Tuesday, December 30, 2003

It's Almost 2004!

So I'm online now (of course) and I'm talking to Larry. I swear, that boi really needs some new friends. The ones he hangs out with now all smoke alot of weed and drink, and he doesn't do any of that. So WHY does he hang out with them??? I don't really get it.

Some guy asked me for my number today. He was from Chicago (South Side, yes, yes) and he comes down to visit his family who lives here. First his uncle was talkin to me, asking me how old I was, where did I work and go to school and such, just general convo. Then he was saying "Yeah, my nephew over there is 18 too." I'm looking at him like okaaay, yeah, that's nice. Then he was sayin "Maybe you could give him your number so when he comes in town he can have somebody to chill with." Now normally, I would have shot this down with a straight up bogus rejection. But, I talked to the nephew, and he seemed cool. I figured, "what the hey, I'll give him the math and if he wants to call, fine with me" I gave him the digits, we'll see.

Anjelica left yesterday. I tell ya, it's really good to have a friend that you've know for almost your whole life. She left her CD's here. Yay for me, not so bueno for her. But, until I send them to her, I'll be jammin to some Smokie Norful, Floetry, and such. yah....

I'm not sure who Takira is...
I was messing with my hair today. Gah. There has to be something I can do with it. I seriously have been thinking about going bald, or super short. I just don't think I can pull that off though. But seriously, I've been thinking about making a change.

They say that people naturally resist change, but lately I feel like I need a big change in my life. Not just in my physical appearance, but in my life in general. Its time for something new. And, I don't think this is just one of those New Year's things, nah, I need a change for real.

Monday, December 29, 2003

I was thinking, and one thing I really wanted this year was to be kissed under some mistletoe. I don't know why, it just seems like such an ideal thing. So sweet, so Christmasy, *sigh*. But alas, no kiss, not even under mistletoe.

My body hurts. My back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my feet hurt, even on the top of my feet! How does that work? I am too young to feel this old!

Tura and Son' had a good laugh with me at my guitar playing skills. See, the thing is, I can't really play my guitar. I can play with it, but I guess that doesn't really count for much huh? I can't wait though, until I learn how to really play it well. I am gonna be one baaaad mamma jammma.

I need some serious help with my hair. Serious. I can't do anything with it! I'm thinking of locking it....Can you picture me with dredlocks? People have been telling me lately that I would look good with them. I dunno, that's a lot of commitement, I must think about it much more. Until then, I really need to get it cut. But, until I do that, it's the same old same old.....

Friday, December 26, 2003

Man, I don't know what the heck happened to the last half of my last blog, but I'm mad because that was the best part of it. Although I typed in English, somehow the last part got encrypted to some strange charachters. Anhow, I was just saying how Anjelica's gonna be coming down tomorrow, and it'll be good to see her. I haven't seen her since summer of 2002, which doubled as the summer of detasseling and the summer of Scotland. Just thinking about Scotland and London gets me all nostalgic feeling...
Today Sonia called me, telling me about a 'girl's night out' she was having with Tura and some other friends. They invited me to come, but alas, I declined. I really wanted to go, yes, and I can't help but to think what they must be doing now, but being as broke as I am, I probably don't need to be having any fun. Anyway, sorry ladies, maybe next time?...

I saw Larry today again, we chatted for a bit. He asked me to go to dinner with him! Now, I didn't really hear what he had said, but I knew he had mentioned something about buying me food, or something along those lines. I was saying that would be cool, but I had to go back to work and he said
"You actually would?"
"Would what?"
"You would actually go to dinner with me?"
"Oh...Yeah, sure, why not?"
'Cool, we'll have to do that sometime"
What in the heezee have I gotten myself into? LOL
I found out how to get to my archives!! I'm so happy now I can go back and read over things like my madness with Lamont and my ever so popular Taffy Apple Blog. Yay me!

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas!!
Christmas is such a nice holiday. It's the only time when people as a whole feel obligated to be nice, simply because of the Christmas season.
Presents were good this year, I got everything I wanted. I only really wanted one thing which was this hoodie from Aeropostale. Aero really isn't my style, but it was a guy's one and it was soooooo cute!! Sonia got that for me, I am more than grateful. I also got a cell phone (finally). My grandmother got that for me, I was soooo excited!! The only thing is, it's a prepay and, well, lets say its more trouble than its really worth. We'll see what happens with that.

I got my grades the other day. LOL. Well, I did better than I thought I did, but my GPA is still dreadfully low. I thought I was gonna fail Engl. 101, but I got a D. Ok, yes a D is still failing pretty much, but I didn't even turn in my portfolio! I only actually wrote one paper in the class, so I guess the teacher didn't give me a flat out F because I do have skills, I just didn't do the work. I pulled a C in Psych, not the best but I was concerned I might not pass that. Of course I got an F in Business, that was absolutely no surprise. That was the most hoorible class ever. I got B's in both Math and Religion. So, yea the grades were pretty much bad, but I am psyched about next semester!

I am ready to have some fun. Just downright act a fool fun. This whole break all I've been doing is working and sleeping pretty much (more of the latter). The only time I've gotten to see mis amigos is at work, wassup with that?? So, I really need to go, get together with los amigos and celebrar.....

Cool People of the Day:
Sonia-For getting me that hoodie. You know how much I wanted that! Thank you a hundred times over my friend! I love you!
G-Pat-Thanks for the cellie! I was so excited, what an unexpected gift. You have always been a good gift-giver!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Is it just me or is there nothing to do online? I get online, IM some people, and if noone's on I read blogs. That's it. With something as vast and endless as the internet, there should be something interesting to do.
It's 2:30 and I've stayed in the bed all day. I was figuring a little R&R would help me recover, but I still feel hoorible. I feel worse today than I have in a long time. I think I should actually go to the doctor, but they never find anything and then they just give you medication basically just for coming. I've had a fever all day. I don't know what's wrong with my thermometer, because for some reason everytime I try to use it, it tells me my temperature is 95-96 degrees. Not quite accurate... I mean 98.5 is normal right? I have this strange headache and I can't seem to open my eyes all the way, and they keep watering.

Anyhow, despite my sickness, I am still doing stupid things.
Today the phone rings.
"Hey Love!! What you doin' today?" (Ah, Kandra from work. What does she want? Why kid myself? I know what she wants)
"Ummm, well, nothing really"
"Oh, ok, cuz I was looking at the schedule and I am working by myself from 4:30-6:30 and so I was wondering if you could come in a little early?"
Of course my stupid self said yes. I don't even wanna go to work at my scheduled time, let alone early. Why do I continually do this to myself? Because I need the money.
At the end of the conversation she said
"Thank you so much!! I love you!" -Yah, well as my mother always says, love don't pay the bills.

Monday, December 22, 2003

"Have a happy Christmas and a merry day!!"
Sooo, I'm thinking about changing my blog template again. Perhaps I should wait until I can get on a computer where I can see colors properly, since my computer is jacked up.

My head hurts, my sinuses are acting up, and I feel so sickly. Work today was....well, it was work.

I was just thinking about this tape (yes, it was a cassete tape, you know that was back in the day) that I used to have called Rappin Rabbit. LOL. He was a rabbit that rapped about God and stuff. It might sound silly, well, it was silly, but his rhymes were pretty catchy. I still remember them from all those years ago.
"Rappin with rappin rabbit
is a Christian habit
and its fiddly diddly fun too"

Be a Good Sport was about not being a sore looser.

"Be a good sport, and enjoy the game
Be a good sport
Be a good sport, you'll be glad you came
Be a good sport
Never get mad, just be nice
Imitate the traits of Jesus Christ
Play your best....
Be a good sport!!"

One of my personal favorites is Faith

I can believe in faith
Faith is wonderful thing
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for in conditions of things not seen
That may be hard to say
But Hebrews eleven one (11:1) says it that way
I can believe in faith
Faith in God above"

Buen times indeed. Rappin Rabbit. Hah.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

"Christmas is not about getting, its about recieving"
Lol, did I miss something??

Feliz cumpleanos a mi amiga Sonia! Hoy tiene diez y nueve anos!!! Vieja...

I am watching Kim Possible right now, (not by choice) and they keep using all these strange ebonic words like 'fa shizzle' and 'off the heezee' Why??? I've also noticed that lately I've been saying 'what the heezee'. I'm not exactly sure where that came from, seeing as I didn't ever say it when it was "in". Strangeness.

I was reading blogs today and I found a link to this ridiculous website. I don't know what to think.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

"Our time and our color gotta coordinate..."

CP time, in case you all are not familiar with that. It stands for colored people time, explaining why for some strange reason, black people are often late, and rarely start things on time. If it's supposed to start at 4:00, it'll probably begin around 4:30 or so. I don't know why that is.

Anyhow, today I feel like shiznit (pardon my french-ebonics). I am sooo sick. My chest hurts like somebody is sitting on it, my voice is all raspy and I have a headache and a strange dry cough. Not coolness at all.

So, while I am at home today, trying to relax and take care of my ailing body, my job calls. Tell me why these fools ask me to come in to work. WHY OH WHY???? And tell me why I came in. I dragged my sick body in to work, was miserable, and left early anyway. Now what purpose did that serve? I guess I'll just have a few extra dollars on the next check.

