the moonlight
Even the stars were shining
against that black velvet of the sky
just as his lovely eyes also shone
with only her reflection in them to let her know
that she was really there
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
struggling to fight
that feeling that she felt when he kissed her oh so right
"Come to Paradise with me" said he
but she just couldn't fathom and believe
that this could really be
That her Prince, oh so charming
on this perfect night so close to Paradise
was offering the first kiss of her life
and taking her breath away
she couldn't fathom and believe that it could be.
And though it was, she didn't want to see.
So she never went to Paradise,
decided to stay on the safe side of life
and not walk on that ledge leading to a place a little too perfect
and now,
she is captivated
with everything her mind associated
with him
so frustrated
by not knowing which way to go and what to do with
the thoughts and feelings for him
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
she is captivated
with everything her mind associated
with him
so frustrated
by not knowing which way to go and what to do with
the thoughts and feelings for him
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
she and her Prince oh so charming
kissing under the moonlight
Even the stars were shining
against that black velvet of the sky
just as his lovely eyes also shone
with only her reflection in them to let her know
that she was really there
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
struggling to fight
that feeling that she felt when he kissed her oh so right
"Come to Paradise with me" said he
but she just couldn't fathom and believe
that this could really be
That her Prince, oh so charming
on this perfect night so close to Paradise
was offering the first kiss of her life
and taking her breath away
she couldn't fathom and believe that it could be.
And though it was, she didn't want to see.
So she never went to Paradise,
decided to stay on the safe side of life
and not walk on that ledge leading to a place a little too perfect
and now,
she is captivated
with everything her mind associated
with him
so frustrated
by not knowing which way to go and what to do with
the thoughts and feelings for him
letting her mind drift back to that night
way too close to Paradise
Friday, March 11, 2005
Open This Mic
Last night Sonia and I went to an open mic event at ISU. It was quite interesting. I can't really say that I liked it all that much, because it was quite unorganized and a lot of the time seemed like they didn't know what the heck to do, so people were just chillin on the stage, making jokes and unusual comments. However, a couple of good things did come from it.
(this song is a bit paraphrased)
1: "When I first saw you, you was looking too cute and I turned to my boy and said. then he said, 'naw dawg, I heard she got the sauce and something, something something."
anyway the chorus was something like
"I only like mild sauce on my fries, you got that venom in your thighs"
The song was so funny, and reminded me of at least one person I know. They had lyrics in there talkin bout "I saw you coming out the clinic with a bag of perscriptions" and "You need to cool your loving down." There are definately people who needed to hear that song.
2. This one was a blessing in disguise. One guy got on stage, I don't know if he was supposed to be a comedy act or what, but I didn't laugh one time, and NOBODY clapped when he got off stage. All he did was show his ignorance. He began to talk about the issue with Matt Hale and how the judge's family died, and how he didn't care. He even said he wished that more of them (meaning non-blacks) would die. He ignorantly ranted about how no autopsies and investigations were done when Martin Luther King Jr. died (which is not true) and how those who died in this incident got what they deserved.
I was ticked OFF. So, I went home and wrote a poem :D
Rebuttal to a Fool's Words
"I wish more of them would die"
the first of fool's words
to cause me to turn my head and ask "why?"
The words, too soon spoken
and not well chosen
to bring harm to another's life
just because it's not a brother's life?
And the brother's life and death you do defend
your rationale I cannot comprehend
because Martin Luther King's will was not that to kill
but to step back and be real
And see each other's colors
let go of what history did to our brothers
let go of massa raping our grandmothers
let go of hostilities held toward one another for things gone by
Let go of that rope and fly, brotha, fly!
fly into that dream of Martin Luther King's
fly into that day when race would not be all things
because we all come from lines of kings and queens
Adam and Eve grandfather and mother of ALL human beings
don't revert to old ways of thinking
For we have come this far by faith
yes, the mountaintop is surely in our view,
but how, brother how, will we reach it
when more than a few think like you?
We must let go to fly
and to fly, yes we must try
and we'll try and we'll try
and we just might get it right
Then we
can live that dream of Martin Luther King's
free at last of color-bound hostilities
And brotha, it starts right here with you and me.
BOO YOW!
Last night Sonia and I went to an open mic event at ISU. It was quite interesting. I can't really say that I liked it all that much, because it was quite unorganized and a lot of the time seemed like they didn't know what the heck to do, so people were just chillin on the stage, making jokes and unusual comments. However, a couple of good things did come from it.
(this song is a bit paraphrased)
1: "When I first saw you, you was looking too cute and I turned to my boy and said. then he said, 'naw dawg, I heard she got the sauce and something, something something."
anyway the chorus was something like
"I only like mild sauce on my fries, you got that venom in your thighs"
The song was so funny, and reminded me of at least one person I know. They had lyrics in there talkin bout "I saw you coming out the clinic with a bag of perscriptions" and "You need to cool your loving down." There are definately people who needed to hear that song.
