Tuesday, August 31, 2004

There's something about academic adivisors that I just don't like. Everytime I go and see one of them, I end up feeling all sad and depressed afterwards, and I don't know why. Just today I went to see mine, and I talked to her about my graduating next semester. She looked at my transcript and said "You think you're gonna graduate next semester?". Now what the heck is that? How is that supposed to make me feel? My driving force of this semester is to get to next semester so I can graduate, and then she says that. So I'm starting to think, oh no, don't tell me I mis-calculated, that I have more than one semster to go. . . So I said "Yeah, I only need 18 more hours." Once she looked at my transcript she said "Oh, okay." That made me upset.

Then, I was telling her about what school I wanted to transfer to (UIUC folks) and she went to the website, but couldn't find what she was looking for. . . the whole thing was making me very upset, I don't know if its just me or what. Maybe because I'm tired. . .

I guess I'm kinda in an odd mood anyway, I went to this great workshop today and the guy was talking about goal setting and motivation and what not, so I was all on a high, feeling great. But now I feel so. . .I don't really know the word for it. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have spanish as my major, even though I love the language. Sometimes I get so intimidated, especially when I see or talk to people who speak it better than me. Or like when I went on the spanish interpreting/tutoring part of the website for U of I, all of the people were hispanic (well, at least their names were). And that makes me think, how can I possibly compete in a market with so many native spanish speakers? There is no way my spanish could ever compare. Yes, I would love to be an interpreter or something like that, traveling around the world, using the beautiful spanish language, but what are the odds that someone will hire me, little Elizabeth from the South Side of Chicago, when they can hire Isabel, originally from Mexico? Is my insecurity understandable? Is it not justified?

And what is to come of all my hard work with education? I'm doing my best to get done in 4 years, no more, maintain good grades and keep up with all my other responsibilities but is it gonna be worth the struggle? I want more out of life than just a degree and decent job. . .

This is all my advisor's fault.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Chiliz345: lol
Kareisha85: PLAYA PLAYA
Chiliz345: yezz yezz
Chiliz345: nah, im not a playa
Kareisha85: you just crush a lot
Chiliz345: LOL

Yes, KaReisha and Big Pun said it best. This captures the true essence of the mode I'm in now. So, to clear the record, I'm not a playa, I just crush ALOT. There ya go.

So I met this guy the other day, His name is Daniel, y el es mexicano. He doesn't speak english, so good thing I speak spanish right? Es MUY guapo. Ojos morenos, sonrisa como el sol....*sigh* And you know what he said to me? He said "me gustas". Am I smitten by this potential Latin lover? only time will tell.

But hey, I'm not a playa. I just crush alot.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Here I am, back in the swing of things. Today was the first day of classes for the fall semester. It was great seeing everybody again, some people I hadn't seen since I graduated. Like, for instace, I saw Dominique, that was cool. We talked for a bit, I showed him where his classes were. I saw a couple of Max's friends, we recognized each other and spoke for a bit too. I saw Marland (remember Debee?), who I haven't seen in forever, and just a whole bunch of people.

So, it seems like nobody thinks I can get through this semester. When everybody asks about classes and all that, and work, they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm taking 16 hours, which is a bit much, but it can be done. I'm also working 25 hours a week. That shouldn't be too bad. It won't be too easy, but not too bad ;) I saw Kabah today, and he bet me $50 that I wouldn't end the semester keeping all my classes at at C or above. He thinks I'll either drop one or (God forbid) fail one. So, come December, I expect my $50. yeeeaaahhh

My summer classes went okay, I got an A in spanish, and a C in English. Actually a C+ so I'm wondering how close I was to a B. They coulda bumped me up man!! I worked so hard in that class. . .

My spanish class starts in an hour, at 5:00, so I'm gonna do my homework from my business class and do a little work for Project Rise. This is going to be quite a semester.