Thursday, July 22, 2004

Holitas Amigos
Today I turned in my English Portfolio, what a relief. Now I just hope I pass the class. . . on the last paper I got an A, which is definately rare, but my grade in the class was still an F. No justice in English 101 people, no justice. I'm not worried though.

I only have spanish class left, just the final on tuesday. The class is so cool, we're all gonna go out to Fiesta Ranchera next Saturday, it should be fun times but I think I'm the only one who isn't legal drinking age. Como se dice virgin margarita? lol

Now I'm gonna go home, change clothes, and go to work. I'm tired, I didnt really get to sleep last night :( I need to call TJ Maxx too, to see when I work next. *sigh* hay mucho que hacer. I'm also very hungry.

This weekend my mother is leaving. Well, really just Saturday. Why is it that everytime I have the opportunity to have the house to myself, I'm busy and gone the whole time? Well, hopefully I'll stay out of trouble this weekend, there's enough of it for me to get into heh heh heh.

I've been wanting to write some poetry lately, and speaking of which I saw Kabah the other day. He was looking good, he had his hair done in some twisty things, I think he's gonna grow them into locs. That'll look good on him. I'm still thinking about doing my locs, thinking thinking thinking.

I miss all of my friends. I havent hung out with Tura all summer. I thought this summer was gonna be so much fun, hanging out all the time, catching up on college times, etc. Hardly any of that. But, I'm just working hard, doing what I gotta do to get where I gotta go. Peace.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Boyfriend Update
woooooooooo wooooooooo wooooooooooo
Sound The Alarm!! Another one is on the way!!!!
Ok, belive it or not (i'm still in the not category) another guy is interested. Yes, that would make six.  Right now I have as many 'boyfriends' as I have jobs, thats crazy. The new one, he's a friend of a friend and I haven't even met him yet. I was talking to friendboyJ and he was telling me his "guy" wanted to "holla at me". Yeah. I find it kinda hard to believe just because. . . well, I don't really know why. So I told him he could give the guy (his name is Ibae, pronounced E-bay. and, I think he might be african yeeaahh) my number and we'll see from there.
*sigh* I would say they're coming to me like flies to poop, but I don't wanna compare myself to poop,  so I'll say like bees to a flower. Yeah thats a little better.
Other than that, I started my 5th job, TJ Maxx. Its cool, I like it so far but now I just have to balance my schedules out with TJ, Claires, Project Rise, and the Bookstore. I'll worry about Mary Kay later. Everybody says I'm gonna burn myself out, which may be true. See, I've just been giving my availiblity for whenever I'm not working at my other jobs which has me working some 11 hour days and such. Craziness.
My portfolio for English is due tomorrow, so the rest of my day (besides church tonight) will be devoted to revisions and the like. I think I'll keep the No Doz handy *wink*.
The praise dancers have just learned a new dance, its sooo nice. We did it for the youth explosion and it was really great, such a blessing. Other than that, teaching sunday school has been pretty good. I'm gonna be teaching the pre-teen class next week so I need to study the lesson. When do I have the time??????
Pray for me.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

I left la clase de espanol early today because I have an interview. Last night the lady called me from Motherhood Maternity, the store I put in an application at forever ago, and she wanted me to come in at 1:30 for an interview. Problem is, I don't get out of class until about 1, and I take the bus, there's no way I'd get there in time, and she needed to do my interview pronto, seems like she really wants to hire me. When I told Sr. Profesor that I'd need to leave class early, he gave me this look like "You already know this stuff, who cares?" then we both laughed. It's good to be in good standing with the teacher, yes, yes. So I'm praying that if it's God's will for me to get this job, that I'll get it. I'm wondering if for Fall semester I can work at MM, Peer Mentor (did i tell you about that?) and Claire's too. If I get about 10 hrs at each, that might work out, but I know that my education is much more of a priority than money right now (as much as it hurts to say that), so I gotta keep my goals in order.