2. This one was a blessing in disguise. One guy got on stage, I don't know if he was supposed to be a comedy act or what, but I didn't laugh one time, and NOBODY clapped when he got off stage. All he did was show his ignorance. He began to talk about the issue with Matt Hale and how the judge's family died, and how he didn't care. He even said he wished that more of them (meaning non-blacks) would die. He ignorantly ranted about how no autopsies and investigations were done when Martin Luther King Jr. died (which is not true) and how those who died in this incident got what they deserved.
I was ticked OFF. So, I went home and wrote a poem :D
Rebuttal to a Fool's Words
"I wish more of them would die"
the first of fool's words
to cause me to turn my head and ask "why?"
The words, too soon spoken
and not well chosen
to bring harm to another's life
just because it's not a brother's life?
And the brother's life and death you do defend
your rationale I cannot comprehend
because Martin Luther King's will was not that to kill
but to step back and be real
And see each other's colors
let go of what history did to our brothers
let go of massa raping our grandmothers
let go of hostilities held toward one another for things gone by
Let go of that rope and fly, brotha, fly!
fly into that dream of Martin Luther King's
fly into that day when race would not be all things
because we all come from lines of kings and queens
Adam and Eve grandfather and mother of ALL human beings
don't revert to old ways of thinking
For we have come this far by faith
yes, the mountaintop is surely in our view,
but how, brother how, will we reach it
when more than a few think like you?
We must let go to fly
and to fly, yes we must try
and we'll try and we'll try
and we just might get it right
Then we
can live that dream of Martin Luther King's
free at last of color-bound hostilities
And brotha, it starts right here with you and me.
BOO YOW!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Have you seen him?
It's been ten months
Didn't wanna give him the time of day
Then he made his way into my world
And changed it-in a special way
Now, here I am changed
A new creature indeed
Enlightened to the ways of the world
But he is nowhere to be seen
Now I see all of his friends
They seem to know my face
We laugh, and make conversation
But it still doesnt ease my pain
I know I can't erase the memories
Though I do admit I've tried
I think things can work themselves out
But is my thought a lie?
Oh, I see his car everywhere I go
On the street, and even at the picture show
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
Oh, I see his face when I close my eyes
In the day, and even in the night
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
WHYYY OHH WHYYY
Did he make me make such a mistake??
Ohhh ohh ohh, I'm confused
And I don't know what to do
And I'm lost, baby I'm lost
Oh, tell me will I see his face again?
Cuz right now, I just wanna be his friend.
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
Have you seen him? (you better tell me if you see him)
Tell me have you seen him? (and tell him I'm thinkin' bout him too)
Have you seen him? (. . I just wanna see him)
Tell me have you seen him?
It's been ten months
Didn't wanna give him the time of day
Then he made his way into my world
And changed it-in a special way
Now, here I am changed
A new creature indeed
Enlightened to the ways of the world
But he is nowhere to be seen
Now I see all of his friends
They seem to know my face
We laugh, and make conversation
But it still doesnt ease my pain
I know I can't erase the memories
Though I do admit I've tried
I think things can work themselves out
But is my thought a lie?
Oh, I see his car everywhere I go
On the street, and even at the picture show
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
Oh, I see his face when I close my eyes
In the day, and even in the night
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
WHYYY OHH WHYYY
Did he make me make such a mistake??
Ohhh ohh ohh, I'm confused
And I don't know what to do
And I'm lost, baby I'm lost
Oh, tell me will I see his face again?
Cuz right now, I just wanna be his friend.
Have you seen him?
Tell me have you seen him?
Have you seen him? (you better tell me if you see him)
Tell me have you seen him? (and tell him I'm thinkin' bout him too)
Have you seen him? (. . I just wanna see him)
Tell me have you seen him?
I'm not sure how you did this, but I'm kinda mad and glad that you did. I think about you often, I'm not afraid to admit, and my heart beats sorely when I do. Who ever knew? Who ever knew that you would come into my life and turn it upside down before I even realized what was going on? Who ever knew that I would fall asleep and wake up so many times with you on my mind. Just thinking of how you're doing, wondering if all is well, wondering if you might be thinking about me too. Its kinda funny when I think back on the earlier days, I didnt wanna give you the time of day. Now you take way more than your share of my thoughts, but that's alright with me. When will I see you again? Will we get to talk again? How are you anyway? Do you miss me? I miss you.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Who woulda thunk it?
My mother and I were having a conversation last night, about nothing in general, then she dropped the bomb on me.
Do you know where your uncle works?
Um, wasn't he working doing construction or something?
Not anymore lol.
What, is he a stripper now or something?
No, but you're close.
By this time I'm getting a little worried. Uncle man is my FAVORITE uncle, we go wayy back.
What does he do???
He works in a factory. A porn factory.
WHAT?
My uncle works in a porn factory? What kinda stuff is that?? I didn't even know they HAD porn factories. I guess my mother found out when they were talking one day and he was mentioning that they'd have to do inventory. She asked how often inventory is done, and he said whenever the bosses think someone took something or stole some toys. My mother was like "Toys?? Where do you work?" And that's when the truth was revealed. Man, my family is weird.
My mother also told me about Uncle Man's crazy girlfriend coming to my grandmother's (his mother) house at 1 or 2 a.m.
Miss Wynn, Miss Wynn! Kenneth said he's gonna kill himself!!
