City Bus Philosopy
(God definately has a sense of humor.)

I was riding the bus to school yesterday morning. It was the same as most other mornings: hit the snooze twice before waking up, then rush to get ready to leave by 7, speedwalk/jog to the bus stop and pray the whole way that I don't miss the bus. Regular morning.

Well, this particular day my prayers didn't exactly work. As I was half a block away from the bus stop, I saw the bus zoom by. This is not cool when I have just speed-walked 5.5 blocks. I make the long trudge back home, lugging my bag and purse, which are killing my shoulders, and wearing the same sandals I said I would never walk signifigant distances in again.

The next bus I took was the one that comes right by my house. For some reason, I almost missed that one too. As I was about to cross the street (2-way traffic) I saw it approaching, and I seriously had to weigh the pros and cons of nearly getting hit by a car to catch the bus, or missing statistics class. Well, nevertheless I made it to class.

Two women that also go to my school were on there, talking about classes and general chit-chat. When one mentioned that she was taking philosophy, I immediately thought of 2ra. She (let's call her Myrtle) talked about how much she hated it, the other woman (lets call her Kim) wholeheartedly agreed.

Kim: I hate philosophy! Gawd, its the worst! Have you leaned about
Socrates yet? ooo, ooo, did you learn about SoandSo's theory on this?? or what
about What'shisname's theory on that?? OH MAN I HATE PHILOSOPHY!!!!!

Yeah. She was awfully enthused about this philosophy thing. Tina had a look of contained freaked-outness as Kim rambled and rambled, and became louder and louder. She went on her own tangent, completely leaving Myrtle behind, about every philosophical theory she could think of on the spot, and whose theory it was, and what it meant. I'm tellin ya, she really hated philosophy.

I'm telling you, this woman was so animated, loud, and excited you wouldn't believe it. She then asked Myrtle,
"Do you know what the ultimate philosophical question is?"
Myrtyle, with a look of scared-confusedness replied,
"Um, no."
Kim with her LOUD self said,
"DOES GOD LUV IT BECUZ ITS GOOD, O IZ IT GOOD BECUZ GOD LUVS IT?!?!?!"
as if she had just made a profound declaration of the end-all of everything that is deep. Yeah.

Bus Driver: Well I don't really know.
Myrtle: Hm, well I guess. . .
Kim: YEA, SEE, I TOLD YA. YOO CAN'T FIGGA IT OUT!
Bus Driver: It could be either one, because God can do anything he wants.
Kim: YEA! HE CAN EVEN MICROWAVE A BURRITO SO HOT THAT EVEN HE COULDN'T EAT IT!
BUT THEN HE COULDN'T EAT IT.
SO DEN, CAN HE REALLY DO ANTHING??

Kim the proceeded to crack up and bust a gut at her own joke. She was both the comedian and entire comic-view audience. I woulda turned Apollo up in that mug, and dragged her crazy self off the bus. Her city-bus philosophy was just too much for me. I figured it would be better to stay quiet and blogaboutit.

I wish you coulda been there.

Dream On

What is a dream
but a bubble in the space of my mind?
Fragile, iridescent, transparent
floating in time

What is a dream
but my lifeline?
though deferred making hearts ill,
to defer a dream can kill

For it is by our dreams
that we aspire
to grasp the unreachable
teach the unteachable
go where we've never been before
by our dreams we are unstoppable
didn't you know?

What is a dream
but a shiny pretty thing?
sparkling in rays of hope
dimming in light of reality

What is a dream
but foundation for everything

For it is by our dreams that we achieve
for what has ability without support of dreams?
The world is made greater because of these
see the influence of Ghandi and King?
Even they have no more power than we
but were able both to see and believe
in the power of their dreams

So, what then is a dream
but life-both to the world and us
Fear not ambitious reveries
Dream on! Dream on we must!

Zzzzzzzzzzzz. . .

Problem: I cannot stay awake in my statistics class. It's not that it's so boring, its me. It's not that I don't sleep at night, because I usually do. I don't know what it is, but its getting to a ridiculous point. Yesterday it was so bad that I left class halfway through because I could literally stay awake for only 5 or so minutes at a time before dozing off. I fight the sleep so so hard, but its like I'm a classroom narcaleptic, and it's really becoming a problem. And you should see my notes. Nothing like that drifting off to sleep writing. But I've tried everything to keep myself awake! I tried drinking something to awaken my senses, shaking my leg, tapping my foot, stretching, breathing deep to get some oxygen to my brain, biting my lip or tongue, doodling, even putting my bare foot or leg on the freezing cold pole that holds up the table to shock the mess out of myself. Nothing works.

