Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Hott Double Date

Tonight Sonia and I have a hot date with 2 of the finest young men in Bloomington/Normal. Ok, maybe 2 of the finest young men who work at Wal*Mart. . .well maybe just 2 young men.

Originally Tura was supposed to go, but alas, I guess it wasn't meant to be. We should do a triple, so Tura and Jeffrey could come too. That would be fun and crazy at the same time.

I have been instructed to look cute, now should I take this as an insult? Is that supposed to mean that I would come not looking cute, or that I don't look cute on a daily basis? Am I not cute in my jeans and hoodie? Do you not like my T-shirts and gym shoes? What is this madness???

So here I am, doing my best to look cute. I have my hair 'did'. (. . .I know that ain't your ponytail, because your 'bang's too short!') I put on a touch of makeup and although I'm still wearing jeans, they're nice ones and I have a cute shirt on. Do you think I'll be cute enough?

Really, can I get any cuter? lol, just kidding

Now I must leave to study for and take my spanish test that I've know about for a whole week and still didn't study for in advance. Que horrible! I missed my first class this morning because I was tooooo tired to get up. Why was I tired? Because I had to look cute today, which meant doing my hair, which meant I needed to wash it, and that should say everything. What a nightmare.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Let me tell you something. . .
I like my approach and I think it's original and unique. Who wants to do the same old thing that everybody else is doing? not me. So, thank you, but i don't really care if you don't like it. hm.

Hey, Elizabeth, what's wrong?

My back hurts, and my stomach is upset. Why?

It's snowing outside.

My blog picture is gone! I'm gonna find yet another template and pimp it out. yeah

I have to go to class.

I need to get my Knox application in, but I don't know what else to say on my essay.

I really don't wanna go to class.

In the still of the night
Lying in your arms, being held tight
As you fell fast asleep,
Lover, I began to weep.

Your chest rose and fell
As I thought of all I wanted to tell
Of my insecurities, hopes and fears
But all that did escape was a tear

The first tear ran down my cheek
and fell to your skin
The tear dedicated to my greatest sin

(perhaps i shall finish this later. perhaps it shall go unfinished. . .)

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

That was soooo freakin weird

I'm in the computer lab (I've been here allll day) workin on some last minute stuff the day before break. I'm sitting here, working, working, working (I should always work this hard) and the girl next to me has been here for a while too. She's a pretty-ish girl, and she has that dyed black hair, and I don't care what I'm wearing look. She seemed nice, till she freaked me OUT !!!

She sneezed, so I said "Bless you". She didn't say thank you or anything, which didn't bother me at all. The she sneezed again, I said "bless you" again and she whipped her head in my direction, and gave me this blank, icy look. She said "Don't bless me, it burns. . ."
I'm sitting there, looking at her with this big dumbfounded look because all I wanna do is pray and call on my sweet Jesus to come get me, and see about this girl.

Honestly, she scared me. She scared the bajeezus out of me, and I kinda wanted to run. I didn't know if her head would start spinning around, Exorcist style, or if some demons would come out of her and start runnin up on me, or what. But, I was scared. I'm still kinda scared, and she is still next to me, and I haven't looked at her since.

See, this is why you gotta leave the house prayed up, cuz these people are crazy out here.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Symone's big happy self, last Christmas I think. (Note the Spongebob in her hand. scary) Posted by Hello
So, as you can tell, I've recently learned how to put pics on my blog!! I"m so excited, I know I need to be working on this paper that's due in 2 hours that I've known about for 2 weeks now but you know how I procrastinate *breath* but why do that when I can post pictures?!?!?

Blogger has once again gotten the best of me. *_*

Now I definately have to get a digital camera.

I cannot wait to get some more pics on here!!!!

*CHEEEEESE!!* this is cousin anthony, flasing a nice BIG smile :D Posted by Hello

I think this picture is so cute. My mother and Daryl, I think at at thanksgiving or one of those family-get-together-everybody-eating things Posted by Hello

This is my father and I at my graduation. . .yea, I look good in purple *_* Posted by Hello

Graduation 2003. . .the last of my high school days Posted by Hello

Here is another pic of cousin Jerome. . .Do we look alike? Posted by Hello

This is my cousin Jerome, I spoke to him for the first time last night!! The baby in the picture is my aunt's daughter, so I guess that makes her my cousin too right? Ahh, family =) Posted by Hello

Friday, November 19, 2004

Please Be Nice

What ever happened to people being nice? It seems everybody has an attitude these days, chill out people!