So? If he's gonna kill himself he's gonna kill himself. What am I gonna do?!
But miss Wynn. . .
Don't ever wake me up again for no mess like that!
This woman did not even care. Turns out my uncle just wanted the woman to leave, but she wouldn't so he said something about turning on the gas or something. . .
Just crazy.
My mother and I were having a conversation last night, about nothing in general, then she dropped the bomb on me.
Do you know where your uncle works?
Um, wasn't he working doing construction or something?
Not anymore lol.
What, is he a stripper now or something?
No, but you're close.
By this time I'm getting a little worried. Uncle man is my FAVORITE uncle, we go wayy back.
What does he do???
He works in a factory. A porn factory.
WHAT?
My uncle works in a porn factory? What kinda stuff is that?? I didn't even know they HAD porn factories. I guess my mother found out when they were talking one day and he was mentioning that they'd have to do inventory. She asked how often inventory is done, and he said whenever the bosses think someone took something or stole some toys. My mother was like "Toys?? Where do you work?" And that's when the truth was revealed. Man, my family is weird.
My mother also told me about Uncle Man's crazy girlfriend coming to my grandmother's (his mother) house at 1 or 2 a.m.
Miss Wynn, Miss Wynn! Kenneth said he's gonna kill himself!!
So? If he's gonna kill himself he's gonna kill himself. What am I gonna do?!
But miss Wynn. . .
Don't ever wake me up again for no mess like that!
This woman did not even care. Turns out my uncle just wanted the woman to leave, but she wouldn't so he said something about turning on the gas or something. . .
Just crazy.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Lyrics of Life
Sometimes a song is so good just because you can really relate to it, or you know someone that it describes.
This one reminds me of T-Bizzy
She has no idea what she's doing in college
That major that she majored in don't make no money
But she won't drop out, her parents will look at her funny
Now, tell me that ain't insecure
The concept of school seems so secure
Sophmore three years aint picked a carreer. . .
(Kanye West)
These remind me of me
But as a shorty i looked up to the dopeman
Only adult man i knew that wasnt a broke man. . .
(Kanye West)
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me. . .
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
Thinking the faster that I go
The faster that I will reach my goal
The race is not given to the swift
But to the one who endureth. . .
Slow it down baby
you're goin' too fast
(India.arie)
This one reminds me of S-money
I've run out of answers
I've run out of time
And im so confused that im loosin my mind
Its gonna take a miracle to help me this time
I'm traveling a road that has not one sign. . .
Oooh sometimes its hard to face the truth so we run. . .
I need an angel
Im calling an angel,
send me an angel (Send it on down)
(Ruben Studdard)
Sometimes a song is so good just because you can really relate to it, or you know someone that it describes.
This one reminds me of T-Bizzy
She has no idea what she's doing in college
That major that she majored in don't make no money
But she won't drop out, her parents will look at her funny
Now, tell me that ain't insecure
The concept of school seems so secure
Sophmore three years aint picked a carreer. . .
(Kanye West)
These remind me of me
But as a shorty i looked up to the dopeman
Only adult man i knew that wasnt a broke man. . .
(Kanye West)
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me. . .
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
Thinking the faster that I go
The faster that I will reach my goal
The race is not given to the swift
But to the one who endureth. . .
Slow it down baby
you're goin' too fast
(India.arie)
This one reminds me of S-money
I've run out of answers
I've run out of time
And im so confused that im loosin my mind
Its gonna take a miracle to help me this time
I'm traveling a road that has not one sign. . .
Oooh sometimes its hard to face the truth so we run. . .
I need an angel
Im calling an angel,
send me an angel (Send it on down)
(Ruben Studdard)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Questions
. . .Can I pinch your cheeks? -Dante
Now what kinda question is that? Do you seriously think thats an ok question to ask? Who asks that?
First of all NO.
NO because I'm not 5 years old
NO because I don't know where your hands have been.
Second of all, thanks for asking first, but. . .NO.
What is wrong with my head?
I've been having this headache for THREE WEEKS NOW!!!! It won't go away :-( I'm tired of it. And it's not like a regular headache. It's like a forehead ache. It feels like I've been holding my head in one scrunched up position and its tensing and cramping up. Maybe I get cramps in my head instead of my stomach? I don't know, but it's not cool and it's not going away, and its making me miserable.
What is really wrong with my head?
I'm not superwoman. I don't think I can actually take 18 hours AND work 3 jobs AND do church activities AND stay sane. Maybe I'll end up in the nuthouse, or maybe just on drugs. But, before it gets to that, something's gonna have to give. I don't want it to be my sanity.
Where is it?
I lost my strawberry ChapStick and I'm too mad. I'm really hoping I don't find it in. .oh say, the WASHER or God forbid, the DRYER. That would not be good. I love that stuff. I love to keep it in my pants pocket so that when I put it on its warm from my body heat and it glides on nice and smooth. And the fragrance is so nice. . . where is it?
I also lost 2 of my favorite pairs of underwear. How does one loose underwear? Beats me, but I want them back.
Who knows where my class ring is. I gave up on that one.
