Tuesday, December 30, 2003

It's Almost 2004!

So I'm online now (of course) and I'm talking to Larry. I swear, that boi really needs some new friends. The ones he hangs out with now all smoke alot of weed and drink, and he doesn't do any of that. So WHY does he hang out with them??? I don't really get it.

Some guy asked me for my number today. He was from Chicago (South Side, yes, yes) and he comes down to visit his family who lives here. First his uncle was talkin to me, asking me how old I was, where did I work and go to school and such, just general convo. Then he was saying "Yeah, my nephew over there is 18 too." I'm looking at him like okaaay, yeah, that's nice. Then he was sayin "Maybe you could give him your number so when he comes in town he can have somebody to chill with." Now normally, I would have shot this down with a straight up bogus rejection. But, I talked to the nephew, and he seemed cool. I figured, "what the hey, I'll give him the math and if he wants to call, fine with me" I gave him the digits, we'll see.

Anjelica left yesterday. I tell ya, it's really good to have a friend that you've know for almost your whole life. She left her CD's here. Yay for me, not so bueno for her. But, until I send them to her, I'll be jammin to some Smokie Norful, Floetry, and such. yah....

I'm not sure who Takira is...
I was messing with my hair today. Gah. There has to be something I can do with it. I seriously have been thinking about going bald, or super short. I just don't think I can pull that off though. But seriously, I've been thinking about making a change.

They say that people naturally resist change, but lately I feel like I need a big change in my life. Not just in my physical appearance, but in my life in general. Its time for something new. And, I don't think this is just one of those New Year's things, nah, I need a change for real.

Monday, December 29, 2003

I was thinking, and one thing I really wanted this year was to be kissed under some mistletoe. I don't know why, it just seems like such an ideal thing. So sweet, so Christmasy, *sigh*. But alas, no kiss, not even under mistletoe.

My body hurts. My back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my feet hurt, even on the top of my feet! How does that work? I am too young to feel this old!

Tura and Son' had a good laugh with me at my guitar playing skills. See, the thing is, I can't really play my guitar. I can play with it, but I guess that doesn't really count for much huh? I can't wait though, until I learn how to really play it well. I am gonna be one baaaad mamma jammma.

I need some serious help with my hair. Serious. I can't do anything with it! I'm thinking of locking it....Can you picture me with dredlocks? People have been telling me lately that I would look good with them. I dunno, that's a lot of commitement, I must think about it much more. Until then, I really need to get it cut. But, until I do that, it's the same old same old.....

Friday, December 26, 2003

Man, I don't know what the heck happened to the last half of my last blog, but I'm mad because that was the best part of it. Although I typed in English, somehow the last part got encrypted to some strange charachters. Anhow, I was just saying how Anjelica's gonna be coming down tomorrow, and it'll be good to see her. I haven't seen her since summer of 2002, which doubled as the summer of detasseling and the summer of Scotland. Just thinking about Scotland and London gets me all nostalgic feeling...
Today Sonia called me, telling me about a 'girl's night out' she was having with Tura and some other friends. They invited me to come, but alas, I declined. I really wanted to go, yes, and I can't help but to think what they must be doing now, but being as broke as I am, I probably don't need to be having any fun. Anyway, sorry ladies, maybe next time?...

I saw Larry today again, we chatted for a bit. He asked me to go to dinner with him! Now, I didn't really hear what he had said, but I knew he had mentioned something about buying me food, or something along those lines. I was saying that would be cool, but I had to go back to work and he said
"You actually would?"
"Would what?"
"You would actually go to dinner with me?"
"Oh...Yeah, sure, why not?"
'Cool, we'll have to do that sometime"
What in the heezee have I gotten myself into? LOL
I found out how to get to my archives!! I'm so happy now I can go back and read over things like my madness with Lamont and my ever so popular Taffy Apple Blog. Yay me!

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas!!
Christmas is such a nice holiday. It's the only time when people as a whole feel obligated to be nice, simply because of the Christmas season.
Presents were good this year, I got everything I wanted. I only really wanted one thing which was this hoodie from Aeropostale. Aero really isn't my style, but it was a guy's one and it was soooooo cute!! Sonia got that for me, I am more than grateful. I also got a cell phone (finally). My grandmother got that for me, I was soooo excited!! The only thing is, it's a prepay and, well, lets say its more trouble than its really worth. We'll see what happens with that.