Everyone is home from break!! It is so exciting to see everyone from high school again. I was at work the other day, and I saw Angela!!! I was so excited, I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. Angela and I used to be really tight, we were inseperable. You saw Angela, you saw me. We drifted apart over the years. Majorly apart, but no matter what, she will always be a special person to me.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I absolutely love egg nog. It is one of the best drinks, and it's really sad that it is only around during the Christmas season. Although I love it so, I do have a problem with egg nog. It rips my stomach up!! Wooh man, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I only drank one glass of it at a time, but it's so good, I just have to keep going, and I always give myself a stomachache. So I was thinking "hmmmm, I wonder if they have soy egg nog..." I love soymilk as well, and I was thinking if they have soy egg nog, that would just be great. My mother, of course, looked at me like I was sick and crazy when I told her about it, She basically was like "What kind of sick drink would soy egg nog be?" Nevertheless, a month later, she comes home with some, and yes, it is all for me. *sigh* such joy comes with so called "SilkNog". I can drink it and drink it, and I know that I have no fear of a bellyache, and on top of that, it has that slight taste of soymilk. Lucky me, I get the best of both worlds!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

I wish I knew the link to my archives. Its making me quite upset, I thought I'd be able to figure it out, but I haven't been.

Anyhow, I was thinking "Hmmm, what interesting and thought provoking thing can I talk about?" I don't really know. Ahh, I do know.

Let me talk about Mike. I don't read his blog often, but every now and then I like to see what idiodic things he has to say. He seems like the type of person who is quite smart and intelligent, but doesn't have the best social skills. Perhaps he is one who thinks more people like him than really do, or maybe he knows they don't like him, but he tells himself he is ok with that. But hey, I don't know the kid so I really can't say. I found his last post most interesting and a bit immature to say the least. He basically says "Oral sex is gross, because that's where pee comes out of. Ewwwww" He even goes on to say "Seriously, if any chick gave me a blow job, i would never kiss them again." I must say, spoken like a true virgin. I mean, yes, I can completely understand where he is coming from. However, the way he presents that idea is so.....Junior High-ish. Even underclassman in highschool-ish. Even beyond that, I find many of the things he says as just non-sensical ramblings that he tries to make funny and sarcastic. I just get shake my head and wonder why whenever I read his blogs. Okay, Okay, maybe he is still in high school. Maybe his mind has yet to mature through experience. If so, he is forgiven. If not, he has some explaining to do.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Ahhhh, it's been so long. Where do I begin??? Well, I am done with school of course, no homework, no tests, no studying no nada!!!! sweeetness indeed.

Now I have a problem. I have nothing to do!!! Since my days are not busied with school and school things, I have nothing to do until I go to work or church. I've been spending all my time shopping and, well, shopping. When the Christmas season is over, then what??? Woe is me. Whatever shall I do??

I can't really sort out my feelings enough to really blog, so I think this shall be short. Sonia's birthday is coming up, she'll be 19. I have no idea what to do for her b-day. I also don't know what to get her for Christmas, isn't that sad? She is my best friend and I don't even know what to get her. I have just about everyone else's present though.

Friday, December 12, 2003

I should just go to bed
I tried to tell myself that I'd start going to bed by 12:00 every night. That lasted for about a week. I'm tired now, but I must tell of my accomplishments for the day. We've had this computer desk for like, 6 months. It's the kind that has to be assembled. I guess noone had time or ever felt like doing it, but today I finally did it. Mama said that her friend had the same kind and it took her and her daughter 5 hours to put it together. Well, I'm not sure what kind of handicap they have or whatever, but it only took me like 2 hours by myself, and that was with doing stuff in between. It looks really good, it's wood with a black top. It matches perfectly with the living room decor. It is bigger than the table we had it on before, so I also had to do some rearranging/redecorating. It felt really good. One thing that I'm mad at though is this little computer that Symone is trying to hang on to. Grr. Anyhow, the living room looks really nice and I feel good about that. It kinda off sets my bad feelings about school. Okay, tonight I shoud be in bed by 2. I shall!!

Thursday, December 11, 2003

They say I'm hopless....
As a penny with a hole in it

Yeah, that's how I feel, just plain hopeless. I have done so badly in school this semester. I am so ashamed of my performance, because I know that I can be a straight A student, for real. I could be pullin a 4.0 gpa right now, but I'm not. My gpa is nowhere near 4.0. I just can't believe what I've done to myself. I feel so defeated. Part of me wants to never go back to school. Just give up. But then I know that I'll never make anything of my life. Part of me wants to take a semester off, or maybe even a year. But I hate that. I hate when people take time off of school for no reason. What would my reason be?? To 'clear my head'? No, my head is clear enough, just a bit unfocused though. Part of me wants to take next semester by the neck and wring all A's out of it. Yes, that is what I want to do, and that is what I shall do. No matter what it takes. If I have to quit my job, then so-be-it because my education is a top priority. I'll say it's number 2 on my list. Number one is of course, God and my spiritual life. Number 3 is work/money. High on the list, yes, but not more important than my education. So, I'm trying not to dwell too much on my failure in school, because the way I see it, the semester is over now, and there is nothing at all that I can do about it, so why worry. Why even bother to dwell on it? It will do me no good.

But, next semester, it's on like a pot of neckbones, in the early morn', till the break of dawn, oh, I could go on and on.... (= Cuz, really, it ain't no thing but a chicken wing on a string from Burger King that sings on a swing, know what I mean??

I haven't seen Kalvin. I want too. I wish he'd come right now and sit at the computer next to me, and play some games. Then I'd talk to him, find out his real name and some other stuff about him. I have it all planned out....

I made a peach cobbler!! Peach cobbler is absolutely one of my favorite foods and I made one yesterday. My grandmother taught me how the last time she came down. (She always makes me peach cobbler) I kinda remembered how to do it, I had bought the ingredients, and yesterday I was like eh, why don't I make it now. It was funny, I didn't really know how much to put of what so I'd be like "Hmm, I think I remember vanilla *shrug* *pour*. Nutmeg?? yeeea, there was some of that *shrug* *dash dash*. Hmm, how thin should the crust be? Um, maybe a little more milk in that *eyebrow raise* *pour*.
Anyhow, it turned out really good, and I can't wait to make another one. Knowing me, I'll probably be making one like, every week. lol. Ridicoulous. Maybe I should give everybody peach cobbler for Christmas. I mean, it's a heck of a lot better than fruitcake. Ok, I think I have said enough, even though I have so much more to say, but I don't want to tire youall's eyes out.
I know now what I'm getting 5 of my friends for Christmas. I have covered Ali, KaReisha, Therese, Ash and Martina (that's right, Martina, I'm gonna get you something. Don't be surprised to see your name). I have soooo much more to go. I don't know what to get my mother or sister. hm. I sold back some of my books today and so I have a little bit of money to spend, I'm gonna go shopping tomorrow. I hope Son' can come with me!!

I guess I really didn't have that much more to say huh?
I'm mad at that...
I think I should start having a "I'm mad at that" section of my blogs, because there's a lot of things I find myself saying that about. Today it was the radio. This has been on my mind for a while, but I always forget to blog about it. It's the song 'Suga, Suga' No, not Suga suga, aww honey honey, you are my candy girl...... The new one, Suga suga how'd you get so fly.... I'm mad at that song because lyrically, it makes no sense at all.

You got me lifted, shifted, higher than the ceiling
and ooh wee its the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Suga how'd you get so fly?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know its leather when we ride
Wood grain and raw hide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Girl you keep it so fly with your sweet honeybuns
You was there when the money gone,
You'll be there when the money comes

Rawhide??? What does rawhide have to do with 'suga' being so fly? The lyrics to this song make absolutely no sense, I think they just put stuff in there to make it rhyme and sound good. Now, the song does indeed sound good, it has a great beat and the singer has a great voice. But, as you can see, lyrically it sucks. I'm mad at that.

Another thing I'm mad at is my breath. Oooooweee, it is kickin, I don't even want to talk to my own self. I don't know what I did or didn't do to make it this way, but please don't let me do it again.

Tomorrow I will be done with school until January 13 or so. *Tears of joy and elation* I'm so happy!! Relief and release.

My friend is pregnant. That forces me to shake my head. *shakes head*

Okay, now I must go and continue pulling an all-nighter (my second one this week) and study for my psych test. Can somebody get me some NO-DOZE for Christmas?.... My mother says not to take it, something like its a form of narcotics and it can be addictive.... I said "sweeeet!" and she gave me a look like "Not funny Elizabeth. Not funny at all." Well, I laughed.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Can somebody anybody tell me why I wait until the last minute, even though I know it will get me nowhere. I waited to do my Religion assignments until last night. They were due today. Good news is, I got them all done!!! Yay me!! Bad news is, I didn't go to bed until 6am. *Yawn* I am tired, yes. I don't actually feel like I'm making alot of sense either. Gah, I never want to do this again. I swear there are swirly things moving on this screen....

Anyhow, this morning (after about an hour of sleep) I finally managed to roll out of bed. I was supposed to be out of the house by 7 to go to my 8:00 final, but I can't really leave at 7 if I get out of bed at like, 7:20. Soooo, I asked Mama for a ride. Why is it that whenever you are in a hurry, parents take forever?? Mama decided that after I asked her for a ride that she needed to take a shower. I'm like d00d, its 7:30 and if I wanna be on time I have to leave by at least 7:45. gah. So she takes a shower and all that stuff and we finally left. I was late to my final, yes, but I didn't care. It went pretty well, I know I'll pass the class, so hey.

Me and Sonia finally came to a consensus on Kevin's name. His name is Kalvin. hmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it as it did last night. See, we were talkin and we decided that we need to combine the names Kevin and Kyle. Sooo, I'm like hmmm "Kevyle" LMBO! we both started bustin up! So, no that one didn't work. Then (I am so funny) I was like Kylevin (no, that wasn't funny, but yes, I am funny). Hmmm, kinda sounds funky, but eh, its a lot better than Kevyle right? We were thinking, Kylevin, kinda sounds like Calvin. But, we must spell it with a K because he is simply a K person. So, Kalvin it is. Aww, Kalvin, he is so cute. I think he has dimples. cute litttle dimples.... *shifty eyes* there goes that tiredness again.