And what about all my freakin socks? Now, I've always been so very particular about my socks, but lately I've really let myself go. I've started wearing 2 totally different socks, as long as they're the same color. Who cares if one's an ankle sock that keeps falling in my gym shoe and the other is a knee high stocking? I just don't anymore. I'm not even ashamed to admit that I've been grossly going sock-less a few times, and even worse, last week I wore the same pair of socks for like, 3 days. In a row. Feel free to get me some socks.
And I know I had some more belts.
And I coulda SWORE I had more church clothes. Something is up. . .
********I might as well go au naturel as far as clothing goes. Wait, no. Bad idea.
Where is my cousin Jerome???
Where is my acceptance letter from Knox?. . . .
Where the heck is my PIN from FAFSA? come on people, march 1 is coming up soon!
Thank you for being so attentive to my issues.
I love you! *HUG*
*pulls self together*
. . .Can I pinch your cheeks? -Dante
Now what kinda question is that? Do you seriously think thats an ok question to ask? Who asks that?
First of all NO.
NO because I'm not 5 years old
NO because I don't know where your hands have been.
Second of all, thanks for asking first, but. . .NO.
What is wrong with my head?
I've been having this headache for THREE WEEKS NOW!!!! It won't go away :-( I'm tired of it. And it's not like a regular headache. It's like a forehead ache. It feels like I've been holding my head in one scrunched up position and its tensing and cramping up. Maybe I get cramps in my head instead of my stomach? I don't know, but it's not cool and it's not going away, and its making me miserable.
What is really wrong with my head?
I'm not superwoman. I don't think I can actually take 18 hours AND work 3 jobs AND do church activities AND stay sane. Maybe I'll end up in the nuthouse, or maybe just on drugs. But, before it gets to that, something's gonna have to give. I don't want it to be my sanity.
Where is it?
I lost my strawberry ChapStick and I'm too mad. I'm really hoping I don't find it in. .oh say, the WASHER or God forbid, the DRYER. That would not be good. I love that stuff. I love to keep it in my pants pocket so that when I put it on its warm from my body heat and it glides on nice and smooth. And the fragrance is so nice. . . where is it?
I also lost 2 of my favorite pairs of underwear. How does one loose underwear? Beats me, but I want them back.
Who knows where my class ring is. I gave up on that one.
And what about all my freakin socks? Now, I've always been so very particular about my socks, but lately I've really let myself go. I've started wearing 2 totally different socks, as long as they're the same color. Who cares if one's an ankle sock that keeps falling in my gym shoe and the other is a knee high stocking? I just don't anymore. I'm not even ashamed to admit that I've been grossly going sock-less a few times, and even worse, last week I wore the same pair of socks for like, 3 days. In a row. Feel free to get me some socks.
And I know I had some more belts.
And I coulda SWORE I had more church clothes. Something is up. . .
********I might as well go au naturel as far as clothing goes. Wait, no. Bad idea.
Where is my cousin Jerome???
Where is my acceptance letter from Knox?. . . .
Where the heck is my PIN from FAFSA? come on people, march 1 is coming up soon!
Thank you for being so attentive to my issues.
I love you! *HUG*
*pulls self together*
Monday, February 21, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Other people's blogs just aren't as good as your own. This is the conclusion I have come to. Maybe it's because I'm a person who can be highly critical, maybe I'm just right, but I'm truly convinced that other people's blogs aren't as good as your own.
Your blog is personal. You know what you meant to say when you said what you said but didn't really say what you meant to say *breath*. You know how you really felt when you blogged about whatever situation, and your readers only know how you told them you felt.
Your blog is your story. When you read it, you remember those good times/bad times and it takes you back. Memories are always a good thing, and your blog holds your memories.
Your blog is read by your friends. You can have personal jokes to no end that noone else will understand but you and that blog-reading friend you share that joke with. There's nothing like that. Outsiders can read it, and it won't make sense, and your blog may even be labeled by them as 'crap' (as I have labeled some blogs), but if it's crap, it's your crap, and nobody's crap is like your own.
That said, I love my blog.
So, for those of you who care (which includes those blog-reading friends), Max and I finally had a talk and (tried to) put everything out on the table about our 'situation'. I don't know if we accomplished much, but I sure do feel a LOT better. Now I can breathe. (okay, yea I was breathing before but you know what I mean)
Photography class is going pretty well, do you want me to take your picture? Cuz I would love to! Just don't get too 'posey' on me (and you know who I'm talking to). I want something natural. I want something genuine, not a senior picture. sheesh
Congrats to:
Tura, for moving out. Need anything? just ask me! And know that I am proud of you.
Randy, for getting a blog. Welcome to our blogging community, I hope you enjoy the experience.
Tis all people. Till next week?
Your blog is personal. You know what you meant to say when you said what you said but didn't really say what you meant to say *breath*. You know how you really felt when you blogged about whatever situation, and your readers only know how you told them you felt.
Your blog is your story. When you read it, you remember those good times/bad times and it takes you back. Memories are always a good thing, and your blog holds your memories.
Your blog is read by your friends. You can have personal jokes to no end that noone else will understand but you and that blog-reading friend you share that joke with. There's nothing like that. Outsiders can read it, and it won't make sense, and your blog may even be labeled by them as 'crap' (as I have labeled some blogs), but if it's crap, it's your crap, and nobody's crap is like your own.