I got my grades the other day. LOL. Well, I did better than I thought I did, but my GPA is still dreadfully low. I thought I was gonna fail Engl. 101, but I got a D. Ok, yes a D is still failing pretty much, but I didn't even turn in my portfolio! I only actually wrote one paper in the class, so I guess the teacher didn't give me a flat out F because I do have skills, I just didn't do the work. I pulled a C in Psych, not the best but I was concerned I might not pass that. Of course I got an F in Business, that was absolutely no surprise. That was the most hoorible class ever. I got B's in both Math and Religion. So, yea the grades were pretty much bad, but I am psyched about next semester!

I am ready to have some fun. Just downright act a fool fun. This whole break all I've been doing is working and sleeping pretty much (more of the latter). The only time I've gotten to see mis amigos is at work, wassup with that?? So, I really need to go, get together with los amigos and celebrar.....

Cool People of the Day:
Sonia-For getting me that hoodie. You know how much I wanted that! Thank you a hundred times over my friend! I love you!
G-Pat-Thanks for the cellie! I was so excited, what an unexpected gift. You have always been a good gift-giver!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Is it just me or is there nothing to do online? I get online, IM some people, and if noone's on I read blogs. That's it. With something as vast and endless as the internet, there should be something interesting to do.
It's 2:30 and I've stayed in the bed all day. I was figuring a little R&R would help me recover, but I still feel hoorible. I feel worse today than I have in a long time. I think I should actually go to the doctor, but they never find anything and then they just give you medication basically just for coming. I've had a fever all day. I don't know what's wrong with my thermometer, because for some reason everytime I try to use it, it tells me my temperature is 95-96 degrees. Not quite accurate... I mean 98.5 is normal right? I have this strange headache and I can't seem to open my eyes all the way, and they keep watering.

Anyhow, despite my sickness, I am still doing stupid things.
Today the phone rings.
"Hey Love!! What you doin' today?" (Ah, Kandra from work. What does she want? Why kid myself? I know what she wants)
"Ummm, well, nothing really"
"Oh, ok, cuz I was looking at the schedule and I am working by myself from 4:30-6:30 and so I was wondering if you could come in a little early?"
Of course my stupid self said yes. I don't even wanna go to work at my scheduled time, let alone early. Why do I continually do this to myself? Because I need the money.
At the end of the conversation she said
"Thank you so much!! I love you!" -Yah, well as my mother always says, love don't pay the bills.

Monday, December 22, 2003

"Have a happy Christmas and a merry day!!"
Sooo, I'm thinking about changing my blog template again. Perhaps I should wait until I can get on a computer where I can see colors properly, since my computer is jacked up.

My head hurts, my sinuses are acting up, and I feel so sickly. Work today was....well, it was work.

I was just thinking about this tape (yes, it was a cassete tape, you know that was back in the day) that I used to have called Rappin Rabbit. LOL. He was a rabbit that rapped about God and stuff. It might sound silly, well, it was silly, but his rhymes were pretty catchy. I still remember them from all those years ago.
"Rappin with rappin rabbit
is a Christian habit
and its fiddly diddly fun too"

Be a Good Sport was about not being a sore looser.

"Be a good sport, and enjoy the game
Be a good sport
Be a good sport, you'll be glad you came
Be a good sport
Never get mad, just be nice
Imitate the traits of Jesus Christ
Play your best....
Be a good sport!!"

One of my personal favorites is Faith

I can believe in faith
Faith is wonderful thing
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for in conditions of things not seen
That may be hard to say
But Hebrews eleven one (11:1) says it that way
I can believe in faith
Faith in God above"

Buen times indeed. Rappin Rabbit. Hah.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

"Christmas is not about getting, its about recieving"
Lol, did I miss something??

Feliz cumpleanos a mi amiga Sonia! Hoy tiene diez y nueve anos!!! Vieja...

I am watching Kim Possible right now, (not by choice) and they keep using all these strange ebonic words like 'fa shizzle' and 'off the heezee' Why??? I've also noticed that lately I've been saying 'what the heezee'. I'm not exactly sure where that came from, seeing as I didn't ever say it when it was "in". Strangeness.

I was reading blogs today and I found a link to this ridiculous website. I don't know what to think.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

"Our time and our color gotta coordinate..."

CP time, in case you all are not familiar with that. It stands for colored people time, explaining why for some strange reason, black people are often late, and rarely start things on time. If it's supposed to start at 4:00, it'll probably begin around 4:30 or so. I don't know why that is.

