Ok, I changed my mind, I'm not going to write about Jeffery yet. Maybe later, maybe not. I'm in a melancholy mood right now. I had school and work today and was looking forward to having the house to myself this weekend, even though I would be busy. The first damper on that is that the car wouldn't start on Mama's way home from work, so it's currently in State Farm's parking lot. Which means I have to find a time to go and get it before Sunday, which means tomorrow, and I'm expecting to be busy all day tomorrow. I'm supposed to go over Emily's house and spend the night, but I'm tired now and don't really feel like it. But at the same time, I don't want to let her down because she was looking forward to it so much, and I'm always cancelling on my friends it seems like. Something always 'comes up'. I'm always busy or tired.

Dear Elizabeth,
How is life? I hope all is going well for you and that you are staying blessed. What's this about you feeling down? Why? What's the matter love? You say you're having a lot going on in your life right now, small amounts of time to manage and lots of things to fit in. I understand, life is just one of those things that never takes a break, even though we want to. Just keep going with it, your rest will come when you need it most. School isn't going as well as you would like? Girl, you're getting one C, all the rest are A's and B's-what's wrong with you? You haven't made grades this good in a while, you should be proud of yourself. You made it out of high school and now you're in college and succeding! It seems like only yesterday you were in Whistler Elementary school, back on the south side of Chicago, one of the smartest kids in your grade. That intelligence has always been in you Elizabeth, even when you didn't realize it. School came easy to you then, but college is different. If you make B's by doing what you're doing now, step it up a bit and those A's that you want will become your reality. And what is upsetting you about your poetry? What makes you feel like it's not as good as others'? Let me tell you something, poetry is art, and that's something you can't judge and critique on a universal scale. Your poetry is not the same as anybody else's. You don't write Zi's poetry, you don't write Ju's poetry, you don't write KB's poetry, you write Elizabeth's poetry. What can you compare it to? Poetry is unique to the individual, and only you can understand the special meanings behind each of your poems, keep that in mind. Don't compare your work to anyone else's, you are not them. Just keep doing what you do, remember, your poetry is for you (hey, that rhymed). Anyhow, I know that you know that you need to stop this holding back stuff. Yes, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You're holding back your praise and worship for God, you're holding back on your studies, you're even holding back on having fun. What's this all about? Do you know why you're holding back? because you are afraid to fall. Afraid to get hurt. Most of all, afraid to fail. But I think that you will find that the joy, excitement, and fulfillment you get from giving life your all will be worth the few 'bruises' (physical or not) that you may get. Try it for a while, you won't want to go back. Keep your head up. Reach for the stars love, "who are you not to achieve?" You are still at the beginning of your Journey, and you have a long way to go so don't give up yet. You are loved and needed, don't forget that.
Much love,
eliz