That said, I love my blog.
So, for those of you who care (which includes those blog-reading friends), Max and I finally had a talk and (tried to) put everything out on the table about our 'situation'. I don't know if we accomplished much, but I sure do feel a LOT better. Now I can breathe. (okay, yea I was breathing before but you know what I mean)
Photography class is going pretty well, do you want me to take your picture? Cuz I would love to! Just don't get too 'posey' on me (and you know who I'm talking to). I want something natural. I want something genuine, not a senior picture. sheesh
Congrats to:
Tura, for moving out. Need anything? just ask me! And know that I am proud of you.
Randy, for getting a blog. Welcome to our blogging community, I hope you enjoy the experience.
Tis all people. Till next week?
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Because You Don't Understand
I wish
that i could open this box
and you could peer in
and every pain i feel as a result of you
would swarm your head
and get in your eyes and ears
and blind you
and attack you
and make you feel
like i do.
I wish
that you were on this side of the fence
and you could see how crazy you look
and hear how irrational you sound
and feel what about it makes me cry
and that it was you who
could not explain it either.
I wish that you understood.
I wish
that i could give you a magnifying glass
the size of the earth
so you could see the scope of this problem in my life
then maybe you,
with all the answers
and all the justifications
could tell me what to say
could tell me what i should've done
could tell me how to explain it to you
I wish
that i could cuss you out
and feel better
I wish
that your eyes could be opened
to this, the sun of my problems
and I wish
that I could steal your precious sunglasses
and I wish that you were exposed,
bound and naked to that sun
and that you would feel the heat
and that your eyes would squint
and that your skin would begin to scorch
and your poor eyes would burn, and sting
and tear.
but wishes get me nowhere.
I wish
that i could open this box
and you could peer in
and every pain i feel as a result of you
would swarm your head
and get in your eyes and ears
and blind you
and attack you
and make you feel
like i do.
I wish
that you were on this side of the fence
and you could see how crazy you look
and hear how irrational you sound
and feel what about it makes me cry
and that it was you who
could not explain it either.
I wish that you understood.
I wish
that i could give you a magnifying glass
the size of the earth
so you could see the scope of this problem in my life
then maybe you,
with all the answers
and all the justifications
could tell me what to say
could tell me what i should've done
could tell me how to explain it to you
I wish
that i could cuss you out
and feel better
I wish
that your eyes could be opened
to this, the sun of my problems
and I wish
that I could steal your precious sunglasses
and I wish that you were exposed,
bound and naked to that sun
and that you would feel the heat
and that your eyes would squint
and that your skin would begin to scorch
and your poor eyes would burn, and sting
and tear.
but wishes get me nowhere.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Oooooh, guuurl, your friend is so cute!
If I hear that one mo' time. . .
See, that's exactly why you don't introduce some friends to other friends. The first friend, Kabah. The other friends, every female friend I have. Now, what in your right mind makes you think I want you talking to me about how cute my friend is? Don't you think I know he's cute? Don't you think I think he's cute? That's why he is MY friend, not yours! No, I'm not gonna give you his number, and NO I don't want you callin him to see if ya'll can hang out sometime. I don't even wanna hang out with you and him, all 3 of us. Leave him alone. Don't be askin if he' s over 18 so you know he's legal. And no, he's not your type. He likes females with a full set of healthy teeth. And you only like guys that you can look up under the Illinois Department of Corrections, and my dear he does not have a record. He is kind and deep and writes excellent poetry. He enjoys someone he can have a nice intellectual conversation with. You are not his type.
That's all I have to say about that.
If I hear that one mo' time. . .
See, that's exactly why you don't introduce some friends to other friends. The first friend, Kabah. The other friends, every female friend I have. Now, what in your right mind makes you think I want you talking to me about how cute my friend is? Don't you think I know he's cute? Don't you think I think he's cute? That's why he is MY friend, not yours! No, I'm not gonna give you his number, and NO I don't want you callin him to see if ya'll can hang out sometime. I don't even wanna hang out with you and him, all 3 of us. Leave him alone. Don't be askin if he' s over 18 so you know he's legal. And no, he's not your type. He likes females with a full set of healthy teeth. And you only like guys that you can look up under the Illinois Department of Corrections, and my dear he does not have a record. He is kind and deep and writes excellent poetry. He enjoys someone he can have a nice intellectual conversation with. You are not his type.
That's all I have to say about that.
Promised Land Tea
I likes my tea with milk and honey
now, come here baby, wontchu fix some for me?
cuz I'm tired, all day I been standin' on my feet
put that milk in my tea to soothe me to sleep.
6 o'clock in the morning
come on baby, fix me some tea
I got a long day's work ahead, and a short night's sleep
put some honey in there to make my day sweet.
Yes, I like my tea with milk and honey
how many times you gon' ask me??
Fix it up right, now. Don't mess up my tea
Lets both sit down and have a cup, and you can tell me your stories
I'll nod my head and smile, but chile' I won't be listening
I'll be too caught up in the taste and smell of my honey milk tea
See, it reminds me of the promised land-you know, land of milk and honey?