Monday, December 08, 2003

I thought of this poem this morning while riding the bus to class. Enjoy.

Early morning bus
Going to school and work bus
Quiet bus, too early for conversation bus
I'm about to start my day bus

Afternoon bus
Out of school bus
Kids got nothing to do bus
Chatty, friendly place bus
Going along with the day

Evening bus
Just got off of work bus
So tired, wish I could put my feet up bus
What I gotta do when I get home bus
The day slowly comes to an end

Nighttime bus
Not many riders bus
We must all head home now
Tomorrow we run again.
Strange Feelings
I just got done reading Tura's blog and she was listening to India. Arie's "Good Man". That song always makes me want to cry, India.'s music always has an impact on me.

If the sun comes up, and I'm not home
be strong
If I'm not beside you, do your best to
carry on
Tell the kids about me when they're old enough to
Tell them that their daddy was
a good man

(this part really gets me)
Two eyes
Up at me
To a picture like where is he
Mamma are you OK
And what did the paper say
To make you cry that way
It said your Daddy lived for you
And your daddy died for you
And I'll do the same

*deep breath* Alright, I'm okay. See, now Tura's got me bumpin India. Arie at 12 somethin in the mornin. Eh, anytime's a good time for India..... Something about her music just makes me want to sing, pray, play the guitar and be in love at the same time.

This week is finals week. Gah, it came way too fast, I'm so not ready. Tomorrow I have my math final, which should be easiest of all. I'll be done with that at like 9 something, so I'll have the rest of the day to work on my Religion assignments which are due on Tuesday. I really want next semester to be 100% better than this one was. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am letting my brain power and intellect go to waste.

Hm, I wonder if I'll see Kevin when I go to school tomorrow.

I am trying not to let my financial situation get to me. I need money, but I have none. Ok, I have some, but not as much as I need. Ok, maybe I don't need it, but I want it very badly. I have some expenses that are not being met and its not a very comfortable situation. I wish that I could get a second job over break because with all the people they just hired at Claire's, I'm not gonna get more than probably 20 hours a week. Someday, my appointed time to leave there will come, and then I'll go somewhere else and hopefully make mad bank. Until then, I'll be piercing ears and such.

Martina-I can't wait to get your letter. Don't be mad if it takes me a while to get one back to you.

Tura-I am glad you have come back to ole' blogger. I missed you! When are we gonna hang out??

Sonia-You know I know that "nothing" is not the answer to the question I keep asking you. But fine, whatever. By the way, its KEVIN!

Australian Kid-It's so cool that you wrote about me in your blog!! But, uh, I'm not sure what 'farnie' means....

*yawn* I think I shall go to bed now.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

Unfocused Poem-ette

Where is my mind
The thoughts I can't find
I need to unwind
But I can't find the time

My thoughts float in my head like a feather in the wind
Wandering, aimless, no beginning or end
I try to capture the thoughts, but to no avail
They keep floating and drifting, like a ship with no sail
I was watching the ole telly today and I saw a couple of videos that made me think. This one song said something like:
"I'm the candyman, I got mo than just frozen juice cups"
Let me tell you now, this video was keeping it real, ghetto fab style. On the candy man line, it shows the rapper opening his refrigerator and its filled with frozen juice cups. You know, like, Kool-Aid frozen in a little paper cup. If that's not ghetto....But, it really brings back memories of my childhood. The song in general was about him being a drug dealer, hence, having more than just frozen juice cups. And, I'm not exactly sure why frozen juice cups would be in his refreigerator....wouldn't they kinda.....melt?

Then, what is up with Pharell? I'm sorry, but there is just something about him that is so cute. The boy just has something about him. It's not that he looks so cute, because he's not all that great looking, but there's something about his personality that makes you want him to say "come here girl..." which is when you would turn into putty. His rock/hip hop image really works for him too. What brotha do you know who has an asian guy as a sidekick, skateboards, and sings hip-hop music, and makes tight beats? Only Pharell can pull that one off.

Ah, now there is Kevin. At least, that's what I call him. Really, I don't know his name yet. Ok, let me start at the beginning of the story.
Yesterday Sonia came out to U of H with me, in between my classes. We were in the bookstore and we saw this guy. Immediately our nonverbal communication kicked in. I looked at her with a look that said "Hey, look at that guy. Cute huh?" She responded back with eyes that said "Yeeeeah, mmph, not bad at all" So, then he was talking to one of the salespeople at the bookstore and Sonia said (with words this time) "Oh, he has a soft voice too." Well, she didn't know at the time, but he heard her say that. He kinda gave a little look after she said that, kinda just like "hm" but nothing too noticeable. But I noticed. On his way out, he gave me a little look and nicely held the door for me. When I told Son' that he heard her say that, she was flippin out. "Awwww man, I can't believe he heard me! Awwwww" Heh. So aaaaanyway, I saw him again later that night. He was at Wal*Mart with who I believe must have been his mom. I woulda talked to him too, but he was talkin to his mom.

I have told myself that next time I see Kevin, I'm gonna talk to him. By the way, me and Son' can't come to an agreement on what his name is. We both agree though that it starts with a K. Kevin (my pick), Kyle (Son's pick). Only time will tell what Kevin's name really is.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

This was cool
you are lavender

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
Today I'm skipping the last day of my Religion class to finish up my Psychology work. There is a phrase, stealing from the *something* to give to the *something*. I don't know what the somethings are, but I feel like that's what I'm doing.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

This is an excellent paper I wrote sometime last year
Procrastination: Why Do We Do It?

Procrastination is defined as the avoidance of a task that needs to be done. Procrastination can be found from small occurrences such as waiting to buy a birthday present the day before the party, to bigger instances, like barely making the deadline of an important project at work or school. No one particularly likes procrastinating, so why do we do it so often? The basis for procrastination usually lies in fear, disorganization or simply, boredom (University of Cambridge 1.). Procrastination is a serious problem and the only way it can be fought is by knowing what the source of it is and taking the necessary steps to prevent it.
Disorganization is one of the main sources of procrastination; however there are different types of disorganization. Absentmindedness can be a serious problem for some who think they can remember several issues with ease, because they feel that they have healthy memories, which may not be the case. Also, not being able to prioritize effectively can create a build up of work that can seem impossible to handle, thus enticing one to postpone the chore until a later time. Lastly, poor time management, which goes hand in hand with misprioritization, is probably the most common type of disorganization that leads to procrastination (Queck 1.). It is quite feasible for one to set deadlines and not meet the deadlines that are preset.
For some, boredom is the leading precondition to procrastination (Queck 1.). At times, people are forced to do tasks that simply do not interest them, which leads them to postpone the task to a later time, perhaps until they "feel like" doing it. The problem is, if there is no interest, they will never have the desire to get things done. People have a tendency to avoid things that do not hold their attention, and many do not have the self-discipline to do the work despite the lack of interest. Also, having hostility toward the person who assigned the task or toward the subject can cause one to lose interest in the project.
Perfectionism is not something most people would think of as a source of procrastination, but it is not uncommon. One may think that perfectionism may make a person more likely to do a certain task, do it well and on time, but this is not always so. The perfectionist's reason for procrastinating is usually fear of failure. The desire to constantly do things perfectly can cause one to set too high and sometimes unobtainable goals. Though the perfectionist has set these goals, she may have a fear of not being able to complete the task to her demanding standards and in turn, she does not complete or even initiate the task.
Knowing some of the sources of procrastination can prevent it from happening. If a person is disorganized in one way or another, she needs to develop better organizational skills; perhaps starting with an appointment book to write down what needs to be done and the steps needed to accomplish the task. Time needs to be scheduled to do what needs to be done and make sure all resources are at hand. If necessary, the tasks can be broken down into smaller, more manageable pieces and handled accordingly. Those who suffer from boredom simply must force themselves to do the task at hand just to get it done and move on to other tasks. Procrastination is not going to get the task done, and the longer one waits, the worse the person will feel about the task. Lastly, the perfectionist needs to understand that not everything can be done to the utmost perfection. Perfectionists must realize what they are capable of and set their standards and expectations to that, and not to unrealistic goals (University of Cambridge 1.). Perfection is usually unobtainable anyhow.
Procrastination, whether in the form of disorganization, boredom, or perfectionism, can be overcome. The first step is to observe one's actions and find out why she procrastinates. If she procrastinates because of disorganization, she must become organized. If the reason is boredom, she must simply push herself to do the task at hand. If perfectionism is the source of her procrastination, she must learn to set realistic goals that can be reasonably reached. The only way one can rise above procrastination is to realize the problem, acknowledge it, and change habits so that it will no longer control one's life.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Puhrrrrraise tha Laaaawwwwd!!
I am so frickin happy. Last night I was stressin about my paper so bad, it was hoorible. The Lord told me not to totally wear myself down, so after much deliberation (and after only getting about a page of my paper done) I went to bed. I decided, I can't worry about it anymore. So I didn't. I went to Psych class and my paper is gonna be due on Thursday! Yes, I am rejoicing. God really shows me favor.

But, I must leave now and catch the bus to go home. And work. :) Much love.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Sweetest thing I've ever known
Lauren Hill says "Sweetest thing I've ever known, is like a kiss on the collar bone"
Eh, yah, that's pretty sweet, but I only half way agree. I think kisses themselves are the sweetest. Who doesn't love a kiss? And when it's a kiss from that special someone, any spot is sweet. Lips, cheek, forehead, nose, neck, shoulder....Need I continue? No. Kisses are nice.

On another note, I really hope I don't have to work today because I need to really devote my time to my 6-8 page Psych paper that is due tomorrow. Yahhh, I haven't started it yet, so buh bye!