Anyhow, today I feel like shiznit (pardon my french-ebonics). I am sooo sick. My chest hurts like somebody is sitting on it, my voice is all raspy and I have a headache and a strange dry cough. Not coolness at all.

So, while I am at home today, trying to relax and take care of my ailing body, my job calls. Tell me why these fools ask me to come in to work. WHY OH WHY???? And tell me why I came in. I dragged my sick body in to work, was miserable, and left early anyway. Now what purpose did that serve? I guess I'll just have a few extra dollars on the next check.

Everyone is home from break!! It is so exciting to see everyone from high school again. I was at work the other day, and I saw Angela!!! I was so excited, I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. Angela and I used to be really tight, we were inseperable. You saw Angela, you saw me. We drifted apart over the years. Majorly apart, but no matter what, she will always be a special person to me.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I absolutely love egg nog. It is one of the best drinks, and it's really sad that it is only around during the Christmas season. Although I love it so, I do have a problem with egg nog. It rips my stomach up!! Wooh man, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I only drank one glass of it at a time, but it's so good, I just have to keep going, and I always give myself a stomachache. So I was thinking "hmmmm, I wonder if they have soy egg nog..." I love soymilk as well, and I was thinking if they have soy egg nog, that would just be great. My mother, of course, looked at me like I was sick and crazy when I told her about it, She basically was like "What kind of sick drink would soy egg nog be?" Nevertheless, a month later, she comes home with some, and yes, it is all for me. *sigh* such joy comes with so called "SilkNog". I can drink it and drink it, and I know that I have no fear of a bellyache, and on top of that, it has that slight taste of soymilk. Lucky me, I get the best of both worlds!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

I wish I knew the link to my archives. Its making me quite upset, I thought I'd be able to figure it out, but I haven't been.

Anyhow, I was thinking "Hmmm, what interesting and thought provoking thing can I talk about?" I don't really know. Ahh, I do know.

Let me talk about Mike. I don't read his blog often, but every now and then I like to see what idiodic things he has to say. He seems like the type of person who is quite smart and intelligent, but doesn't have the best social skills. Perhaps he is one who thinks more people like him than really do, or maybe he knows they don't like him, but he tells himself he is ok with that. But hey, I don't know the kid so I really can't say. I found his last post most interesting and a bit immature to say the least. He basically says "Oral sex is gross, because that's where pee comes out of. Ewwwww" He even goes on to say "Seriously, if any chick gave me a blow job, i would never kiss them again." I must say, spoken like a true virgin. I mean, yes, I can completely understand where he is coming from. However, the way he presents that idea is so.....Junior High-ish. Even underclassman in highschool-ish. Even beyond that, I find many of the things he says as just non-sensical ramblings that he tries to make funny and sarcastic. I just get shake my head and wonder why whenever I read his blogs. Okay, Okay, maybe he is still in high school. Maybe his mind has yet to mature through experience. If so, he is forgiven. If not, he has some explaining to do.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Ahhhh, it's been so long. Where do I begin??? Well, I am done with school of course, no homework, no tests, no studying no nada!!!! sweeetness indeed.

Now I have a problem. I have nothing to do!!! Since my days are not busied with school and school things, I have nothing to do until I go to work or church. I've been spending all my time shopping and, well, shopping. When the Christmas season is over, then what??? Woe is me. Whatever shall I do??

I can't really sort out my feelings enough to really blog, so I think this shall be short. Sonia's birthday is coming up, she'll be 19. I have no idea what to do for her b-day. I also don't know what to get her for Christmas, isn't that sad? She is my best friend and I don't even know what to get her. I have just about everyone else's present though.

Friday, December 12, 2003

I should just go to bed
I tried to tell myself that I'd start going to bed by 12:00 every night. That lasted for about a week. I'm tired now, but I must tell of my accomplishments for the day. We've had this computer desk for like, 6 months. It's the kind that has to be assembled. I guess noone had time or ever felt like doing it, but today I finally did it. Mama said that her friend had the same kind and it took her and her daughter 5 hours to put it together. Well, I'm not sure what kind of handicap they have or whatever, but it only took me like 2 hours by myself, and that was with doing stuff in between. It looks really good, it's wood with a black top. It matches perfectly with the living room decor. It is bigger than the table we had it on before, so I also had to do some rearranging/redecorating. It felt really good. One thing that I'm mad at though is this little computer that Symone is trying to hang on to. Grr. Anyhow, the living room looks really nice and I feel good about that. It kinda off sets my bad feelings about school. Okay, tonight I shoud be in bed by 2. I shall!!