Then to add fuel to the fire, I drank an orange Mountain Dew last night at work (I was tired ok!). It took me forever to get to sleep, and all I could think was "I'm so not gonna be able to stay awake in class tomorrow". I even cried because of my plight, but eventually I slept.

Solution: I hate to resort to this, but something's gotta give. I'd rather not go this route, but I have no other choice. NoDoz has again become my drug of choice. I only turn to it in extreme cases, i.e. last spring semester when I would'nt sleep the whole night to finish a paper/speech due the next day at 8 a.m. only to face a whole nother day of classes and work. Extreme right? I figured if I took one shortly after I wake up (6 something) then by 8:00 it should be in my system and working quite nicely. Today I stayed awake.

However, even though I was indeed awake, and am still awake, I feel so strange. I feel like my body is really sleeping. It feels like my eyelids are heavy, and about to drop to a close, but are being yanked wide open by the fingers of my caffeine pills. *sigh* I don't like this but I feel like I have to do it. If you know of anything else I can do to help myself stay awake, please help a sista out. Please.

Pleeease.

Hooooold Up

You've got to be kidding me!

I'm in the computer lab, and somebody's cell phone went off. First of all, it was loud and should have been put on vibrate. But no. And of course it had to ring with a ringtone. All I heard was a couple of strange beats, then a loud male whine of AWWWWWW, DIRTY POP!

Dirty Pop??? Of all the ringtones (realtones, not that polyphonic junk) you need to pick Dirty Pop? I would not normally be mad if a cell phone rang in the lab, its not like I'm really doing anything important. However, my belief is that if you wish to keep your ringer on, on its loudest setting, at least get some good music on there! Something I can bop my head to and a song I won't mind being stuck in my head all day.

Dirty Pop does not fall into that category.

So I whip my head around to see who's phone is Dirty Pop'in, expecting to see some young, fresh out of highschool white girl with a pink flip phone that has a light-up antenna. Imagine my surprise when I see a 20-something MAN answer the call. A grown man bumpin Dirty Pop on his cell phone? What's next? "I Want You Back", or "Bye, Bye, Bye"?

Scary man, Scary

ah, the glory of the opposable thumb

Today my statistics teacher spent about 10 minutes in a discussion about today's generation's dexterity of thumbs. I lie not. It started with him asking us which do we use more, the index finger or the thumb?

His father, who is a construction worker, noticed this boy keying in the garage code with his thumb, and thought it quite strange. Strange, because the father himself would have keyed in the code with his index finger.

He then came upon the realization that today's generation use their thumbs more than his own. This attributed mostly to video games, where thumbs are, of course, most handy. Most people also use their thumbs to punch in numbers on their cell phones. (I have seen those in older generations use their fingers to type on their cell phone, and yes, it looks quite silly.) Then the teacher asked, which do you use when operating your calculator?

I laughed to myself. I use my fingers of course! What madness is this?? But some fear embedded in the back of my mind knew there must be some validity to this question. I held my calculator in my hand, slid it into its cover, and preceded to turn it on.

WITH MY THUMB!!!!

Surely this was not right, he must've tricked me into using the opposable phalange! But as I continued to feverishly type in random numbers, It was all thumb, thumb, thumb!!

I was distraught
I was dissapointed in myself
I cried.

Then I realized that yes, I can proudly say I use my thumbs on a daily basis, and so what? Besides, taking an observational stance, I conclude that thumbs are primarily used when the fingers are occupied. The new trend is, the fingers hold, the thumbs get ta workin'.

It all makes sense!
(after that, I preceded to fall asleep during the lecture on Table B, Random Digits)

Unfinished

one mug of tepid tea
a thousand crumbs from cut french bread
knife still readied to butter
left in haste

scraps from a new dress carelessly strewn
multicolored threads decorate wooden floors
opened scissors, straight pins piercing the tomato
quickly forgotten

one page,one pen
a thousand floating thoughts
tens of fleeing words
never completely caught
-lyric

Guurl, What You Done Did???

I cannot believe myself. For someone who sees such a great future for herself, I sure am regressing. I dub this semester as the worst of all since my academic career, and because of it I am seriously ready to drop out. I feel like my life is over.