Like this morning, I needed change for a $5 so I could get myself a drink. Since I refuse to patronize the "Campus Cafe" (I'll not digress on this right now), I went to the vending machine, but I did go to the Cafe to get my change. This lady was snappin. First, when I walked in, the lady looked at me crazy right off the bat. She stands at the counter, with this look on her face like "What do you want?? I'm waitiiiiing. . ." Keep on waiting then! Dang. . .
"Hi, can I get change for a $5 please?" (being very nice as usual)
Then, she gives me another crazy look, just full of attitude.
"Well, let me see if I even have change."
You know you got some change! Dang! You're running this little establishment and you don't know if you have 5 $1's in your drawer? Come on now. . .
She starts looking in the drawer, acting like maybe she doesn't have 5 singles, but even I can see she has at least 10-15 in the thing. She starts whipping them out of the drawer, like I just messed up her whole day.
"*SIGH* Well, this time I do have it, but next time, you need to go to the cashier. Don't you know you have a cashier at this school?
Do you really think that I'm going to go in a whole different building to go to the cashier (which is intended for things like, erm, Tuission Payments) when all I need is change for a $5 to get a drink, and you are right down the hallway with a drawer full of money? I don't think so. Homie don't play dat.
She couldn't just be like, "I'm sorry, but the cash in this drawer is just for purchases" Noooo, she had to snap out.
The computer lab has this policy: "Do not eat or drink in the lab. Keep all bottles, cans, cups, etc. sealed, on the floor, or in a bag at all times. Ok, thats cool but I have to say I usually don't abide by it too strictly. I'll sit here and munch on my little cheese crackers, or pretzels as I type away, and swig a couple of drinks of my beverage of choice while I "surf the net". No big deal unless I see the. . .dun dun dunnnnnnn
Computer Lab Nazi!!!!
She's a seemingly sweet, and often helpful lady but don't get 'caught' drinking or eating.
I swear, if you don't strategically sneak your sips and nibbles, this lady will practically spiral down from the ceiling and lasso you to your chair and give you a good ol' scolding.
I was chillin in my seat, drinkin my drink, doin like I do. All of a sudden, this woman pops out of nowhere (let me add that she's about 50) and is all up in my grill!
"Um, Excuuuse me, Excuuuse me!"
I look up at her, thinkin 'What in the heeezzeee??' She says
"Whose drink is This?"
Aww dang, here we go.
"It's mine, I'm sorry. . ."
She plops a fist on her hip, and points to the little sign above me.
"Read that sign"
Ok, dang , I just said I was sorry
"Alright, I'll put it away. . ."
"There is NO drinking in the computer lab. . .!!"
Look here lady
"If you want to take a drink you must go outside of the lab"
"Alright, sorry, I just. . ."
"And whose drink is that?"

Aw, Now she's snappin on my friend. We both got treated by this woman! Whatever happened to "excuse me, but there's no drinking in the computer lab, but you can take your drink outside the lab if you want to drink it"

What happened to being nice? Give peace a chance or something. . .dang

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Paulie Baby

Paul Lawrence Dunbar, I love this guy. He's one of the most famous black poets, but you might not have heard of him. well now you have! (these are pieces of works, not whole poems)

He writes about love. . .
Dis hyeah love 's a cu'rus thing,
Changes 'roun' de season,
Meks you sad or meks you sing,
'Dout no urfly reason.
Sometime I go mopin' 'roun',
Den agin I 's leapin';
Sperits allus up an' down
Even when I 's sleepin'.

SEE dis pictyah in my han'?
Dat's my gal;
Ain't she purty? goodness lan'!
Huh name Sal.
Dat's de very way she be --
Kin' o' tickles me to see
Huh a-smilin' back at me.

Often when I 's all alone
Layin' here,
I git t'inkin' bout my own
Sallie dear;
How she say dat I 's huh beau,
An' hit tickles me to know
Dat de gal do love me so.

He writes about feeling depressed
STANNIN' at de winder,
Feelin' kind o' glum,
Listened to de raindrops
Play de kettledrum.

Mandy, bring my banjo,
Bring de chillen in,
Come in f''om de kitchen,
I feel sick ez sin,
Call in Uncle Isaac,
Call Aunt Hannah, too,
Tain't no use in talkin',
Chile, I 's sholy blue!

He writes of siblings
Now you, John Henry, 'tain't no use
To stan' up daih an' mak no 'scuse.
You need n't tink you foolin' me,
I sutny has got eyes to see!
Oh I 's yo' sistah, yes, dat 's true;
But den what good 's dat gwine to do?
Dey ain't no use in tellin' lies,
You look right sheepish f''om yo' eyes!
(this reminded me of Symone)

Monday, November 15, 2004

All I want for Christmas is. . . .

