So this is how it goes:

I'm really liking friendboyJ, I mean, I'm feeling this dude big time. But at the same time, I'm feeling so many inhibitions and doubts about this, but I do tend to overthink things. The doubts are nothing big, just little things that I find, and then I dwell on them. But, friendboy is MAD cool, I'm loving his ways, his walk, his taste, his talk. The more I see him and get to know him, the better, and the more I'm into him.

But I don't want to loose my head over him. I just want to like him, not fall madly in love, because he's leaving at the end of the summer. Do I develop a relationship? If yes, it could be just a fun thing, just a summer romance, and then let him go when the time comes. But, what if I get too attached? If no relationship, then I could be missing out on something good for both of us. How long could the "just friends" thing work?

You would love him, you really would. He is just absolutely great. And for me being a person with so many "standards" its great to actually find someone who meets them, so you know he has to be a catch. Everybody says "go for it", I think my heart is even saying "go for it", but my head is the one with the 'buts' and 'what if's'.

I want this. I know I want this. *sigh*