I got 3 B's and 3 F's. How is that even possible? No A's C's or D's. Just B's and F's. I could whoop myself for this.

I try not to think about it, but I must. When I do, it's just a slippery slope.

How could I do so hooribly this semester? Don't I ever learn? Now, I am more credits behind from graduating Heartland, which means I'll have to take another summer class. But I probably won't be able to because I will lose my scholarship. WHY? Because apparently I made big mistakes this semester. No scholarship, and I still haven't filed my FAFSA, which means I'll probably get NO financial aid, and I certainly can't afford to go to school otherwise, cuz I'm not having my mother pay a dime for it, which means I won't go to school for probably a year, which will put me so behind with my life plans. I might as well just work for the rest of my life. My life is over.

I choke back alligator tears, because they will not help me. I done did it now.

So Far, So Good

Today has been a good day. I anticipated starting the day around 10:00, but for one reason or another (I blame the T.V.), I didn't actually leave until 1:30. Slight delay, but no problem. I carried with me my to-do list and have been crossing things off one by one.

Call Knox- I got this one out of the way before I left the house. I called them once again to check on the status of my application. This time, insead of telling me that she didn't know, the secretary connected me right to an advisor. The advisor told me that the admission decision had been made and that a letter was sent out today. Hopefully within a couple of days I should know. The suspense is gone, I'm now ready to accept my postion as either a Redbird or as a. . .um. . .Knox student (I have no idea what their mascot is). Either way, its about time.

Pick up English portfolio- I went out to the school today to pick up my portfolio from english class. It was a tough semester and I was just hoping the teacher would have enough mercy on me to give me a C. I kinda slacked, and I turned 2 papers in way late-one was over a month late, and both of them were turned in just days before the final portfolio was due. I just prayed for favor and that the Lord would have his way. I read through the comments on the rubric, "variety-yes! good choices on audience! good choices on forum! voice definately presents own ideas! good critical thinking skills!" There were lots of exclamation marks. Portfolio grade: 88% B. Course grade: B. Expression of gratitude: gradeless. . .lol

Here's to hoping the rest of my to-do list and day go just as well
*Cheers!*

Cual Expresion?

Cuss, scream, shout
girl, just let it all out
kick and cry and fight and scream
show them what you really mean

Hush now
swallow those tears down
choke it up,take it like you're tough
noone knows when you cry in your soul

Grab a paper, grab a pen
write those feelings down and then
read it to yourself, share it with a friend
Even if only you can comprehend

Feel release and ease of stress
allow yourself to express yourself
in actions, introversion, or some verbs and
then move on with life.

I'm Exhausted

It is officially time for my body to get a rest. I am becoming fatigued ya'll. I have been pushing my body so hard. I've been staying up late at night in the library working on papers and projects, waking up and going to school early to work on more stuff, going to class, going straight to work, then going back to the library.

I'm even at the library now. And I'm tired. I'm so tired that I can't even see the screen very well and I certainly can't focus to do my work.

In other news though, I finished my portfolio for photograpy today. (YAY!!!!) That lifts a little burden off of me. Tomorrow my English portfolio is due (BOOOO!!!), but once that is done it will be a relief too. That is, once it's done.

Update:
I still haven't heard ANYTHING from Knox College, what is really going on? Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I almost don't even want to go there anymore. They are playing games with me and I hate games. I'm about ready to settle and join "Redbird Country" lol.

I saw Mike George today! I was going in for work at The Buckle and he was in there. I don't think I've seen ol boy since high school, so it was a nice surprise. He's doing well in school (3.0 GPA) and he's going to Bethune-Cookman College in Daytona Beach. Lucky bum. I told him how lucky he was to be going to school in a good climate, and he said "It's hot down there!!" I said "So?? It's cold here. We just started getting consistent nice weather." Do you know what that N*gga said? "It gets cold in Florida too! We got down to 40 degrees!! And then we're by the water too, so we have the cold air coming off the water."

Okay dude. First of all, I know Florida is not getting colder than the Midwest. Second of all, you can't tell me NOTHING about cold air coming off of water until you spend a couple of winters in Chi-town. Bloomington Blackfolks done forgot where they came from. . .lol

Speaking of where I came from, (how many of ya'll know where this is going? :D), sitting here in the computer lab, I see this african guy walk in. (muahaahahahaaaa!) He looks around for an open computer, and I notice he is smiling HARD. I swear, this is the most hardcore smiling I've seen all day! He comes and sits right across from me, and for the first 5 minutes, we kept glancing at each other over our screens. When I feel his eyes on me, I literally have to fight not to look at him back, cuz then he'll see me and think that I'm just looking at him just to be looking, but I'm really only looking because he is. *phew* He has nice skin though, and very gentle eyes. . . ok, ima quit :D

I am still exhausted, but with the help of my Pepsi Vanilla and relieving some blog-worthy thoughts, perhaps I can work.