Thursday, December 11, 2003

They say I'm hopless....
As a penny with a hole in it

Yeah, that's how I feel, just plain hopeless. I have done so badly in school this semester. I am so ashamed of my performance, because I know that I can be a straight A student, for real. I could be pullin a 4.0 gpa right now, but I'm not. My gpa is nowhere near 4.0. I just can't believe what I've done to myself. I feel so defeated. Part of me wants to never go back to school. Just give up. But then I know that I'll never make anything of my life. Part of me wants to take a semester off, or maybe even a year. But I hate that. I hate when people take time off of school for no reason. What would my reason be?? To 'clear my head'? No, my head is clear enough, just a bit unfocused though. Part of me wants to take next semester by the neck and wring all A's out of it. Yes, that is what I want to do, and that is what I shall do. No matter what it takes. If I have to quit my job, then so-be-it because my education is a top priority. I'll say it's number 2 on my list. Number one is of course, God and my spiritual life. Number 3 is work/money. High on the list, yes, but not more important than my education. So, I'm trying not to dwell too much on my failure in school, because the way I see it, the semester is over now, and there is nothing at all that I can do about it, so why worry. Why even bother to dwell on it? It will do me no good.

But, next semester, it's on like a pot of neckbones, in the early morn', till the break of dawn, oh, I could go on and on.... (= Cuz, really, it ain't no thing but a chicken wing on a string from Burger King that sings on a swing, know what I mean??

I haven't seen Kalvin. I want too. I wish he'd come right now and sit at the computer next to me, and play some games. Then I'd talk to him, find out his real name and some other stuff about him. I have it all planned out....

I made a peach cobbler!! Peach cobbler is absolutely one of my favorite foods and I made one yesterday. My grandmother taught me how the last time she came down. (She always makes me peach cobbler) I kinda remembered how to do it, I had bought the ingredients, and yesterday I was like eh, why don't I make it now. It was funny, I didn't really know how much to put of what so I'd be like "Hmm, I think I remember vanilla *shrug* *pour*. Nutmeg?? yeeea, there was some of that *shrug* *dash dash*. Hmm, how thin should the crust be? Um, maybe a little more milk in that *eyebrow raise* *pour*.
Anyhow, it turned out really good, and I can't wait to make another one. Knowing me, I'll probably be making one like, every week. lol. Ridicoulous. Maybe I should give everybody peach cobbler for Christmas. I mean, it's a heck of a lot better than fruitcake. Ok, I think I have said enough, even though I have so much more to say, but I don't want to tire youall's eyes out.
I know now what I'm getting 5 of my friends for Christmas. I have covered Ali, KaReisha, Therese, Ash and Martina (that's right, Martina, I'm gonna get you something. Don't be surprised to see your name). I have soooo much more to go. I don't know what to get my mother or sister. hm. I sold back some of my books today and so I have a little bit of money to spend, I'm gonna go shopping tomorrow. I hope Son' can come with me!!

I guess I really didn't have that much more to say huh?
I'm mad at that...
I think I should start having a "I'm mad at that" section of my blogs, because there's a lot of things I find myself saying that about. Today it was the radio. This has been on my mind for a while, but I always forget to blog about it. It's the song 'Suga, Suga' No, not Suga suga, aww honey honey, you are my candy girl...... The new one, Suga suga how'd you get so fly.... I'm mad at that song because lyrically, it makes no sense at all.

You got me lifted, shifted, higher than the ceiling
and ooh wee its the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Suga how'd you get so fly?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know its leather when we ride
Wood grain and raw hide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Girl you keep it so fly with your sweet honeybuns
You was there when the money gone,
You'll be there when the money comes

Rawhide??? What does rawhide have to do with 'suga' being so fly? The lyrics to this song make absolutely no sense, I think they just put stuff in there to make it rhyme and sound good. Now, the song does indeed sound good, it has a great beat and the singer has a great voice. But, as you can see, lyrically it sucks. I'm mad at that.

Another thing I'm mad at is my breath. Oooooweee, it is kickin, I don't even want to talk to my own self. I don't know what I did or didn't do to make it this way, but please don't let me do it again.