Your normal lazy attitude is apt to receive a burst of energy tonight, dear Libra. It is in your nature to not want to lift a finger, but for some reason, you may be compelled to get up and get moving. You will find that when you connect with others, you are more motivated to make things happen for yourself. When you get the attention that you feel you deserve, your devotion will be strong.
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Probably London or some great city like Chicago
2. OUT OF ALL YOUR OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS, WHO WOULD YOU WANT AS YOUR BF/GF?(YOU HAVE TO ANSWER): This question is no fair. I guess my one friend...
4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT? Newsboys and another called Latin Groove
10.WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Refrigerator. Ahhhh, coldness....
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Closed-mindedness and arrogance. Gah!
13. FAVORITE COLOR(S)? Blue, for things. Brown to wear
14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? i will take anthing that runs without smoke but mos. def. an SUV
16. FAVORITE LITTLE KIDS BOOK? Babysitter's Club and Bernstain Bears
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I have always wanted to fly, so that
20. DO YOU HAVE A REAL TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I would never!!
24. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Some miscellaneous bags of stuff
25. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? (cheese)burger from Mickey D's!

Sunday, November 30, 2003

September 27th People?? Hmmmm
I got this from a very interesting book

9/27 people usually function very well in real terms or in the eyes of others but may nontheless be plagued by doubts or insecurities. Perhaps this comes as a result of expecting too much of themselves, and in their quest for perfection (they have a tendency to play the hero or martyr) may grow depressed over their inability to completely live up to the impossibly high goals they have set. If those born on this day could lower their standards a bit, or be more accepting of human failings, they would indeed be much happier, but perhaps less exceptional. Because of their fear of failure, and insecurity at a deep level about their natural abilities, they are driven to succeed. Slumps and depressions are not at all uncommon. During these times, 9/27 people may need the support of a good friend, family member, or counselor to remind them of how they are valued and help them to be more at peace with themselves.

Libra 1 (A Libra 1 is in the first half of the Libra 'season')
The Libra 1 takes the perfectionist as its central image. Libra 1's are among the most talented and attractive people of the whole year. It is strange that with so much going for them, those born in this period are often curiously unable to advance as easily as they wish in life. Also, their emotions can be very unstable at times and if not moderated can undermine their efforts. Libra 1's have a high code of honor which they seek to uphold in their conduct. Rarely will they transgress their principles or personal notion of morality, but nonetheless can be extremely subtle in masking their true point of view or intentions behind an ironic or satirical facade. Others may believe they understand Libra 1's only to find out that they were deeply mistaken.

Monday, November 24, 2003

Working, Working
I've been putting lots of work into my blog lately. Way more work than I have on my English papers. But, it looks tight don't it? Yea.. I'm not all the way done with it, gotta add some links and fix the 'about me' section. It's been hard work (especially not knowing html) but quite rewarding. Tura, I know you said you took a class on html or with it or something. If you have any books or anything, can I borrow them please?

Now I must go and take care of Puddin. Adios
I don't wanna be cold....
I have to go to class today, but I only have one. Mama took the car so I have to take the bus (which reminds me, I'll need change). I don't wanna take the bus because that means I have to walk like 5 blocks to the bus stop. In the cold. Then, when I get out of class, I have to go to Puddin's house to sit with her. She just has gastro-bypass surgery and she is not supposed to be doing too much. But, I dunno how I'm gonna get there. If it was nice, I wouldn't mind walking, but it's freakin cold! And her house is too far to be walking in this weather. I think I'm sad now, because of the snow and the cold. The high is only 30 degrees! That's below freezing!! I don't even have any gloves....
Woe is me.
Let it cease, Let it cease, Let it cease.
No, for real, let it cease.

This morning I woke up, and lo and behold, it was snowing. For those of you who don't know, I hate snow. With a passion. "Why?" Some may ask. "Snow is so pretty, snow is when you know winter is really here...." Puhlease, snow is not all that pretty, and as far as winter goes, I hate that too. Here is why I hate snow/winter.

-Both are way too friggin cold.
-Snow is wet.
-Snow gets dirty too fast.
-Once you step in it, it's over.
-Winter-too much clothing.
-Everything is dead (i.e. trees, grass, nature in general).
-Snow=salt and salt trucks=messed up boots, shoes, cars.

That's all I can think of for now, but I think you get my point.

Sunday, November 23, 2003


Alright, I have decided to change my blog once again. Sorry for those of you who did not see how pretty it was before. (basically everyone except KaReisha) *tee hee*

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Heh Heh Heh

Ok, it didn't take all night, in fact, it only took me about a minute or 2 after that last post. Now, to hook up some more and then to post more.


I'm trying something new with my blog. This may take all night.....

So not funny

Whatever happened to MAD TV? It used to be so so so funny. Now, it's just vulgar and stupid. They make fun of Shaq way too much. I miss the first seasons. I'm MAD at how they only have Deborah Wilson playing these ghetto girl roles. So distasteful.....

Hilarious Person of The Day: Ola
"Your man had a man on the side..."
That was TOO funny. 2.

Every time I watch MAD TV I tell myself I'm never going to watch it again. But I keep trying to give it a chance. There is no hope.

Sonia has a boyfriend. LOL!

Apparently, Brian thinks I'm deep. I think that's good, I think I'm deep and I appreciate when others can see into my deepness. However, I don't know if he thinks my deepness is a good thing. I don't really care though.

Next week=Thanksgiving Break. WooooHoooo!

I saw Larry the other day. He has a nice body. No, don't get me wrong, I'm not into him at all. AT ALL. But, I gave him a hug and I noticed he has a nice, solid figure. Some muscles, but not too much. Not skinny, not fat. Could be taller, but hey, I'm not tryin to get with him so I don't care.

I'm going to my Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, I can't wait to see all my family. I haven't seen most of them since Daryl died. It will be good. I hope everyone is there, especially my cousin Anthony. I love him so much!! We're the same age and we grew up together, but I haven't seen him in like, 6 years.

OK, does SNL really think that making fun of Donatella Versachae is funny? I could see if she was a person who was really in the media's eye, or if she was well known, but she's not. I bet most of the people watching the skit on her wouldn't even know who she was unless they said her name. What we need is a good comedy show. Remember In Living Color? That was the show back in the day!

Speaking of shows that were good back in the day, Soul Train would most definitely be on the list. That's where I learned how to dance, well, that and the Fly Girls on In Living Color. Hm, what's another show? Small Wonder-The girl who was really a robot. ALF-Alien life form, who can resist? He was so funny and sarcastic. *sigh* Oh, when TV was good...

Friday, November 21, 2003

Check this one out

Why studying is worthless.
Because :

No Study = Fail ....................... ( I )

Study = No Fail .................... ( II )

By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) :

=====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail )

By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side
And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side

=====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 )

By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1)

=====> Study = Fail

posted by Xuan

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I feel like singing

Well, mostly I feel like sleeping. MMMMM, sleep...

I'm online and noone's on. So I'm bored. I dont wanna go to my Psych class because I am deadfully tired and I know that I will just sleep. The teacher gets mad when I do that, although she never says anything. I feel bad too. Like this morning, I dozed in my World Religions class. oops. sori, didn't mean to.

Talked to my Grandma last night. She is sending us tickets to come and visit her for Thanksgiving, but I don't know if I'll be able to go. I may have to work the day before and/or after, in which case, I won't be able to go. I really want to though, all my family's gonna be there. My grandma, my greats, aunts, uncle, cousins all of them. I didn't get to go last year either. Symone was mad because everyone was like "Where's Elizabeth??" the whole time. *tee hee* my family loves me....

I got to talk to KaReisha the other night online. We watched tv together!! 'twas fun.

Other than that, I'm getting a little worried about my English papers. I need to pray about that.

I wonder if anyone is secretly in love with me. hmmm. Don't you hate it when you like someone for a long time and then you stop or whatever and then come to find out later on that they liked you too? That gets on my last nerve. Or when you know 2 people who really like each other alot but they don't know that the other person likes them, so they never hook up? Gah!

I need to start playing my guitar more. The last time I was at Tony's house he was playing his guitar and then he handed it to me and was like "Ok, show me what you can do." heh heh heh. Silly boy. I didn't show him jack. Then, he came over the other day and I let him see my guitar (he hasn't been over since I got it). He really likes it, he was like "Man, Libit, this is a nice guitar" *ahhh* Yes, I know, I know. He plays well, but I will really be glad when he starts playing at church.

Yay! Sonia came on so I get to stop rambling.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Question of the day

Is it better to be a quitter or a failure?

Now, I want you to really think about this one. Don't just give any answer, really ponder on this. Like, if you are doing something, and you feel that you wont succeed, should you try anyway if you know you will fail, or should you quit before you fail??

Makes you think huh? Let me know your opinion, either leave a comment or email me.


Ok, you know what??? You all need to start leaving some comments. I (and Tura) worked hard to try to figure this comment thing out and lo and behold, it is of no use. Come on my lovely people, leave a comment even if it is something as stupid as "lol" or just anything. It really means alot to me. Really. And thank you so so so so so much Tura for helping me with that. I don't know if I ever told you thanks, but now you get your props. Let's give it up for Tura *applause* *woot woot*!

This song hits the mark

"What I Always Wanted"

Opened up it's revealed!
Savour this
Dont get lost in a lie!
Hit or miss
Beside, myself, push on
What's to come must be proved
Focus bliss
Charcoal stares
One foot at a time
Smear those lines
I thought I found
What I always wanted
Bear with me
I thought I found
What I always wanted
Bear with me
Is not at hand
I can't keep my eyes open
Chose not to listen
I thought I found
What I always wanted
Bear with me
I thought I found
What I always wanted
I got what I wanted
I got just what I always wanted
I got what I wanted
I got just what I always wanted

-Maybe I just got what I deserved. No, noone deserves this. "I chose not to listen" that is so true. "I thought I found what I always wanted" Ha. Silly me. "What's to come must be proved...."