I get the question every year, "what do you want for christmas?". When asked, I never know, so I decided to give it some early thought. If people can put up Christmas lights before Thanksgiving, I can surely think about a few things I might like to have.

Digital camera
Manual camera (for my photography class)
Luggage (for my travel *_*)
Money (that will always make the list)
A new Computer
That seems to be it, I think that's all I really want.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Whistle While You Work

I meant to write about this yesterday, but I couldn't under the circumstances that the subject was sitting right next to me (you know sometimes we have those computer screen peekers, hey I'm guilty too), and also I got distracted by unexpected company.Anyway, I'm sitting at the computer, doing my thang. The kid next to me, he was pretty nice, we had chatted a bit. I resume doing my work, and he continues to do his, no problem. Then he put on his headphones. Awww hecky naw. . .

Now, headphones can bring a variety of problems. One being that you can sometimes hear the music the other person is listening to, and if its some head-banging metal or some strange digital-tehno sounding type stuff, it can put a damper on my state of mind. But that wasn't the problem. Another headphone problem is humming. When jamming to your music, sometimes you are unaware of the world around you, and you get caught up in your jam and think you're actually on the CD too. You might think you're humming/singing quietly, but everybody and their mama can hear you. That wasn't the problem.

Since ol' boy had the headphones on, he obviously couldn't hear himself. First, his breathing got reeeeeaallll heavy, like he was sleeping. But he wasn't. I mean, he was almost like, snoring. This is when it got reeal bogish.

This man started whistling.

Not whistling with his mouth, like usual, no, he got that nose whistle thang goin on. You know about that, you've had it too. And it was LOUD. It wasn't your quiet, almost inaudible nose whistle, like wwweeeeeeeee, woooooooooooo (yes, thats the sound of a nose whistle ok?) Nah, it was loud like
weeeeeeeee, woooooooooo
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wooooooooooooooooo
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee, woooooooooooooooo

Now, I'm not one to get easily annoyed, but this was too much! It was like a scream! This man, sitting up here nose whistling, all loud, all up in my ear, nah. not cool. Especially when i think its gonna stop, but you keep going for 10 MINUTES!!! daaaaannnnggg man!

Just had to vent about that.

Monday, November 08, 2004


I've come to the conclusion that I'm weird. Ok, maybe peculiar sounds a little better. Yes, I am peculiar.

See, I've always been different than everybody else, even as a child. I was smaller than everyone else (almost runt-like). I'd rather stay inside and bury myself into the pages of a great book for hours on end than turn double-dutch and run behind my friends while they rode their bikes. I never did learn how to ride a bike. . .

My favorite place to go, more than anywhere else in the world (except for maybe my grandmother's house), was the Harold Washington Library downtown. That place is freakin HUGE! It was like my young version of heaven, where the streets were paved with carpet and the walls were covered in. . .books. The library was the SPOT!

Then, there's the way I always hung around the 'grown folks'. I think this is mostly because up until the age of 6, I was an only child, and grown folks is who I was usually surrounded by. But then, it got to the point where at family gatherings, I'd be sitting around with the grand-folks (you know, grandparents and those old aunts and uncles) listening to their stories and such, while all the other kids were livin it up and having a high time playing in the grass.

On field trips, when we partnered up, if there was an extra person he-she would have to be the teacher's partner. I loved being the teacher's partner!

Now, don't get me wrong. I definately wouldn't label myself as being a 'nerd' back in those days (but maybe I'm biased), I had my cool points. I had plenty of friends, and they loved the heck out of me. Then again, they did get mad when their parents asked why they couldn't be more like me. (not funny, this happened more times than even I believed!)

And now, especially lately, I've come to realize how peculiar I really am. Who else knows a black girl from the south side of Chicago (wild 100's ya'll-but you might not know nothin' bout that) who gets classical music stuck in her head and speaks to people in spanish on a regular basis regardless of whether they understand or not? And who likes to spell some words the european way (which everyone says is wrong) just becuase it seems right, like grey? Or who has no problem wearing her hair wrapped in a range of colors and prints on a daily basis for months on end? There's too many things to list!

I'm peculiar.
But it's okay.
I know you still love me anyway :)

Friday, November 05, 2004


warm and fuzzy
red and sultry
deep and caring
strong and daring
my protection
in affection
you, my friend
in Love
again and again
that crazy thing
(what does I Love you mean?)
I have Beethoven's fifth symphony in my head. Thats the one that goes dun-dun-dun-DUN, dun-dun-dun-DUNNNNN. That's the jam.