In Need of a Miracle

So, I just got done calculating what my GPA could be for this semester. This is not good my friends. Throughout the semester, I completely forgot that my scholarship wants me to maintain a 2.5 GPA each semester. I was going about, trying to do my best but I just gave up here at the end. I decided to drop out of my stats class. Not drop the class, like before the deadline, or even withdraw, nah, just decided to fail out of it. HOW COME NOBODY STOPPED ME????? I didn't know what the heck I was doing. At least if I would've stuck it out I could've gotten a D and that would've helped my GPA a little bit. But no. My guitar class, had lots of trouble with that too. Almost dropped out of it too, but I recently emailed the teacher and pretty much begged him to let me reconsider my decision. So there's hope for me to get a D out of that too. So, calculating best-case scenario, I'll either get a 1.7 or a 1.94.

The difference between the 2 depends on my interpersonal communications class. The teacher and I have a good bond, I've even given her marriage and parent counseling (you know how I do). If I can get my B to an A, I'll be that much closer.

Even still, a 1.94 isn't a 2.5!!!!! My hope is that they don't go by the semester GPA, but by the cumulative. If they go by the former, I will lose my scholarship!!!!

I'm in need of a miracle. I'm just going to pray, do my best to finish these last papers and projects, and trust in the Lord.

A part of me has peace about this. Getting worked up will not change my situation, it will only add more stress. Besides, I know everything happens for a reason and there may be a reason why I'm going through this.

Another part is beating me to a bloody pulp for being so STUPID and unfocused and not passing all 18 of those hours with at least a B. I should be able to do this. How could I be so incompetent? Especially with a SCHOLARSHIP on the line! DOOFUS...

The last part is telling me it's not fair. It's not fair that I have to work and go to school. It's not fair to have so much on my plate. It's not fair that I have to be a first generation college student, going about this thing so blindly. It's still my fault, but it's not fair!!!! How come nobody told me the things that could've helped so much (besides "that's way too many classes")?? whyyy :(

I'm trying to hold to the peaceful part of me. Nevertheless, I am in need of a miracle.

Conversations With Myself

conversations with self
one-way dialouge channeled into creativity
but noone hears waht I'm sayin
because they're not me
so I just
converse with myself
repeating the thought, repeating the thought, repeating the thought, repeating the thought
making the most of a minimalist
then I write it down
its like a list
and maybe format it
CAPITALIZE it as I prophecy it
making the most of a minimalist
noone but me can tell the difference,
which is why I converse with myself
needing to let go and just be
comfortable with me
from the color of my skin and my nappy hair
to my innermost desires and feelings felt when I find someone who cares
and noone but me really hears what I'm sayin
but I talk anyway,
having conversations with myself
repeating the thought, repeating the thought, repeating the thought, repeating it
making tedious dots of a minimalist
it's only me who's hearing this.
-Lyric

it was so considerate
and it meant so much to me
when she took out a stick of gum
and gave me half a piece

And even though at times she says
the most random, blonde-headed things
she listens when I talk

Back In The Day, When I Was Young- I'm Not a Kid Anymore, But Some Days I Sit and Wish I Was a Kid Again. . .

Recently, HumanityCritic did this GREAT post about childhood toys. I could relate with some of the toys, especially the BigWheel, but seeing as I'm probably at least 10 years younger than he is, I have a list of my own childhood toy memories. The late 80's/early 90's had so many good toys (even though I never got some of these, they bombarded Saturday Morning cartoons and my friends had some of them). . .

Klick Klacks
Or at least that's what we called them in Chicago. Man, this was one of the best toys I can remember. There was one stick in the middle, and on each side there was basically a triangle attatched to a ball. The goal was to move your hand up and down, and make the balls hit each other, making a "klick klack" noise. If you weren't good at it though, both triangles would just swirl around the stick and there was no klicking or klacking goin on.