Strangely Saddened

I woke up today and I was fine. I came to class, took a test in my religion class and was ok. But now, I've been hit with a strange bout of sadness. What am I sad about? I don't know.

Sonia-I think I'm upset about that one thing we talked about last night. I think I'm more upset than I think I am. WHY???

Martina-You are crazy.

Tura-We need to hang out sometime.

Anjelica-I was so excited to get your e-mail!

KaReisha-Girl, I know you have been calling me but seriously, I have not had time to call ya. Plus, I have to find your number. And I didn't get your e-mail with your screen name but I got it from Tura.

Therese-I miss ya! alot.

Ali-You are home alot...That's good because then I get to see you! One of these times we're actually gonna get to do something.

Monday, November 17, 2003

It's Over!!

The last day of the anniversary was yesterday, and let me say thank God it's over. It was lots of hard work. Lots. But it was "good good good, good so very good...." Every night was good but the opening and closing nights were the best. Lemme tell you what happened last night though.

I was getting ready in the back, getting ready for the praise dance that is, and I was so 'flustered' (I guess you would say) because we didn't even know what dance we were gonna do. Then Roc said we were doing Jesus Let Me Touch You. That's not the dance I wanted to do. I wanted to do Open Up My Heart. So, just as we're about to dance, House of Prayer from Kankakee came. By this time we have a full house. I was getting mad because now we have to dance in front of all these people, the girls don't really know the dance that well, we're gonna mess up, they're gonna look at us crazy..... All these thoughts were running through my head.

So, I knew we hadn't prayed together so I started to pray before we went out. I prayed that the dance would be anointed and that the Lord would have his way. We did our little intro and I was still a bit flustered but I kept praying. We were waiting for the music to start and I was praying praying praying.

We started the dance and it was going fine. We weren't even half-way through it when the music just stopped. STOPPED. I don't know if it was the CD or the radio but it just dead stopped and there was no hope for it. The prase dancers were just standing there, arms outstretched from "Sometimes to me you seem....so far away...."

We were just standing there, not knowing what to do. So, I started to sing the song. "And I wonder how to make it through the day...." And I sang the rest of the song until the end of the dance. Don't ask me how I did it because with that many people and no mic, AND I had a cold on top of that. Man, I know it was God. But, we finished the dance and it was anointed and God did have his way.

So you know I had to get my shout on after that. Martina, now why did you hold back your shout girl? I'm not too happy about that one....

O yea, so I got to see Martina again yesterday. That was cool, but I really wish I woulda got a chance to talk to her more. But it was cool just to see her again. Her and her *AHEM* "friend". Friend, like I'm supposed to believe that. Uh huh, we'll see about that one.

Anyhow, church was good and I'm glad the anniversary was over. It was quite stressful. This is how my day would go:

Go to class, go straight to work and put up with their mess, go straight to church (sometimes eat in-between), when I get to church, lead worship, lead praise, run to change my clothes to dance in, dance, run to put on a robe to sing in, sing with the choir, change back, sing with the group, go downstairs to help with the food, serve the guests, serve the pastors/ministers, finally sit down to eat, clean up after everyone leaves. *PHEW*

So this week I get to concentrate on my school work. YAY! lol

Thursday, November 13, 2003


Ok so yesterday was a great day. I didn't start out great, but by the end it was. I got so mad at Mama yesterday, she was trippin on some straight up stuff! Man, I was so mad at her and I was already stressed.... I was seriously about ready to cuss somebody out, for real, and youall know I don't curse. Ever. At all. Ok, well I used to but I haven't in years....

I went to work and it sucked. I saw Tony though, that was the highlight of my day that far. I love that boy! we used to be so close, that was my little brother. We've drifted apart but I still love the boy. We really need to spend some quality time together. Anyhow...

So I was at church and I was all mad. I went to pick up Sonia for church and I was all mad. I went to Walgreen's and yes-I was mad. Sorry Sonia about my driving. Hope I did't scare ya. I went to church and was snappin on the saints. That was bad. I mean, I was really really really mad. Grr.

Then, on top of that I could hardly sing for church. We started out and we were having worship service and I was getting so mad and annoyed because here I am, up here singing and the people in the audience are sitting, twiddling their thumbs, playing with babies, staring into space. But I felt the spirit and I knew that if we kept going it would pick up.

So we kept singing, me with my hoarse self and Stefanie and Sequita and you know what, the spirit did finally get a-movin. And it was good.....

We ran worship and praise together and I'm up there with no voice talking about "What kinda church is this" "It's a sanctified chuuuurch...." Sounding like a singing frog. It was cool though. The message was good too. ROAR!!

So really, all in all, it was a good service and that made my day better. I was tired by the end of the day though. We didn't leave the church till 12:15!

Wednesday, November 12, 2003


There are many different types of love. I need some. I feel loved, and I know that I am loved, and I do love, but I need more love.

Today the weather is nice again, no sun though. I love sunshine, it really brightens the day. I was in class and a little bit of sun came through the clouds and was shining right on me. I felt special. I felt like it was saying "here you go, a little sun for you to brighten up your day." I love the sun.

Favorite clothing item: My black pants. I have 2 pair and they are quite similar although both are not quite right. One pair is too big, the other pair is too long. But, I rock them and man do they work for me. They are so versatile! I can wear them to work and dress them up with a nice shirt and shoes. If I am in a bumming mood, I can rock them with some gym shoes and a hoodie or a t-shirt. I can even put a skirt over them and wear them to church. (That's right, skirt and pants. It's my monday night and wednesday night style. You have to see it to believe it. Nobody does it quite like me.) As far as them both being not quite right, well thats how many of your favorite things in life are. Like a child's favorite blanket, it may have holes, stains and rips galore. A favorite bunny may be missing an eye or an ear or most of the stuffing. Your favorite person may be a little crazy or maybe looks funny but you love them reguardless. Its the imperfections that make us.
(That was good huh? lol)

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

I feel good

Ok, I felt bad before, but now I feel good. I went to my Psych class and English (even though I was really tempted not to). I'm pulling a C in Psych. Not too proud about it but I thought I was doing worse. Turns out I got a B on the test that I actually studied for, that was great. I have hope of getting a B in the class if I do well on the paper/presentation that is due in like 3 weeks or so.

English, well, I thought I was gonna fail. In class we are on the 4th paper and to tell you the truth, I have only done the first. Sad, I know and so unlike me. I talked to the teacher today and I'm so glad I did well on the first paper, I think it gave her a good impression of me and anyway, she is going to give me a chance to do my papers!! That put me in good mood because if I would've failed that class, not only would I have wasted months of time, I would've probably lost my scholarship. $20,000 down the drain!! Not good. Not good at all. So, I'm in a good mood about that. Getting the chance to do the work that is.

Also, the weather was nice today. It rained a little bit, but I'd rather have rain than snow anyday. I didn't even have to wear my coat! So overall, twas a good day I guess.

I feel so bad

Man, I'm sitting here blogging and this guy next to me is working so hard on his English paper. That's exactly what I should be doing, but I'm not. That's why I feel bad. Not too bad though...

I talked to Martina last night. --Hey, girl, I wanted to call you back but I was preoccupied. No, for real, I was-- Man, I cannot wait until she comes to Bloomington. Even though we'll be at church the whole time, it will still be so good to see her! I'm excited.

My stomach hurts and I don't know when my psychology paper is due. Man.

I stole some tea from Sonia's house, for some reason it tastes better than the tea we had at my house before. I made some this morning but it doesn't have enough sugar. Too bad huh?

Life has been really heavy lately. I feel needed by many. Many of my friends lately are really going through and I'm so glad that I can be there for them just to listen or to give advice or to pray. That's about all I can do.

We need to have some fun. Some downright, act a fool fun. At least I know I do. Martina, you need to get your butt up here soon to spend some quality time with your big sister and have some fun! BHS alumni, (he he, we're alumni, how does it feel?) you know we gotta get together during break and hang out. I'm tellin ya, we should have a party. At Therese's house yea! I swear, that's the best spot....

Anyhow, I must go to psych class now. Hope I don't go to sleep. lol.

Monday, November 10, 2003


I found 4 dollars today! I was all down because I thought I was broke, but I was getting something out of my purse and I found the envelope from the drive-through when I went to the bank last week. It was had a little weight to it so I opened it, and lo and behold, I found 4 nice green $1 bills. That just about made my day. I wonder how long they will last....

I keep sneezing. Sonia gave me her cold and it is causing me nothing but trouble. But now I must go and meet her. By the way, I am blaming her for not going to class today. He he.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Just thinking

I'm so sorry Son'. Tonight Son' really wanted to talk to Brian and I was even gonna play operator for them... but Anjelica called. Poor Son', she hasn't talked to Brian in 3 days and she is going crazy. But, she wil be fine. Man, it was so good to get to talk to Anj. again. She is down there in Alabama with all that good weather. She said that today it was in the 90's! She was wearin shorts, a wife beater and flipflops. Oh, how I miss my beloved flipflops! I tell ya, I wish I could wear flipflops all year long.

I feel the need for companionship.

That was incredibly random.

I've been thinking lately, I enjoy people who are just random. Like this boy in my english class, I have no idea where he got this from but he just asked this guy "have you ever lactated?" That struck up our whole corner of the room to talk about male lactation, and it was great! The convo was so funny and that really made me realize how much randomness can be fun.