And the little piece of peace this tea brings makes it just right for me.
I likes my tea with milk and honey
now, come here baby, wontchu fix some for me?
cuz I'm tired, all day I been standin' on my feet
put that milk in my tea to soothe me to sleep.
6 o'clock in the morning
come on baby, fix me some tea
I got a long day's work ahead, and a short night's sleep
put some honey in there to make my day sweet.
Yes, I like my tea with milk and honey
how many times you gon' ask me??
Fix it up right, now. Don't mess up my tea
Lets both sit down and have a cup, and you can tell me your stories
I'll nod my head and smile, but chile' I won't be listening
I'll be too caught up in the taste and smell of my honey milk tea
See, it reminds me of the promised land-you know, land of milk and honey?
And the little piece of peace this tea brings makes it just right for me.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I must be (going) crazy
Thursdays are very long days for me here at school. I'm here from 9:30 a.m. till 9 p.m. Not cool at all. Besides that, I have my guitar class on Thursdays, so that means I have to bring my guitar and carry it around all day with me. So today, I woke up on time, but who knows what happened to make me rush out of the house, but I almost missed my bus. I was figuring I wanted to look cute today (WHYYY????) so I decided to wear my boots with the nice 3 inch heel. That was fine until I left the house.
I found myself juggling the guitar on my back, backpack full and heavy with camera and props half swinging off of one shoulder, lugging my purse, eating an egg sandwich and running for the bus in the still half-way icy street in heels.
I must be (going) crazy.
My friend let me borrow her camera for my photography class. When she gave it to me, I made sure to have her tell me where this feature and that feature was. Then, when I got home, I was about to turn it on and see how it worked. Until I realized that I didn't know how to turn it on. I sat with that camera for at least half an hour trying to figure out how to turn the dang thing on, I think I almost broke it too, but to no avail. Then I'm thinking, maybe it doesn't turn on?
I get to class, teacher shows me how to properly load the film. She tries to turn it on. She can't figure it out either. "Maybe the battery's dead" she says, but even if so, wouldn't there still be a way to turn t on? So, she tells me to watch what the boy next to me does, as if watching him take pictures of his props is going to help me learn something. I have lugged my props to school for NOTHING. Then, toward the end of our "photo shoot" session, she takes another look at the camera. "Oh, here it is! This is how you turn it on. . ."
Are you kidding me? I just sat here for HALF AN HOUR watching this boy take pictures, sitting in my seat like Boo Boo the Fool with nothing to do, and the whole time I coulda been taking pictures? Tell me this isn't real.
I must be (going) crazy.
My statistics teacher is not right. The man comes to class the first day, I'm noticing his pants are a little short. Like, the hem is at least an inch above his ankles. No. Then I'm thinking, well, he is a little tall. . . you know, trying to justify it. Then I notice his pants are pulled halfway up his stomach. Okaaay. . . Why did my eyes travel down that extra few inches? After that, my attention for stats was no good, all I could see was the rise of his pants WAAAAY up in his crotch. If he was female, dude woulda straight up had a camel toe. And nobody, NOBODY shoulda seen what I saw. The man's pants were up sooo high that his stuff was bulging on the side of his leg. THAT IS LIKE, SO NASTY. How can I focus on math when I'm in shock that this man is seriously dressed this way, and isn't that a little uncomfortable?. . . Did he not feel his stuff being all smashed up and compressed? Was his member not uncomfortable being exploited in front of a class of 20-somethings? That's all I could think about that whole class, and I just had to pray that the rest of the semester would go smoothly (and a little more loosely for him)
I must be (going) crazy.
Thursdays are very long days for me here at school. I'm here from 9:30 a.m. till 9 p.m. Not cool at all. Besides that, I have my guitar class on Thursdays, so that means I have to bring my guitar and carry it around all day with me. So today, I woke up on time, but who knows what happened to make me rush out of the house, but I almost missed my bus. I was figuring I wanted to look cute today (WHYYY????) so I decided to wear my boots with the nice 3 inch heel. That was fine until I left the house.
I found myself juggling the guitar on my back, backpack full and heavy with camera and props half swinging off of one shoulder, lugging my purse, eating an egg sandwich and running for the bus in the still half-way icy street in heels.
I must be (going) crazy.
My friend let me borrow her camera for my photography class. When she gave it to me, I made sure to have her tell me where this feature and that feature was. Then, when I got home, I was about to turn it on and see how it worked. Until I realized that I didn't know how to turn it on. I sat with that camera for at least half an hour trying to figure out how to turn the dang thing on, I think I almost broke it too, but to no avail. Then I'm thinking, maybe it doesn't turn on?
I get to class, teacher shows me how to properly load the film. She tries to turn it on. She can't figure it out either. "Maybe the battery's dead" she says, but even if so, wouldn't there still be a way to turn t on? So, she tells me to watch what the boy next to me does, as if watching him take pictures of his props is going to help me learn something. I have lugged my props to school for NOTHING. Then, toward the end of our "photo shoot" session, she takes another look at the camera. "Oh, here it is! This is how you turn it on. . ."