Skip It
I wanted a Skip It sooooo bad!!!! I still remember the song "Skip It, Skip It. . The very best thing of all/Is there's a counter on the ball/So SkipIt! SkipIt!" You stick your foot in the little circle part, and then there's a stick (or a rope, depending on what version you had) with a ball on the end. You would make the apparatus swirl around your ankle and when the stick part would come to your foot, you'd have to jump up (skip) with that other leg so it wouldn't hit you. Yeeah, my SkipIt was a hula hoop. If you know what I'm talkin about, then skip on witcha bad self.

My Buddy/ Kid Sister
This is DEFINATELY 80's. My Buddy was the boy, and Kid Sister was the girl. Now that I think about it, they didn't do anything special, they didn't even look too cute, but MAN I wanted one. Maybe because they were marketed as that cool toy you could just take anywhere and actually kinda 'hang out' with. All the commercials showed the little girls playing tea party with Kid Sister, and the little boys outside chillin with My Buddy. They were pretty big, so that made them even more 'real' I guess. Also, at the time I didn't have a sister, but I wanted one, and what could've been better than Kid Sister???

Even though all those toys were great, and bring back great childhood memories, nothing beats a good ol' double dutch rope (a.k.a. clothesline lol).
"G-I- Gipsy, where she been? She been around the world and back again. . ."
"D-I-S-H/D-I-S-H-/D- for double dutch/I-for irish/S for single (?)/H-for hops. . ."
"12 times 12 is a hundred-forty four/When the bed breaks down you can do it on the floor. . ."

Jump rope rhymes and hand games, thats a whole nother post!

Silentium!
-Tyutchev

I found this song yesterday, and apparently it's a negro spiritual. When I read it, it literally brought tears to my eyes, because it captured the feelins of my whole day, and really of so many times in my life. My favorite is the second stanza. I have declared Silentium! as my anthem.

Silentium!

Speak not, lie deep, do not reveal
Things that you wish or things that you feel;
Within your soul's protected mine
Let them ascend and then decline,
Like silent stars in heaven bleak;
Admire their sheen-but do not speak.

How can a heart be put in words?
By others-how can one be heard?
Will people know what you live by?
A thought expressed becomes a lie.
Don't muddy springs that are unique:
Drink from their depth-but do not speak.

Live only in yourself encased;
Your soul contains a world of chaste,
Mysterious thoughts, which outside noise
Robs of their magic and destroys;
The rays of morning make them weak-
Enjoy their song but do not speak.

Poema

Married Man

Look at that
Married Man
Man, with no ring on his hand
Decieving
my mind into thinking
that he could be mine again.
But, he's a Married Man
Man, with no ring on his lovely hand
no wife on his arm
still possesing that charm
that I appreciated once he was gone.
That Married Man
Man, with no ring on his hardworking hand
man etched into my emotions,
sketched into my skin
man that I made love to
And yes that man is him
Yes, he
is
that Married Man
A Married Man with no ring on his hand.

Well Lift Me Up!

I went to this powerful motivational workshop today that has so far lifted me out of my dark phase. David Lewis, a poly sci instructor at my school led it, and he is so awesome! He talked about goal setting and tips to success.
Here is a recap/sneak peek into the workshop

"It is never too late to become what you might have been" -George Elliot

• Sometimes we hang on to the "If I woulda"'s, but we have to hold on to our present, not regret the mistakes and missed opportunities of our past and work to form our futures. As I always say, "You can't change your past, but you can always affect your future."

4 types of people to surround yourself with:

1. People who believe in you before you believe in yourself.
2. People who support you.
3. People who have your best interests at heart.
4. People who are optimistically positive.

• Concerning #4, David said that, "Nobody cares when you're having a bad day." This is true. People want to be around others who make them feel good, and can uplift them when they are having a hard time with life. In turn, you want people to want to be around you because people are a road to success. You can't go anywhere if nobody helps you get there (can I get an amen?)

Notes:

Concerning failure: There's nothing wrong with falling down, the crime comes when you stay down.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. (sounds a little cliche, but its true)

The laws of success are no respectors of person. (it doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, you can succeed)

Get good at what you do. There is no such thing as luck without hard work! Opportunity knocks on everybody's door, sometimes we just don't open it cuz it's disguised as hard work.

The workshop was so timely. I was going crazy and everything was getting to me, but now, I feel SO much better and ready to take life head on (at least for the rest of the semester).