I've also been thinking about words. I feel like, as far as slang goes, I use the same words all the time. Dude, man, dang, 'fa real', crap, its just gettin old. So I'm gonna start just making up my own slang words. I don't have any examples because I haven't made up any yet, but they will be good.

One more thing I've been thinking about is the 'hello' of phone answering. Why is it that we say it "Hello?". Hello is not a question. What are you asking when you say hello? Nothing. So I'm gonna start answering the phone with "Hi" or "Hello!" lol, that will be so funny. What would you do if you called someone and they picked up the phone and answered with "Hi"? That would be so funny because then the person will think you knew it was them that was calling. Well, I think its amusing anyway....

I"m going to bed now....


Today is Symone's B-day. She's gonna be 12. She's got some friends coming over-just great.

I gotta go to work today and I'm wondering why the heck did I tell them I'd come in today? Friday is my DAY, its the only day I have completely to myself to do whatever I want. If I wanna sleep past noon, I can. If I wanna go run errands, I can. I can do whatever. But no, they asked me to come in and i stupidly agreed. I guess I need the money....

I cannot wait to see all my friends when they come home for Thanksgiving break! We shall all have to get together. We should have a party! Yea, that would be so much fun!

I'm getting sick (thank you Sonia, thanks alot). It's settling in slowly and that scares me. The musical is next week and I'm not even gonna be able to sing right. I kinda hope the group isn't singing because at least with the choir I can kinda lip-sync, but with only 4 people, that's not possible.

I talked to Brian last night. He apologized for what he had said to me, but said that he doesn't take it back. What did he say? You really wanna know? This is a direct quote.

"Man, you stuck up. I don't even see how my brother could like you."

Oh yes, that's exactly what he said. Let me tell ya, those words ring in my ears everyday. That really really hurt me. Really. In fact, that is the most hurtful thing anyone has said to me in years. Now, usually I don't care what people think of me. Really, I still don't care what he thinks of me, but to hear my love's brother say something like that??? He doesn't see how Lamont could like me? Ow, that hurts bad.
To be honest, I don't see how Lamont liked me either. But I'm glad he did.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

YAY. I'm so talented...

Ok, well not really but I'm just happy now because I added a counter to my blog! Right now its at the bottom of the site, but I want to move it so I dont' have to scroll all the way down just to see how many people have (or haven't) been on my site. Aw, man I feel so good now. Yesterday I was hardly home. I went to class then me and Son' had lunch/breakfast at McDonald's (chzb. happy meal, you already know). I got ready for work straight after that and directly from work went to church. A car makes things so convenient. I'm glad I have it on Mon, Wed, and Fri. Right after church I went to the IWU library because I knew I had to study for my Psych test. I didn't leave until 12am! I studied, and let me tell you, when I took that test today, I felt like I was really on top of things. There were some things I was like "uhhhhhh" on, but *thank God* the section that I had studied most was what was on the test the most. Hallelujah!! I was like "Bam, I know this one, Bam, I know that one, Awww, yea. I sho' know this one." That's a great feeling.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

you have got to be kidding me

Power Rangers Movie!

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a care,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

The first-what the heck.
The second-a smirk, yes. The explaination, not really.

Oh, so NOW I'm awake

I came to the IWU library to get some studying done. I have a Psych test tomorrow and I think I must get an A on it. So its over like 4 chapters and the chapters are pretty lengthy. I was getting through the first chapter when I found myself daydreaming. Then I found myself falling asleep. Craziness I tell ya. When I first got here, I looked for a computer but couldn't find one for anything. I know that was God. I know it was. So after I studied a bit and stopped myself from falling asleep, I decided to look for a computer again. Found one and now I'm strangely awakened. Funny how that works.

Something is terribly wrong...

I don't know what the heck is going on lately. Everyone is down in the dumps. Way down. This is so hard. This is messed up. This sucks. Me personally, I am suffering spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So let me break it down for ya, just in case you wanna know.

Spiritually: I feel so deeply the need to get closer to my God. I go to church at least 3x a week. I serve God, I love God with all my heart. But for some reason I find it so hard to do the things I know he wants me to do. I haven't read the word in I don't know how long. I want to, I know I need to. I haven't been fasting lately either. And even though I pray everyday, I'm not getting that deep prayer like I need. I have not been interceding for others like I should. That frustrates me. God does so much for me and I do stuff for him too but I need to do more.

Emotionally: Of course everyone knows that I miss So' (aka Lamont). I feel like something is so strange about this whole situation. I pick up on 'vibes' alot and something just doesn't seem right. I can't believe he knew he was gonna die. He knew. Now I will never have the love I wanted. Never. I will never kiss him, hold him, even talk to him again. I am sad about it but I'm tired of being sad all the time. But I can't help it. I truly thought he would be 'the one'. How silly of me. Now, I am happy for Sonia and her um, 'friend' that she has found. That's all I'm gonna say about her friend.

Mentally: College is working my last nerve. Well, not so much college, but me in college. I can't believe my performance, I can do SO much better. I have so so so much work to do and catch up on but for some reason its just not getting done. My mind is so confused about so much right now. I'm sick of school. I wish I could take a semester off or something but I know that everyone will just be jumping on my back about it, I will loose my scholarship, and I would hate to 'take a break' and not come back, or not come back for like 3 years or something.

Physically: My mother is fussing about how I don't take care of my body. I already know I don't take care of my body. I don't get enough sleep, I don't drink enough water/fluids in general, I don't eat enough and what I do eat is unhealthy because I'm usually in a rush. The school/work/church combo is really wearing me down and on top of that I now have to worry about this DI thing. Destination Imagination is gonna kill me off, I can already feel it.

I am frustrated with my job. I know for a fact that God gave me this job because they never ever hire anyone under 18 and I was 16 when I started. I have been given so much favor there, it is ridiculous to think of. I get away with so much. But I know God has me there for a reason, but in 2 years I have yet to figure that out. They don't wanna pay me nothing. That's what really makes me mad. I can't stand even going there. Ugh, I can't stand that job, but I must be grateful for it. I must be grateful for all my struggles. Like the song says "Trouble don't last always...."

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Well, come to find out my blog is rated G. I guess that's good. I read this kid's blog today and he seems like an interesting person so I added his blog to my links. Is that weird of me? His name is Jeff and it seems he is a high school senior. His blog has been the most interesting one of the random ones I have read, so that's that.

Anywho, I guess I'm having a pretty decent day now. This morning was hoorible though. I was missing Lamont awfully bad and I didn't know what to do. I went to my religion class and felt like crap because I didn't have my work done. THEN, on top of that he was telling us the grades we got on the last test. You will not believe what I got because I don't believe what I got. I got a 60%. He showed me and I said "You have got to be kidding me. Are you serious??" He just shook his head. Now, my religion class is about the easiest class I have. On the first test I got a C but all other tests after that have been A's and B's. AND this last test was a take-home exam. I got all of my answers straight off of the outline!!! What's really goin on?? Something has to be seriously wrong because there is just no way... So I'm gonna go and talk to him about that because I always do good on his tests and this one, all the answers were basically laid out for me. *angry sigh*

I don't have to work today and I am so happy. That means I can get some work done! And I WILL get some work done. Sonia has to work tonight and I really wish she didn't but, maybe her working will just help me focus, it cuts down on my distractions. Man, today is such a nice day, I'm loving the weather, even though it looks a little gloomy, the temperature is so nice.

I had a picnic in the car by myself yesterday. Sounds silly I know. I took my lunch break around 4, I had originally planned on taking Symone to Sylvan, but she was already on the bus to go there, so I just went to McDonald's. I had a cheeseburger happy meal. I was sitting in the car in the K-Mart parking lot (cuz its right by Mickey D's) with the windows rolled down and the radio on, just eating my happy meal and enjoying the warm weather and the sunset. It was a nice moment of solitude and reflection. It really did feel like a picnic though. It was just missing a blanket and a park and someone there with me, but hey, who needs all that for a picnic? Not me. lol. (No myfriends, I am not crazy, nor am I going crazy.)

Rated G huh?

What rating is your journal?

brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, November 03, 2003


I haven't gotten any really good rest in a long time. In fact I should be in bed right now. You know what? I'm getting so tired of the same thing everyday. Being tired, being mad at myself for slacking in school, tellling myself I'm gonna do better, being sad. I'm so sick of it! I wanna have a day that is so happy and fulfilling. I want my life to feel like it has a purpose and that I am needed and loved. This sucks but you know what? I gotta go through it anyway because this is my life. It will get better, I just have to trust that God will bring me through.

I have a big project due tomorrow. Haven't started it. My rough draft is due for paper 3. I never even did paper 2. Let alone starting paper 3. Shame shame shame.

I think mama hates Donna now. She keeps peeing on the floor but she really can't help it. Poor Donna is getting old. She can't help it.

Me and Sonia spent all weekend together. It was fun. Now usually when I spend more than 2 days with a person, being with them all day, I get sick of them. Not with you Son', I still look forward to hanging with ya.

I remember back in high school, like freshman and sophmore year, me and Sonia would ride the bus home together. I would get home before she did and I would wait 10 minutes or so, so that she could get in the house, take off her bookbag, etc, just so I could call her. We would have seen each other all throughout the day, talked all the way home on the bus, and would then still talk for an hour or so. And we'd probably call each other later. Craziness. High school seems like so long ago.

I was just talking to Son' tonight and it's amazing that 2003 is almost over. This is the year I had been waiting for like, all my life. So much happened this year and I know I can't remember it all but:
We went to DECA
I went to Florida for DECA nationals (yay me and Ali!)
Sonia went to Guyana
We graduated (Woooo hooo class of '03!)
We started college
I fell in love
KaReisha had a lil summer romance (I almost forgot)
All of us went our separate ways (I miss you all!!)
Hooked Sonia up with a date (heh, that was a fun night)
Senior dance-the last time I danced
I finally turned 18.

