Wednesday, February 06, 2008

What the Hell Man??

I keep having these pregnant dreams. I had one a few nights ago and last night seemed to be a continuation. The dream was eerie in that there were no strange, "what are you doing in my dream", unexpected characters, and everything was pretty realistic. There wasn't much dialouge, but mostly a lot of thoughts.

I dreamt that I was pregnant, only I didn't know I was pregnant. I started going into labor at home by myself. I didn't have time to call anybody because the baby started coming so quickly. Plus, I couldn't find my phone. Even though I didn't know I was pregnant beforehand, I definately knew that this was a baby about to be born, and I treated it all very matter-of-factly.

There was no, "Where did this baby come from?" I just knew I was having a baby. I delivered it myself and wrapped it up. I looked into her face, she was dark and beautiful. Then, I didn't know if I should feed it right then, or if I should wait, or how long I should wait. I was thinking that the baby is probably hungry. . .right? Should I stick my boob into its mouth?

I set the wrapped up budle of joy (?) on the kitchen counter as I looked for my cell phone. I didn't want to hold her, because I thought I could find it faster if I had both hands. Who should I call first? Don't I need to go to the hospital or something? I should call my mother, she'll be so surprised to have a granddaughter. Or maybe I should call Therese, she just had a baby a couple of months ago. She'll know what to do too. Yes, I'll call Mama and Therese. Gawd, where is my cell phone? Maybe I should go next door and ask my uncle to use his phone. What if he's not home? Should I take the baby out in the cold or leave her here? Never needed a house phone until now. . .

I picked the baby up again, held her in my arms and just looked at her. "Hello baby" I said. Then I realized that my baby had no name. Oh shoot, I have to name you. What's that girls name I had in mind before? Do I have to name you right now, or can I wait? Maybe Tura can help me come up with some ideas. It has to be something good, I mean, a name follows you forever. I don't want my baby to hate her name.

The father should help me name her. The father!? Ohhhh yeah, this baby must have a father. It must be Adrien. Maybe I should call him first, I mean, he is the father. I wonder what he will think. Wait, what month did I get pregnant?? This is February so. . . .May? I wonder if it was before or after graduation. Have I drank since then? We have a daughter now, what a trip. This will tie us together forever.

The dream ended with me thinking that I should have saved a little more money from my last check. A baby needs stuff.