Trabajadora, Estudiosa, Diligente...

Lately I've been thinking about school and my education. Thinking about how I want to be this hardworking, studious person, pulling A's in all my classes, gaining a wealth of knowledge. Thinking about how I'm not doing any of that.
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So anyway, I'm thinking I need some help. I don't know why I keep piling so much on my plate that I can't handle. Someone told me once it's because that's what I like to do. I thought she was crazy, but her explanation made sense. When I'm bored and have nothing to do, I hate it. It's like I have no purpose, nothing to live for. But when I'm busy busy busy, life is exciting, always something to do (whether I want to do it or not). I've also found that the more I have to do, the more I actually get done (percentage-wise). When I don't have anything to do, and something comes up it has a lesser chance of getting done. (did that make sense?) I have 2 big tasks coming up. 1 is writing the Easter play for church. OK, Easter is like 2 weeks away, and we're just finding out we don't have a play. The same one that we've been doing for like five years is missing, which is fine because it's getting kinda played out. So genius me comes up with a concept for a new play, something contemporary mixed with traditional, sure to be a House of Prayer hit. But that's it, all I want to provide is the concept, I don't want to write the play. I'm an actress, not a playwright! My passion is the stage. Too bad for me, because the task is now in my hands.

The second thing is a praise dance. I'm the captain of the praise dance team and we need a new dance. Not only do we need a dance for Sunday (since we dance every first Sunday), but we need a new dance for Easter. That means I have to pick out a song and come up with some moves, while I'm working on this play (which needs to be done this week), and manage to keep up with my studies that I am slowly being buried under.

Added stress: I have a math test tomorrow. This is bad because I have been really slacking in that class, no joke. This new chapter we're working on, I don't even know what it's about! I am so lost, and since I'm lost I haven't bothered to pay attention in class. I've been telling myself I'm gonna study for it outside of class, I'm gonna learn it on my own. Yeah, that's been for like 2 weeks and now the test is right in my face, what am I going to do??

Why do I do this to myself?