I know there was so so so much more that I don't remember, leave a comment if you think of something good. I will close with some wasups....

wassup Martina- I haven't talked to you in what seems like a while but I guess it was only a day or so. lol. I'll call you tomorrow, I promise.

wassup Therese-Girl, I love you so much, you are always encouraging and inspiring. You really brighten my days.

wassup Tura- Big one nine huh? You think you all that now.... uh huh. lol, j/k. We shall celebrate your birthday sometime OK? O and I know I still owe you $20 from back in the day. I got you.... No, for real...

wassup Sonia- Get better and please don't share your sickness with those you love. Ok, just don't share it with me.

Bye for now lovely people. I will keep you all in my prayers. O yea, and if you have a prayer request, you can leave it in the comments or you can em it to me.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Mi Blogito...

I'm supposed to be working, so I promised myself I'd just do a little blog.

Yesterday was fun. First I went to Symone's Destination Imagination thing. I see a lot of work in my future with that. Perhaps I am in over my head. Then, I hung out with Karen, Sonia and Amber. We didn't really do anything, just drove around and then we went to eat at BooBoo's Dawghouse. The food was OK I guess, but it didn't really hit the spot. (Like Kip's right Son'?) I helped Sonia with her hair, she was taking down her microbraids. Man O man she better not ever get braids like that again, they were so hard to take down and there were so many. We were up until 6:30 am! Taking down her doggone braids, and then I gave her a perm afterwards. Wooh, man I tell ya, she is lucky to have a friend like me. If I didn't love her....

So yesterday I got to talk to Lamont's twin, Bryan. Whoa man, they sound JUST ALIKE!!! It was so so so so weird, it was like talking to Lamont again. Well, not entirely because conversationally, he's different, but its so funny because he uses some of the same phrases and he laughs the same way Lamont did sometimes. He was really cool though. I think him and Sonia are gonna hook up. He likes her, it seems. Well, he does like her. I felt bad last night because I was really giving him the 3rd degree once I realized he was interested in my girl. I couldn't help it though. He didn't really take it well either, but I hope he still thinks I'm cool or whatever....

I cannot believe it has been one week today that my love has been gone. This past week has been so intense emotionally, its crazy. I can't believe it's only been 7 days because it kinda feels more like a month. So much has happened, it's almost a little overwhelming, but I'm holding it down. You know how I do. I missed him really bad today. I don't know if talking to Bryan is going to help me deal with it or not but I do like talking to him, he's so cool. Even though he did make me mad..... But hey, it's all good, I don't hold grudges, all is forgiven.

Ok so this blog wasn't so little huh?

Friday, October 31, 2003

She Likes Me!!

She likes me, she really really likes me!
In case you are wondering, the she is Lamont's mom. I was talking to Martina and I just had to ask her if her mother liked me or not, because seriously, I couldn't tell. At all. I was really thinking she didn't. Martina shouted "Mom, Elizabeth thinks you don't like her." Aww, man, why did she have to go and say that?? Then I talked to her mother and she said "Yes I like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't talk to you and try to correct your little English." Ah, ok. But it is a big relief to know that she likes me.

I have not talked with my father in a long time and I really hope he's doing ok. He's been on my mind lately. I don't want to ask mama about him because she may get upset. She hasn't heard from him either.

I am half asleep right now. *tee hee*

Thursday, October 30, 2003

I need some encouragement right now. I feel so bogged down with school work, I just slept away most of my business class that I'm getting a D in, I have to be at work today at 3 and I just missed the bus so I will be late again, I only have 25 cents for the bus and I need 50, I haven't talked to my mother in like 3 days, I haven't talked to my father in weeks and I don't even know where he is, nobody is online for me to talk to, I really need a ride to work, I miss my love.

I don't mean to scare any of you and I do want you all to know that I'm really fine but lately when I drive...

See, I have started to drive more carelessly. And I wonder "hmmm, what would happen if I just ran this red light?" I speed all the time. I see semi trucks and I think of my love. I think "come on, just run into me too, come on, do it." *sigh*

I am gonna be so late to work.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Mickey D's

Ok, it's finally after 10:30. So now what I'm gonna do is take my fat butt to McDonald's and get a number 2, which of course is 2 cheeseburgers. I shall eat them both and be full and fat and contented. After that, I shall go to work then later I am going to church. Really, I just want my food now....

I Guess I Went Trick-or-Treating

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Chiliz345 goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Cleopatra.
Gallies14 gives you 1 light orange spearmint-flavoured miniature candy bars.
Tu9110024 tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
RKaReisha tricks you! You get a moldy pretzel.
Superbowl37sd ca gives you 15 tan grape-flavoured gummy fruits.
Tgj12 gives you 6 red root beer-flavoured gummy fruits.
Chiliz345 ends up with 21 pieces of candy, and a moldy pretzel.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

I Had a Dream...

I had a dream this was all a dream.
It was the sweetest reverie.

I had a dream last night that Lamont was not really dead. I got to talk to him and I hugged him and I smacked Martina upside the head for telling me he was gone. But then we all laughed because we were just happy that he was there with us. Then I woke up.

Today I went to Symone's school, BJHS. She wants me to be a coach for this Destination Imagination thing. I talked to her teacher, Ms. Fogarty, she was really nice. She was stylin' too! So, Ms. Fogarty talked to me about it, and it seems pretty cool. I've been needing something to make me feel more useful anyway and I think that this will. Maybe I'm just adding more to my full plate though, I guess we'll see. I saw Dr. Fry today at the junior high. lol He's gonna be Symone's reading teacher when her current teacher goes on maternity leave. He already told Symone he's gonna call her CooCooCaChoo. KaReisha, you know what I'm talking about.

Poor Martina. They are leaving today to got to California for my love's funeral. Even though she seems to be doing fine I pick up on her spirit that she is so torn down on the inside. I need to pray much for her. It's funny because I can tell she tries to be strong for me, and I am definately trying to be strong for her but both of us are weak.

Now I must leave and go to math class. It's 40 after and I have to be there at 9. I probably will be late, it's no short drive to the U of H. It won't be the first time...

*Smile my friends.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I Don't Feel Like It

I don't feel like doing or being anything right now. I don't feel like doing homework or even being a student. I don't feel like doing my dishes that await me. I don't feel like blogging really... I don't feel like crying, or holding back tears. I don't feel like being strong. I don't feel like being an example or a role model. I don't feel like being nice. I don't feel like sleeping and I don't feel like being awake. I don't feel like talking on the phone. I don't feel like being around people. I don't feel like being alone. I really don't even feel like living right now. It's just too much work. Non stop, always doing this, doing that, going to school, going to work going to church, tryin to be happy because if you don't people say why are you looking so sad. Always being nice, always there for other people, and not to mention just dealing with myself. There is so much confusion going on in my mind right now that I can't sort my thoughts out at all except for what to write here. I feel like crawling under a boulder and having it squeeze all the breath out of my lungs and letting it squash me to death. At the same time I feel like getting away and having fun, not caring about anything, no responsibilities, no standards to live up to, just acting a plum fool. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow, I don't even want to go back for the rest of the semester. I really don't feel like going to work tomorrow, nobody better make me mad because I really just might cuss them out. If you can't imagine me doing that, well just belive me, it's in me.

I take my feelings which have the colors of crimson and orange and bright yellows and green.
The colors are so bright, so bright that they hurt my eyes.
So I choose not to look.
I color them black because black is the absence of color.
But you know how if you color a white paper with a crayon, you can still tell what color the paper was...
I know the colors are still there.
If I think the black might come off, I color furiously.
The color is too much for my eyes.
The colors are too real.
The black causes me no strain, the only struggle is to maintain it.
I am so sick of coloring. I don't feel like coloring anymore.
*If for some reason you now find yourself saying what the heck is she talking about, don't even worry about it. I know what I mean and I don't know if it really makes sense to you or not but I don't care.

So, I've Been Thinking.....

I've been thinking about this whole thing. (of course) I think I have come up with a theory or at least a reason why the Lord decided to give me my love then take him away. You see, I know the saying it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Lamont even wrote me a poem about that. Loving Lamont was really a huge challenge for me because I had never really loved before. I was afraid to love. I was afraid of getting my heart broken, I was afraid because true love was so new. Of course I had crushes and little puppy love, but this love was 100% real. I even tried to fight it at first, but I gave in. And let me tell you, love felt so so good. So maybe God let me love for that short while to allow me to be able to open up my heart for love again. Because whenever I find someone again, I feel like I will be more prepared or ready to love. I won't be afraid, but I will let it happen. I guess it's kinda like I was getting broken in. I don't know if that really makes sense or if you can see what I'm trying to say but I know what I mean... :)

My Smiling and Laughter is a Defense Mechanism

I talked to Martina last night, yesterday was her birthday. We had been talking for like 45 minutes and then there was a silent moment. She said, "Well, I'm glad to see you're in a nice cheery mood." because we had been laughing and joking. I sighed and said, "Well, really I'm not." because, I wasn't at all. For some reason, even when I tell people about Lamont's death this strange smile creeps up on my face. No, of course I'm not happy. I don't think it's funny and its not even a smile of relief knowing he's in a "better place" The smile is so I won't cry. I laugh and joke because I think that it will help ease my own pain. It doesn't. I want to help make other people feel better about it too. I don't know if it does that or not, probably not. I really can't help it though. So just to let you all know, when you see that smile, that smile is so full of pain. That smile hurts so so bad. That smile is filled with tears and questions of why I lost my love. The laughter is a mask. It is a wall so you won't see just how much it hurts. It's crazy because I even try to hide the pain from myself, if that makes any sense. I tell myself I'm fine, I don't need to cry, everything is as normal....But deep deep way deep down I know I am just lying to myself. Lying Lying Lying. But I can't help it.

