Tuesday, September 19, 2006

This feeling is like being dressed in white cotton, running through a field with my arms wide-open in a fabric-softener commercial. And I love it :D

I haven't been posting too much lately. It's not that I don't want to, or that I have nothing to say, cuz these days LOTS has been on my mind. I just haven't been posting too much lately, no apologies made.

As of late, I have been enjoying and experiencing life in this strange way. Perhaps I'm getting close to Nirvana.
-Buddhism. The ineffable ultimate in which one has attained disinterested wisdom and compassion.
-Hinduism. Emancipation from ignorance and the extinction of all attachment.

-A place or state characterized by freedom from or oblivion to pain, worry, and the external world.

There is something too, about a freedom from desire, and I haven't got there yet. A sista stil tryin' to get her shop on lol. But really, I feel like I am learning how to master this life thing. How to manipulate my surroundings and even my mentality to maximize the joy and satisfaction I get out of life. I'm learning how to roll with the punches as they say. Almost like riding a horse. At first it was bumpy and awkward at times, even hard and jerky. But when you learn how to ride, rock your body, and flow with it, you still get the same bumps and jerks but you learn how to take them in stride.

I am mastering this flow. I still have many many tricks to learn and places and situations to explore, but instead of being timid and apprehensive, I am ready to take them on with confidence.

I love looking over my life and reflecting on my personal development. I went from an extremely shy and timid little girl to a confident and successful young woman. Amazing!!!

I love enjoying my extremely busy days. I finally came to the realization last week that I am doing. the. damn. thang!!! I didn't even know. I had to give myself a "you go girl" pat on the back cuz I am managing to hold it DOWN, and hey, somebody gotta give me my props, might as well be me.

I'm loving it, no doubt. I mean, I still have my share of struggles, but I'm just letting them build me and make me stronger instead of pushing me into the ground. It has been a bit difficult these past couple of weeks, no lie. I've done my best to keep myself up and sustain my peace on my own. I'm dealing with emotional and physical struggles as they come, and I can stand, balanced on two feet, with both arms in the air, face pointed towards the sun.

I'm loving it.