Tomorrow I will be done with school until January 13 or so. *Tears of joy and elation* I'm so happy!! Relief and release.

My friend is pregnant. That forces me to shake my head. *shakes head*

Okay, now I must go and continue pulling an all-nighter (my second one this week) and study for my psych test. Can somebody get me some NO-DOZE for Christmas?.... My mother says not to take it, something like its a form of narcotics and it can be addictive.... I said "sweeeet!" and she gave me a look like "Not funny Elizabeth. Not funny at all." Well, I laughed.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Can somebody anybody tell me why I wait until the last minute, even though I know it will get me nowhere. I waited to do my Religion assignments until last night. They were due today. Good news is, I got them all done!!! Yay me!! Bad news is, I didn't go to bed until 6am. *Yawn* I am tired, yes. I don't actually feel like I'm making alot of sense either. Gah, I never want to do this again. I swear there are swirly things moving on this screen....

Anyhow, this morning (after about an hour of sleep) I finally managed to roll out of bed. I was supposed to be out of the house by 7 to go to my 8:00 final, but I can't really leave at 7 if I get out of bed at like, 7:20. Soooo, I asked Mama for a ride. Why is it that whenever you are in a hurry, parents take forever?? Mama decided that after I asked her for a ride that she needed to take a shower. I'm like d00d, its 7:30 and if I wanna be on time I have to leave by at least 7:45. gah. So she takes a shower and all that stuff and we finally left. I was late to my final, yes, but I didn't care. It went pretty well, I know I'll pass the class, so hey.

Me and Sonia finally came to a consensus on Kevin's name. His name is Kalvin. hmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it as it did last night. See, we were talkin and we decided that we need to combine the names Kevin and Kyle. Sooo, I'm like hmmm "Kevyle" LMBO! we both started bustin up! So, no that one didn't work. Then (I am so funny) I was like Kylevin (no, that wasn't funny, but yes, I am funny). Hmmm, kinda sounds funky, but eh, its a lot better than Kevyle right? We were thinking, Kylevin, kinda sounds like Calvin. But, we must spell it with a K because he is simply a K person. So, Kalvin it is. Aww, Kalvin, he is so cute. I think he has dimples. cute litttle dimples.... *shifty eyes* there goes that tiredness again.

Monday, December 08, 2003

I thought of this poem this morning while riding the bus to class. Enjoy.

Early morning bus
Going to school and work bus
Quiet bus, too early for conversation bus
I'm about to start my day bus

Afternoon bus
Out of school bus
Kids got nothing to do bus
Chatty, friendly place bus
Going along with the day

Evening bus
Just got off of work bus
So tired, wish I could put my feet up bus
What I gotta do when I get home bus
The day slowly comes to an end

Nighttime bus
Not many riders bus
We must all head home now
Tomorrow we run again.
Strange Feelings
I just got done reading Tura's blog and she was listening to India. Arie's "Good Man". That song always makes me want to cry, India.'s music always has an impact on me.

If the sun comes up, and I'm not home
be strong
If I'm not beside you, do your best to
carry on
Tell the kids about me when they're old enough to
Tell them that their daddy was
a good man

(this part really gets me)
Two eyes
Up at me
To a picture like where is he
Mamma are you OK
And what did the paper say
To make you cry that way
It said your Daddy lived for you
And your daddy died for you
And I'll do the same

*deep breath* Alright, I'm okay. See, now Tura's got me bumpin India. Arie at 12 somethin in the mornin. Eh, anytime's a good time for India..... Something about her music just makes me want to sing, pray, play the guitar and be in love at the same time.

This week is finals week. Gah, it came way too fast, I'm so not ready. Tomorrow I have my math final, which should be easiest of all. I'll be done with that at like 9 something, so I'll have the rest of the day to work on my Religion assignments which are due on Tuesday. I really want next semester to be 100% better than this one was. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am letting my brain power and intellect go to waste.

Hm, I wonder if I'll see Kevin when I go to school tomorrow.

I am trying not to let my financial situation get to me. I need money, but I have none. Ok, I have some, but not as much as I need. Ok, maybe I don't need it, but I want it very badly. I have some expenses that are not being met and its not a very comfortable situation. I wish that I could get a second job over break because with all the people they just hired at Claire's, I'm not gonna get more than probably 20 hours a week. Someday, my appointed time to leave there will come, and then I'll go somewhere else and hopefully make mad bank. Until then, I'll be piercing ears and such.

