Its July already.

On one hand, im glad to be in school this summer. It gives me something to do during the day. It gives my mind some stimulation that I definately wouldn't be getting during the summer. And, if I do good in both of my classes, it will definately raise my GPA, which I think is my main goal. But, its also a struggle taking summer classes. Especially english. I mean, having to write an 8 page paper over a weekend is just a little stressful. Especially if you are known to procrastinate (like yours truly). So I'm doing my best. I'm gettin an A in Spanish, and well, lets say not an A in English. Its okay though, i'm not going to let it be the end of my world. Today I got a spanish test back. I got a B. I was really upset, but I really just have to let these things go, because they will drag me down otherwise.
Im running on 'E' today, just totally empty. All i've eaten so far is a honey bun and drank a Pepsi Vanilla. It was good though. I tried to put sugar and caffeine in my system to make up for the lack of sleep i've been getting all week. Last night I only got 3 hours, and thats only because I overslept for 1 hour. I need to go home and sleep, but I have this paper to write this weekend. I need to study my spanish, cuz I can't keep getting B's on tests, that is so not acceptable. I'm thinking about Jeffrey cuz apparently he's mad at me, and we need to have a talk. I haven't talked to him in a while... Also I miss Max, which is just crazy because I didn't even think that I liked him until I let him go. Funny how that works. I've been debating whether or not I should call him, just to see what's up. I dunno.

I just don't know.

Keith asked me about our relationship. What is it? Where is it going? Too much to think about, I really don't know. Julius said that a "real woman" knows what she wants, etc. A lot of people think that way, but i thought about it, and I concluded that a "real woman" has to make up her mind just like any other, and that she may even take longer in doing so because she wants to make the right decision. That makes more sense to me.

This always happens, I find myself juggling so many things at once. School and grades, friends (all home from college, i've only hung out with a few), "boy-friends" (and all that drama), which also encompasses this thing called Love, Church/God, plus my obligation to the praise dancers, work (don't even get me started on that), family, wanting to move out, thinking about my future (what the heck am I gonna do after HCC???), thinking about my present, just everything swimming in my head, swimming around me. It's only through God that I have peace. Im trying to find some balance, but is balance possible? Is life meant to be balanced?

I often find myself hungry. My mother says I don't eat enough, and I think this may be true. But sometimes I eat enough, and sometimes more than enough. But now, I'm hungry.

I didn't mean to complain so much, just kinda let my mind wander. Reguardless of all that stuff, I know that I am still SO blessed, blessed and highly favored. That's a wonderful feeling. Thank You Lord.