Are you kidding me? I just sat here for HALF AN HOUR watching this boy take pictures, sitting in my seat like Boo Boo the Fool with nothing to do, and the whole time I coulda been taking pictures? Tell me this isn't real.
I must be (going) crazy.
My statistics teacher is not right. The man comes to class the first day, I'm noticing his pants are a little short. Like, the hem is at least an inch above his ankles. No. Then I'm thinking, well, he is a little tall. . . you know, trying to justify it. Then I notice his pants are pulled halfway up his stomach. Okaaay. . . Why did my eyes travel down that extra few inches? After that, my attention for stats was no good, all I could see was the rise of his pants WAAAAY up in his crotch. If he was female, dude woulda straight up had a camel toe. And nobody, NOBODY shoulda seen what I saw. The man's pants were up sooo high that his stuff was bulging on the side of his leg. THAT IS LIKE, SO NASTY. How can I focus on math when I'm in shock that this man is seriously dressed this way, and isn't that a little uncomfortable?. . . Did he not feel his stuff being all smashed up and compressed? Was his member not uncomfortable being exploited in front of a class of 20-somethings? That's all I could think about that whole class, and I just had to pray that the rest of the semester would go smoothly (and a little more loosely for him)
I must be (going) crazy.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Grindin'
It's the first day of school, and I'm actually kinda glad to be back in the grind. Break was nice, I got plenty of rest and relaxation. Now, it's time to get with it and hit these books. And I'm ready.
I'm taking:
Photography 1
Interpersonal Communications
Composition 2 *praying*
Cultural Tour (Germany!!)
Statistics
Basic Guitar
Music Appreciation
So, don't ask me what I'm taking cuz I can never remember them all.
By the way, I'm a little upset that I just got treated by BruthaCode and he doesn't even know me.
". . .*this also applies to people who think it's cute to take out your cornrows and wear that shit out in a wild ass afro... lookin like one of those trolls at the end of your pencil!!*"
whateva dude. . .lol
It's the first day of school, and I'm actually kinda glad to be back in the grind. Break was nice, I got plenty of rest and relaxation. Now, it's time to get with it and hit these books. And I'm ready.
I'm taking:
Photography 1
Interpersonal Communications
Composition 2 *praying*
Cultural Tour (Germany!!)
Statistics
Basic Guitar
Music Appreciation
So, don't ask me what I'm taking cuz I can never remember them all.
By the way, I'm a little upset that I just got treated by BruthaCode and he doesn't even know me.
". . .*this also applies to people who think it's cute to take out your cornrows and wear that shit out in a wild ass afro... lookin like one of those trolls at the end of your pencil!!*"
whateva dude. . .lol
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
2004
Looking at the calendar today, I can't belive Christmas is just next week. I'm not even done shopping!! Anyway, everyone knows that after thanksgiving the rest of the year just flies by, and it has definately flown. I am forced to think back on the year, but it's always hard to remember what happened in the beginning months. What can I remember?
Starting to find my father's side of the family
Meeting Max
Meeting Kabah (can you belive it was this year?)
Meeting Obina (Jeffrey)
TYJ died
Donna and Kitty "left"
Emily got her own apartment
Meeting Julius
Becoming leader of the Praise Dancers
Tura and Sonia went to Guyana for spring Break
Sonia moved out
Sonia got Trevor
Sonia's mommy passed :-(
I got to know SO MANY of my beautiful African people :-D
KEITH!!
I finally quit Claire's
Started TJ Maxx, S&K, and peer mentoring
Took a class with KaReisha
Went on a date with AJ
Went on a double date
Got my hair chopped off
Wow, so this year has been pretty much uneventful.
Looking at the calendar today, I can't belive Christmas is just next week. I'm not even done shopping!! Anyway, everyone knows that after thanksgiving the rest of the year just flies by, and it has definately flown. I am forced to think back on the year, but it's always hard to remember what happened in the beginning months. What can I remember?
Starting to find my father's side of the family
Meeting Max
Meeting Kabah (can you belive it was this year?)
Meeting Obina (Jeffrey)
TYJ died
Donna and Kitty "left"
Emily got her own apartment
Meeting Julius
Becoming leader of the Praise Dancers
Tura and Sonia went to Guyana for spring Break
Sonia moved out
Sonia got Trevor
Sonia's mommy passed :-(
I got to know SO MANY of my beautiful African people :-D
KEITH!!
I finally quit Claire's
Started TJ Maxx, S&K, and peer mentoring
Took a class with KaReisha
Went on a date with AJ
Went on a double date
Got my hair chopped off
Wow, so this year has been pretty much uneventful.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel like I have noone to talk to. Well, really, noone to listen because I can talk until my face is blue, but that doesn't mean anyone will listen to me. . .
But you know what? This is MY BLOG and i can talk alllll i want to!