Martina-I can't wait to get your letter. Don't be mad if it takes me a while to get one back to you.

Tura-I am glad you have come back to ole' blogger. I missed you! When are we gonna hang out??

Sonia-You know I know that "nothing" is not the answer to the question I keep asking you. But fine, whatever. By the way, its KEVIN!

Australian Kid-It's so cool that you wrote about me in your blog!! But, uh, I'm not sure what 'farnie' means....

*yawn* I think I shall go to bed now.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

Unfocused Poem-ette

Where is my mind
The thoughts I can't find
I need to unwind
But I can't find the time

My thoughts float in my head like a feather in the wind
Wandering, aimless, no beginning or end
I try to capture the thoughts, but to no avail
They keep floating and drifting, like a ship with no sail
I was watching the ole telly today and I saw a couple of videos that made me think. This one song said something like:
"I'm the candyman, I got mo than just frozen juice cups"
Let me tell you now, this video was keeping it real, ghetto fab style. On the candy man line, it shows the rapper opening his refrigerator and its filled with frozen juice cups. You know, like, Kool-Aid frozen in a little paper cup. If that's not ghetto....But, it really brings back memories of my childhood. The song in general was about him being a drug dealer, hence, having more than just frozen juice cups. And, I'm not exactly sure why frozen juice cups would be in his refreigerator....wouldn't they kinda.....melt?

Then, what is up with Pharell? I'm sorry, but there is just something about him that is so cute. The boy just has something about him. It's not that he looks so cute, because he's not all that great looking, but there's something about his personality that makes you want him to say "come here girl..." which is when you would turn into putty. His rock/hip hop image really works for him too. What brotha do you know who has an asian guy as a sidekick, skateboards, and sings hip-hop music, and makes tight beats? Only Pharell can pull that one off.

Ah, now there is Kevin. At least, that's what I call him. Really, I don't know his name yet. Ok, let me start at the beginning of the story.
Yesterday Sonia came out to U of H with me, in between my classes. We were in the bookstore and we saw this guy. Immediately our nonverbal communication kicked in. I looked at her with a look that said "Hey, look at that guy. Cute huh?" She responded back with eyes that said "Yeeeeah, mmph, not bad at all" So, then he was talking to one of the salespeople at the bookstore and Sonia said (with words this time) "Oh, he has a soft voice too." Well, she didn't know at the time, but he heard her say that. He kinda gave a little look after she said that, kinda just like "hm" but nothing too noticeable. But I noticed. On his way out, he gave me a little look and nicely held the door for me. When I told Son' that he heard her say that, she was flippin out. "Awwww man, I can't believe he heard me! Awwwww" Heh. So aaaaanyway, I saw him again later that night. He was at Wal*Mart with who I believe must have been his mom. I woulda talked to him too, but he was talkin to his mom.

I have told myself that next time I see Kevin, I'm gonna talk to him. By the way, me and Son' can't come to an agreement on what his name is. We both agree though that it starts with a K. Kevin (my pick), Kyle (Son's pick). Only time will tell what Kevin's name really is.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

This was cool
you are lavender

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
Today I'm skipping the last day of my Religion class to finish up my Psychology work. There is a phrase, stealing from the *something* to give to the *something*. I don't know what the somethings are, but I feel like that's what I'm doing.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

This is an excellent paper I wrote sometime last year
Procrastination: Why Do We Do It?