Monday, October 27, 2003


I don't know what emotions to feel. I am sad. I am hurt. I am heartbroken. I am stoic. (ok, i don't remember exactly what that word means, but it sounds like it would be what i feel like.) i don't even feel like capitalizing my words. so i wont. my blog, do what i wanna do right? right. if i could really do what i want to, i would be talking to my love right now. not only talking to him, but he would be here with me and i would hold him so so tight and not let go and he would kiss me so softly and i would cry because i love him so much.....and he would say baby don't cry and i would say i can't help it my love and then he'd make me smile. i would tell him how much i love him and he'd say baby i'm so in love with you too. then he would kiss me some more. and if i had it my way, he would never leave. we would be together and i would be his wife and he would be my husband and i would have his children one day and i would cook for him and he would tell me how good the food is even if he didn't like it so much, cuz he wouldn't wanna hurt my feelings. :) but it would taste good though. if i had my way we'd be together always.

Rest in Peace My Love.....

I don't know how I'm gonna get through this blog because I have so much to say and I want to say it all at once but, that's not possible so please forgive me if my thoughts seem drifty.

Yesterday, I wasn't having a good day at all. My mother was seriously getting on my nerves, Symone was getting on my nerves, the pets were too. I went to church and was having a good time, then the saints started to get on my nerves. I was P.O.'d for most of the day. I could not wait until church was over to talk to my love and tell him about my day and have him make me laugh and forget about all the worries. We had 2 services yesterday and I wanted to call him between the 2 but he wasn't in Decatur yet. I talked to Martina though and told her to tell him I said hi and that I'd call last night.

When I finally got home for good, Mama checked the messages and told me Martina had called 3 times. The first message was around 1 something, after she had got out of church. The second was around 5ish and she said to call her as soon as I got the message and that it was very urgent. The last one just said to call her on her home phone and not the cell. Mama wouldn't let me just call, she made me do all this work first.

So finally I got to call. When she answered I was like "Girl, what's up?, what's going on?" because I was scared something happened to Lamont. She was silent. So I said again,
"Martina, what is going on??"
"It's Lamont...."
When she said that I froze. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say, but I thought, "surely, everything is ok," but I knew it wasn't.
"Martina, what do you mean?"
"It's hard to say..."
"Martina, please...wait, let me sit down...it's not what I think it is, is it? I mean, tell me what happened, please..."
"*Sigh* Elizabeth, Lamont is Dead."

O My God. That's all I could think. O my God. The tears began to flow down my face and I couldn't even speak. I just sat there, dazed and confused, in my chair, with tears running down my face. I didn't even want to talk to Martina, but I did because yes, Lamont was my love but he was her brother. They were tight like red beans and rice. They were so so close and I knew Martina wanted someone to talk to as much as I did. After I got off the phone with her, I talked to Sonia.

Now I have stopped crying but I know I will cry again. I told my mother this morning and she was quite sad because she could see how much I loved him. I REALLY loved him. He would tell me "I don't just love you, I'm totally IN LOVE with you, there's a difference..." I was so in love with him too. The last time we talked, he told me he wanted to 3way one of his boys so I could talk to him and I was shocked that he told his boys about me. He was like "Of course. I tell them 'This is the girl I'm gonna marry'" Martina would always tell me that he'd be all mopey and sad until he talked to me. He would always say " I wanna talk to my Elizabeth" He told me that talking to me ALWAYS brightened up his day no matter what had happened. As soon as he would talk to me, everything would be ok. He meant so much to me...

I love him in every way that a woman can love a man. From personal to universal, but most of all its unconditional.-India. Arie

I swear her music could be the soundtrack of my life. I would always sing him India. Arie songs. The last time we talked I sang a song called Beautiful Surprise.
It's like yesterday I didn't even know your name
Now today you're always on my mind
I never would have predicted that I'd feel this way, but,
You are a beautiful surprise

That's all I sang (i gave him songs in small doses, for his own good :), and he loved it. I wasn't gonna sing to him but he begged me, I mean, he was literally graveling. It was like he was begging for someone to give him back his shoes while standing in the snow. :) So I sang to my love...And there's so many other songs I wanted to sing to him. Like I told myself that when I meet him I would sing that old time song,
At laaaaast, my looove has come along.....
And then I would sing him Luther Vandross's
Oh, my love. A thousand kisses from you is not far too much..

Now I must just be strong and remember my love. I will always have a place in my heart for him, always always always. Even though my friends know that I loved him so much, they don't even know the extent of it.

It's interesting because me and Lamont had talked about this very same thing happening, and I told him that if anything ever happened to him that I would probably be angry with God, and that I didn't know if I could ever love like that again. He made me promise that I would never turn my back on God and that I would love again. He said if anything happened, that when I got to heaven, he would be waiting for me and we would dance toe to toe. -- Alright my love, when I walk through those pearly gates, you're the first one I wanna see after Jesus. Save that dance for me my love, don't you forget.--

Friday, October 24, 2003

Awwww YYYeeeeahhhhh!

Aww Yea, Aww Yea, *cabbage patch*. I fixed it!, I fixed it! *cabbage patch*

Yes!!! I thought my blog was doomed! Like I said I was trying to add comments and somehow made everything in my blog go away except for the last post. No links, no previous posts, it was crazy indeed. But I fixed it! I went in the template and messed around with the HTML stuff and fixed it!! I don't even know HTML!!! I think I would like to learn it though. Hm, who knows, maybe I have a future in computers....

But, please believe, I WILL get my comments section and I will do it by myself, no help, no nada. (I did it, I did it!....)

Aww Man

I don't know what the heck I have just done to my blog. Seems like I have erased everything prior to yesterday's blog and all of my links, but when I look at the template, everything seems like it is still in order. Apparently something is not. Hm. I know I can figure this out but maybe it will take some time. This all happened because I was trying to be cool and add a comment section. Oh! I think I know something that may work! I shall try to fix this problem....

Thursday, October 23, 2003

I'm in a bit of a rush...

I just finished a test in my business class. Not good. Today I had breakfast with Ashleigh, it was fun. We both skipped class *tsk, tsk*. I was only gonna skip religion but today I skipped Psychology too and who do I almost run into on my way to my next class? My Psychology teacher. Yea, it wasn't cool.

I talked to Lamont, my love, last night. We had a deep deep deep conversation. I really can't wait to meet him and be with him *sigh*. He is such a sweet and sensitive person. You really can't find a guy like him unless he's gay, and what good is that? No good at all. I finally found out, he's gonna send me some roses, isn't that sweet? I've never recieved roses from anyone. *tear* I do feel loved....

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Smoochie Smoochie

Yesterday I recieved the sweetest thing. OK, perhaps not the sweetest of all, but very sweet non-the-less. Lamont, my love, gave me a kiss! Ok, Ok, it was only a phone kiss, but still, it was so sweet!! I mean, when's the last time I got a kiss from anyone? Especially a male. Awwwww, that boy is too much, I'm telling you. There is just something about him... And you know what? I am a straight up sucker for sweetness! Man, he gets me everytime. Like if he wants me to sing him a song (which he LOVES), if I want to but don't feel as if I shoud (*ahem*) then all he has to do is put on that sweet sincere voice and throw in that "Please baby, please..." and I'm a singing fool. I absolutely LOVE when he calls me baby. *sigh* I tell ya, I'm a sucker. And man, I love talking to Martina because then I get all kinds of inside details! Yeah, those are nice. Like when she says "All he ever wants to do is talk to his Elizabeth. He always talks about you..." Man, I love that. Ole boi is crazy about me! Wow, me of all people. *sigh* *cheese*

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

The 80's Song that Fits Me Best

Sweet Dreams
"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Which 80's Song Fits You?
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I Got Beef

Ok, this has really been on my mind lately. Yes, I have beef. With who? McDonald's. (no pun directly intended.) Anyone who knows me well knows that my favorite item at Mickey D's is not the Big Mac, or the Quarter Pounder, or even the ever so popular McChicken. No, I am strictly a cheeseburger girl. Give me a single cheeseburger and you have made me a happy woman. Really. Now, my problem is this. McDonald's has a value meal with 2 cheeseburgers, which is what I usually get. (aka the #2) I only get the #2 because of the cheeseburgers, but I really only want one. Now, what I could do is get a happy meal (which is what I sometimes do..) but, um, they always look at me strange when I ask for a happy meal. I'm usually not happy with the happy meal anyway, because in addition to the meal not coming in the box with the golden arch handles as it did in the days of old (comes in a bag instead, how happy is that????), the happy meal has a small fry and drink. I need a medium fry and drink, and I don't think you can supersize a happy meal. So, if I just want my beloved cheeseburger and no fries or drink I have a problem. You see, the single cheeseburger is $1.15 (thank you Ashleigh). But, if I go to the dollar menu, I can get a double cheeseburger for $1.10. Something is wrong with this picture. What kind of world do we live in when for 5 cents more, I get less?? Somebody please tell me. Now, my good friend Ashleigh says, "Well you get more for less" but, I don't want more! I want my single, one thin cheeseburger. She says, "Then get the double, and take off the other patty of meat." No way!! That's not only a waste of time, but also a waste of food. Besides, it would mess up the whole sandwich anyway. You know it's impossible because the cheese is all stuck to the bread.....it just doesn't work right. I don't know what to do about this. Why don't they just have a cheeseburger value meal? One cheeseburger and a medium fry and drink. So simple, so simple. I guess that would just make too much sense....