SCHOOL
I have a problem with school. I love learning, but since third grade or so, school hasn't really been my forte. I hate the homework, I hate the busy work, maybe my problem is that I just hate the work. I hate the structure. I hate having to take classes that pertain to things I'm not interested in and that will affect whether I graduate on time and that affect my GPA, and are not even a part of my major. They claim it's to make students more 'well rounded' but I disagree. I think there must be better ways. But it doesn't matter. School is one of those things you have to do, and with society today, choosing higher education is a social norm of sorts. It doesn't even matter how much or little you know, but what does matter is your status as a degree holder. Even if I don't know JACK but still have a degree behind my name, I could get a decent job. And those who are so smart and educated because of interest, not because of force of going to school, but don't have a degree are going NOWHERE. Sad isn't it? But nobody seems to care, because the world will keep moving with or without you. It will move with or without me, so what is my rush? by the time I get "there", "there" will be in a whole different place, and I will forever be chasing.
BODY
Hey body, what's wrong with you? You haven't been acting right for the past few years, and I'm getting tired of your games. All I want you to do is function and feel good, can't you do that for me? We're in this thing together!!! There is no you without me, so I suggest you straighten up before I fire you. But do realize, there is no me without you! I'm begging you here. You keep hurting me. Whyy. Haven't I loved you? Maybe not always but I always fed and watered you. Is this the treatment I get? I'm trying to take better care of you, take you out for walks every now and then, and make sure you get some balanced meals, but it's hard Body. It's so hard sometimes. Forgive me if sometimes I don't have time to feed you. Forgive me if I forget to water you. PLEASE forgive me if I neglect to take you out for play and excercise once in a while, but I need you to stay strong for me. (and slim down a little) We can't go on this way. If I do my best to do my part, please reciprocate the favor. Do this for US.
LOVE
Everyone always told me you suck.
I'm not sure if it's true, but I always tried to be the optimist and defend your honor, but I'm wondering if I should belive the hype. I think the problem is that nobody gets you. You are SO misunderstood, and that must be hard, but maybe if you were a little more consistent. . . I don't even know what you are. Perhaps you are a serial killer, making hearts break and crushing millions who vow to never come to you again. But sometimes you can be so nice. AHA! I've got it! You are a trap. We, unsuspecting humans are the mice, and you Love, are both the yummy cheese and the snapping trap. How can you be so cruel? Does it bring you pleasure to see so many in pain? Is that where you get off? If so, then Love, you are SICK and I ABHOR you. If not, then please help me clarify what the heck you are. Since the beginning of time your mystery has been held, and I promise, if you help me understand you, I will help the world understand you, and you will be seen in a much more positive light. Deal?
Thank you for listening.
Sometimes I feel like I have noone to talk to. Well, really, noone to listen because I can talk until my face is blue, but that doesn't mean anyone will listen to me. . .
But you know what? This is MY BLOG and i can talk alllll i want to!
SCHOOL
I have a problem with school. I love learning, but since third grade or so, school hasn't really been my forte. I hate the homework, I hate the busy work, maybe my problem is that I just hate the work. I hate the structure. I hate having to take classes that pertain to things I'm not interested in and that will affect whether I graduate on time and that affect my GPA, and are not even a part of my major. They claim it's to make students more 'well rounded' but I disagree. I think there must be better ways. But it doesn't matter. School is one of those things you have to do, and with society today, choosing higher education is a social norm of sorts. It doesn't even matter how much or little you know, but what does matter is your status as a degree holder. Even if I don't know JACK but still have a degree behind my name, I could get a decent job. And those who are so smart and educated because of interest, not because of force of going to school, but don't have a degree are going NOWHERE. Sad isn't it? But nobody seems to care, because the world will keep moving with or without you. It will move with or without me, so what is my rush? by the time I get "there", "there" will be in a whole different place, and I will forever be chasing.
BODY
Hey body, what's wrong with you? You haven't been acting right for the past few years, and I'm getting tired of your games. All I want you to do is function and feel good, can't you do that for me? We're in this thing together!!! There is no you without me, so I suggest you straighten up before I fire you. But do realize, there is no me without you! I'm begging you here. You keep hurting me. Whyy. Haven't I loved you? Maybe not always but I always fed and watered you. Is this the treatment I get? I'm trying to take better care of you, take you out for walks every now and then, and make sure you get some balanced meals, but it's hard Body. It's so hard sometimes. Forgive me if sometimes I don't have time to feed you. Forgive me if I forget to water you. PLEASE forgive me if I neglect to take you out for play and excercise once in a while, but I need you to stay strong for me. (and slim down a little) We can't go on this way. If I do my best to do my part, please reciprocate the favor. Do this for US.
LOVE
Everyone always told me you suck.
I'm not sure if it's true, but I always tried to be the optimist and defend your honor, but I'm wondering if I should belive the hype. I think the problem is that nobody gets you. You are SO misunderstood, and that must be hard, but maybe if you were a little more consistent. . . I don't even know what you are. Perhaps you are a serial killer, making hearts break and crushing millions who vow to never come to you again. But sometimes you can be so nice. AHA! I've got it! You are a trap. We, unsuspecting humans are the mice, and you Love, are both the yummy cheese and the snapping trap. How can you be so cruel? Does it bring you pleasure to see so many in pain? Is that where you get off? If so, then Love, you are SICK and I ABHOR you. If not, then please help me clarify what the heck you are. Since the beginning of time your mystery has been held, and I promise, if you help me understand you, I will help the world understand you, and you will be seen in a much more positive light. Deal?
Thank you for listening.
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