After sitting at this computer for an hour and a half, I've decided to start my paper. I have to find some motivation. I was thinking my motivation could be sickness.
Because I'm sick of seeing my people in the state that they're in. I just started to really feel this on another level.
Maybe I should write about it later so I can get this paper done. That would be a good idea.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I was watching a movie where each night the family sat down to dinner (hah) and each person went around and said their high and low for the day. I like that.
High-Talking to my "soul mate" today (*wink* lol). He told me he liked my poem, and I love the way he's mad feeling me on knowing that only I know its true meaning. That was so deep to me, because most people can't even go there, which is why I'm always leery of sharing my poetry.
Low- Talking to Sonia today, she's having such a bad day. When she's sad, I'm sad, but I have to do my best to be strong for her because I love her so much. And thats what I have to do.

I went to vote yesterday, that was cool. I still don't know if they've decided the president yet, but I'm so sure Bush is gonna win. Just one of those feelings. What can ya do? Vote. I did that, so I guess I just leave it alone.

Lately my sister has been on this kleptomaniac thing, I don't know what's wrong with the girl. I even experienced it firsthand a couple of nights ago. I went to pick up mama from work, and I had Symone and her 2 friends (twins) in the car. We go into Party City to wait until she finished up her work, and Symone and her friends separated from me. I went over to where they were later, and Symone's back was facing me. She was talking to the twins about some boy or another, and she turned around to face me, then turned back.
"Come on guys, I'll tell you later so some people won't be in our business."
She proceeds to walk down the aisle
"Wait Symone, come here. Let me check your pockets."
Sister's instinct.
"What? What for? Man. . ."
Getting an attitude. mm hm.
"Just come here. . ."
I proceed to grab her.
"Um, wait, I just gotta show Rae and Devin something"
Powerwalks down the aisle. That girl never walks that fast.
In that motherlike voice. Have you ever sounded like your mother? scary. As she walks down the aisle and turns the corner, I'm watching her every movement like a hawk. Sure enough (she must think i'm dumb, or blind, or that she's incredibly slick) I see her fling something out of her pocket. She turns the corner and I go to see what it is. Lo and behold, a baby bottle pop in the midst of Sponge Bob napkins and paper plates. hmmm, wonder how that got there.
I reapproach her
"Come here Symone"
In that calmest voice ever.
"SEE, nothing in my pockets, just some tissue, a gum wrapper. . ."

My mother's all like "what did I do wrong" and I'm trying to tell her that most parents don't raise their children to do bad things, but we have a lot of people in this world who do. Each one has to make their own decision. What is one to do?

Ok, I'm almost done. I just HAVE to tell you about this email I got today. Now, we know that Knox is mad expensive ($31,000) and yes, I have a scholarship for $5,000 (praise the Lord) but that doesn't do much. Of course there's financial aid and all that, but this email I got today was reguarding a scholarship. A $30,000 renewable scholarship.
How weird/cool/timely is that? They don't just have $30,000 renewable scholarships. I'm stunned and wondering. Hm. Wow.

Monday, November 01, 2004

I'm gonna do it. I was nervous at first. I was afraid. But now I think I'm ready to apply to Knox College. I think of how great it would be to go there, all the oppourtunities it would open up. Are you excited for me?

What's been up lately
I know lately I haven't been writing about much of anything. I think because I've been in this dissonant state of depression and anxiety and even incoherentness. (yes, im using those college words) I've been feeling so disconnected from my world, but still burdened with the problems of it. I want to blame it on DST (daylight savings time) and the rotation of Mother Earth around the sun and the change in seasons. I want to blame it on the strain of working and going to school and being active in church and feeling like I'm not doing enough when I know I'm doing too much. I want to blame it on that man, and what he's doing to me, and the effect I'm letting him have on me. I've always considered myself a strong person. Maybe I only look like a rock, but am made of putty.
But let's not dwell on that.

Today is Tura's birthday!!! She's the big 2-0, the big tweezy, off the heezy. . .ok i'll stop. FELIZ CUMPLEANOS mi amiga!!!
We went to "celebrate" her birthday on Saturday. After I got off work, Me, Tura and Sonia all went across the parking lot to Chili's and ate and had a good time. It was fun, even though we are so lame that all we could do was eat to celebrate. But that's okay tho. I am both comfortable and confident in the lameness of both me and my friends. *nod*

Last night Max took me to the movies, we had a nice time. We saw SharkTale, which surprised me, because he's the one who actually picked it out. I didn't think he' want to see something like that, being so serious as he is.

I feel like writing a poem.

Not ready to keep waiting
But still I'm hesitating
So afraid of what our love could bring
Not so sure of seeing you with me
Bending myself to your lust
Counting backwards from 10 with each thrust
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Is this your idea of fun
You hold me so close
In my stomach a feeling so morose
Knowing that You + Me = Three
And three would mean forever We