*sigh*-that one is for relief.

ok, it's all about this 8 page paper that was due last Monday. WHY CAN'T I GET PAST PAGE 3??? I have writer's block to the extreme, and I blame it on one factor in my life:

Fear of Mediocrity

This, if not anything else, is the cause for 95% of my procrastination and inability to "reach my full potential". I loathe mediocrity. It is the hidden locust that buzzes its ugly song outside my window, mocking me, taunting me because it knows I can't find it, crush it, and bring an end to its song. Whatever I do (academically at least) I want it to be not only my best, but the best. In this english class, I want my paper to be better than anyone else's in the class. I want my teacher to think "This girl's got TALENT!!", and I want to feel that it's true.

However, once again, I find myself at this computer for hours making no progress.

On another note, I went to Chicago this weekend. I almost left Friday without packing any bags or telling anybody, following the spirit of a true vagabond, however all trains and busses had left town, and a sista was kinda broke anyway. . .

But Saturday, I went. Going to Chicago always puts me in a reflective mood, which especially helped because I was taking some pics for my photography class. I think about how different the CHI is from any other city I've been to. It truly has its own unique culture. My goal was to capture the essence of the hood. Why did I choose that? Because that's where I came from, that's my roots! Besides, the "ghetto" and the hood are some of the most misunderstood concepts among Americans of all colors. Most people never get to see the hood, so this is my present to them. It's like a presentation of that which is at the heart of me. But alas, I know they won't be provoked with the same feelings I get from it. Does that once again bring me back to that nadir of mediocrity?

*sigh*

Thursday Haiku

Forgot my guitar

And supplies for photo class.

'Nother day wasted.

Recap of the week:

Monday-Felt like I'd already been through the week, and needed a weekend. Finally remembered to send more paperwork to Knox. Bought a cool shirt at work for only $2 and enjoyed spending time with 2ra.

Tuesday-Got so caught up in classes and work that I missed a much-needed appointment with my advisor concerning graduation. Will I walk??

Wednesday- Thought I would have an emotional breakdown and spent the whole day fighting and swallowing tears, only to allow them to release in a flood as I drifted to sleep. Decided it was me against the world, so I'd better man-up.

Thursday- Woke up and laid in the bed for about an hour without moving. Decided not to take the much agonized over Stats exam and just fail the class. Gee, everyone thinks I have an attitude. Emotionally I feel cold as ice.

Dayum. Three weeks until the end of the semester, so much wasted time in that stats class. I got shafted when it comes to my teacher, some new guy who gets so excited about math that he forgets he's teaching a class of people who know nothing about stats. Over half the class has dropped, only 10 -15 people out of maybe 30 remain.

I'm watching how the stress of the end of the semester is taking a toll on myself and others. This is not what education is about. The stress is not from brain-overload of that learned; it is from chasing the grade, making sure all papers, projects, and other assignments are in, and are a reflection of everything supposedly learned throughout the semester. Final exams are a joke in themselves. All for the game of grades, but education, true education is not about grades. True education is about enligtenment and knowledge! Education is about empowerment! How can enlightenment be meausured solely by A's, B's, C's, D's and F's?? How can empowerment be placed on a GPA scale?? I suppose it would be too utopian to allow students to have a free mind, to explore ideas and academic solutions without the fear of what impact it would have on their 'grade'. Grades are a game and a joke. Students can 'earn' a grade in so many more ways that are contrary to the goal of education (higher education in specific) than they can by pursuing that which will open their minds. Does anybody see a problem with that??

GAWD.

Random Quote: "That which is reciprocated is often ill-recieved, much like vomit." -Lyric

Wednesday Haiku

Week almost over

"Hang in there" is what they say

Schoolwork is my noose

This next one goes out to all those students climbing that (rope) ladder of success.

*snap, snap, snap, snap*

Hang in There

You say,

"Hang in there"

Hang in where?

Hang in this,

the noose of defying that

ignorance is bliss?

I suffocate for air

as I "Hang in there"

dangling from that which I thought would enlighten me

only to suffer from the stress it brings.

"Hang in there"

Hang in where?

Hang in this

one thin branch on the side of that cliff?

first generation to take that leap

hanging here now,

they can't help me

"Girl, just hang in there"

Hang in where?

Hang by this

one fine thread of sanity

Just one strand, slowly unraveling

letting everything get the best of me

taking too much of a load, now my string is progressively breaking. . . .

If I let go I know I'm gonna fall hard

I hope the savior will catch me in his everlasting arms

And as I drift into what I know is the end

I pray he will revive me again.

But

looking at this rope, i guess i just forgot

it was meant for climbing, for hanging-not.

-Lyric