Boyfriend Update:
So tonight me and AJ are going out, we're going to Ruby Tuesday's and then to watch a movie. It should be fun times, but I'm not really thinking of it as a date because he's my friend, even though he's trying to be more.

I haven't talked to Keith in a while, and I really want to. I think we need to discuss somethings. I curse the distance between us! *shakes fist*

Max and I are planning on going to the movies next weekend, that should be fun.

I talked to Brian yesterday. He's the only one besides Sonia who refers to me as "Sexy". Hm. I wanna hang out with him, he is such cool people.

I saw Jeffrey today. He was wearing this red shirt, he looks gooood in red. I miss our nightly phone chats and bonding :( That's my boy, my dawg, mi amigo, my homie. Yeah.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I don't know what I keep getting myself into. I managed to be asked out on a date. Yes, yet another guy who's into me. Come on, lets stop the madness (well, i guess its kinda fun). I was talking to dude, inviting him to church and all (u know how I do). We got on the subject of how he used to like me back in high school, which was so weird, cuz I used to like him too. Anyway, he ended up asking me on a date (ya know, dinner and a movie, how nice) even after I told him about my other guys. He didn't seem to mind. Whatever.

School is almost over, I'm so happy. But now is crunch time, I gotta get a whole bunch of stuff revised for my English portfolio, and get some studying done for Spanish. que divertido!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Its July already.

On one hand, im glad to be in school this summer. It gives me something to do during the day. It gives my mind some stimulation that I definately wouldn't be getting during the summer. And, if I do good in both of my classes, it will definately raise my GPA, which I think is my main goal. But, its also a struggle taking summer classes. Especially english. I mean, having to write an 8 page paper over a weekend is just a little stressful. Especially if you are known to procrastinate (like yours truly). So I'm doing my best. I'm gettin an A in Spanish, and well, lets say not an A in English. Its okay though, i'm not going to let it be the end of my world. Today I got a spanish test back. I got a B. I was really upset, but I really just have to let these things go, because they will drag me down otherwise.
Im running on 'E' today, just totally empty. All i've eaten so far is a honey bun and drank a Pepsi Vanilla. It was good though. I tried to put sugar and caffeine in my system to make up for the lack of sleep i've been getting all week. Last night I only got 3 hours, and thats only because I overslept for 1 hour. I need to go home and sleep, but I have this paper to write this weekend. I need to study my spanish, cuz I can't keep getting B's on tests, that is so not acceptable. I'm thinking about Jeffrey cuz apparently he's mad at me, and we need to have a talk. I haven't talked to him in a while... Also I miss Max, which is just crazy because I didn't even think that I liked him until I let him go. Funny how that works. I've been debating whether or not I should call him, just to see what's up. I dunno.

I just don't know.

Keith asked me about our relationship. What is it? Where is it going? Too much to think about, I really don't know. Julius said that a "real woman" knows what she wants, etc. A lot of people think that way, but i thought about it, and I concluded that a "real woman" has to make up her mind just like any other, and that she may even take longer in doing so because she wants to make the right decision. That makes more sense to me.

This always happens, I find myself juggling so many things at once. School and grades, friends (all home from college, i've only hung out with a few), "boy-friends" (and all that drama), which also encompasses this thing called Love, Church/God, plus my obligation to the praise dancers, work (don't even get me started on that), family, wanting to move out, thinking about my future (what the heck am I gonna do after HCC???), thinking about my present, just everything swimming in my head, swimming around me. It's only through God that I have peace. Im trying to find some balance, but is balance possible? Is life meant to be balanced?

I often find myself hungry. My mother says I don't eat enough, and I think this may be true. But sometimes I eat enough, and sometimes more than enough. But now, I'm hungry.

I didn't mean to complain so much, just kinda let my mind wander. Reguardless of all that stuff, I know that I am still SO blessed, blessed and highly favored. That's a wonderful feeling. Thank You Lord.