How To Get Over Your Man

Well, make that your ex. If you're trying to get over him, he's no longer your man right?

1) Stop going to his house. Especially at night or when noone else is home. The more you visit, the more often you'll see him and this will make it harder to forget about him.

2) Try not to drive in the area where he lives. Or at least not down his street. If you must drive down his street, don't look to see if his lights are on or if his car is there. It doesn't matter if he's home, you're not going to see him anyway.

3) If he stops by your house unexpectedly, it's alright to let him in, but it's best to be short with him while making small talk. Don't engage him in real conversation. This will make him uncomfortable and he will want to leave.

4) If he calls unexpectedly, see #3.

5) Don't find any reason to call, email, or send a letter or card to him. Even if it's his birthday. It is essential that you limit all contact.

6) Throw away his toothbrush. You may have kept it in your bathroom just in case he happens to spend the night, because "you just never know." He won't be spending the night anymore, so you don't need to keep it. Throw away anything else you might be keeping for his sake, this includes food that you have in stock just because he likes it.
6a) It is acceptable to continue wearing clothing such as T-shirts, shorts, etc. that was previously his. It is yours now.

7) If you stop by your mother's house and a car that looks similar to his is parked in front, come back later. It's probably his car and he may have found out you were coming and made an excuse to stay until you got there. You don't want to see him, but if you are looking especially cute it's ok to go in. Reference #3 for rules regarding conversation.

8) Let other men do things for you e.g. scrape snow off of your car, give you a ride, or buy you things. This will alleviate some of the frustration you may feel by not having your ex around to do these things for you. Also, it will make you feel good to know that you've "still got it" (even if the men offering these services are undesirable).

10) Try to date other people. Even if you don't know anyone, or don't get out enough to meet someone new, keep trying. Ask friends if they know someone. You don't need to try to replace your ex, just get out there and have some fun being single.

Follow these simple guidelines and soon your ex will be a distant memory. If all else fails, move out of town.