Procrastination is defined as the avoidance of a task that needs to be done. Procrastination can be found from small occurrences such as waiting to buy a birthday present the day before the party, to bigger instances, like barely making the deadline of an important project at work or school. No one particularly likes procrastinating, so why do we do it so often? The basis for procrastination usually lies in fear, disorganization or simply, boredom (University of Cambridge 1.). Procrastination is a serious problem and the only way it can be fought is by knowing what the source of it is and taking the necessary steps to prevent it.
Disorganization is one of the main sources of procrastination; however there are different types of disorganization. Absentmindedness can be a serious problem for some who think they can remember several issues with ease, because they feel that they have healthy memories, which may not be the case. Also, not being able to prioritize effectively can create a build up of work that can seem impossible to handle, thus enticing one to postpone the chore until a later time. Lastly, poor time management, which goes hand in hand with misprioritization, is probably the most common type of disorganization that leads to procrastination (Queck 1.). It is quite feasible for one to set deadlines and not meet the deadlines that are preset.
For some, boredom is the leading precondition to procrastination (Queck 1.). At times, people are forced to do tasks that simply do not interest them, which leads them to postpone the task to a later time, perhaps until they "feel like" doing it. The problem is, if there is no interest, they will never have the desire to get things done. People have a tendency to avoid things that do not hold their attention, and many do not have the self-discipline to do the work despite the lack of interest. Also, having hostility toward the person who assigned the task or toward the subject can cause one to lose interest in the project.
Perfectionism is not something most people would think of as a source of procrastination, but it is not uncommon. One may think that perfectionism may make a person more likely to do a certain task, do it well and on time, but this is not always so. The perfectionist's reason for procrastinating is usually fear of failure. The desire to constantly do things perfectly can cause one to set too high and sometimes unobtainable goals. Though the perfectionist has set these goals, she may have a fear of not being able to complete the task to her demanding standards and in turn, she does not complete or even initiate the task.
Knowing some of the sources of procrastination can prevent it from happening. If a person is disorganized in one way or another, she needs to develop better organizational skills; perhaps starting with an appointment book to write down what needs to be done and the steps needed to accomplish the task. Time needs to be scheduled to do what needs to be done and make sure all resources are at hand. If necessary, the tasks can be broken down into smaller, more manageable pieces and handled accordingly. Those who suffer from boredom simply must force themselves to do the task at hand just to get it done and move on to other tasks. Procrastination is not going to get the task done, and the longer one waits, the worse the person will feel about the task. Lastly, the perfectionist needs to understand that not everything can be done to the utmost perfection. Perfectionists must realize what they are capable of and set their standards and expectations to that, and not to unrealistic goals (University of Cambridge 1.). Perfection is usually unobtainable anyhow.
Procrastination, whether in the form of disorganization, boredom, or perfectionism, can be overcome. The first step is to observe one's actions and find out why she procrastinates. If she procrastinates because of disorganization, she must become organized. If the reason is boredom, she must simply push herself to do the task at hand. If perfectionism is the source of her procrastination, she must learn to set realistic goals that can be reasonably reached. The only way one can rise above procrastination is to realize the problem, acknowledge it, and change habits so that it will no longer control one's life.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Puhrrrrraise tha Laaaawwwwd!!
I am so frickin happy. Last night I was stressin about my paper so bad, it was hoorible. The Lord told me not to totally wear myself down, so after much deliberation (and after only getting about a page of my paper done) I went to bed. I decided, I can't worry about it anymore. So I didn't. I went to Psych class and my paper is gonna be due on Thursday! Yes, I am rejoicing. God really shows me favor.

But, I must leave now and catch the bus to go home. And work. :) Much love.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Sweetest thing I've ever known
Lauren Hill says "Sweetest thing I've ever known, is like a kiss on the collar bone"
Eh, yah, that's pretty sweet, but I only half way agree. I think kisses themselves are the sweetest. Who doesn't love a kiss? And when it's a kiss from that special someone, any spot is sweet. Lips, cheek, forehead, nose, neck, shoulder....Need I continue? No. Kisses are nice.

On another note, I really hope I don't have to work today because I need to really devote my time to my 6-8 page Psych paper that is due tomorrow. Yahhh, I haven't started it yet, so buh bye!

Your normal lazy attitude is apt to receive a burst of energy tonight, dear Libra. It is in your nature to not want to lift a finger, but for some reason, you may be compelled to get up and get moving. You will find that when you connect with others, you are more motivated to make things happen for yourself. When you get the attention that you feel you deserve, your devotion will be strong.
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Probably London or some great city like Chicago
2. OUT OF ALL YOUR OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS, WHO WOULD YOU WANT AS YOUR BF/GF?(YOU HAVE TO ANSWER): This question is no fair. I guess my one friend...
4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT? Newsboys and another called Latin Groove
10.WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Refrigerator. Ahhhh, coldness....
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Closed-mindedness and arrogance. Gah!
13. FAVORITE COLOR(S)? Blue, for things. Brown to wear
14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? i will take anthing that runs without smoke but mos. def. an SUV
16. FAVORITE LITTLE KIDS BOOK? Babysitter's Club and Bernstain Bears
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I have always wanted to fly, so that
20. DO YOU HAVE A REAL TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I would never!!
24. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Some miscellaneous bags of stuff
25. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? (cheese)burger from Mickey D's!