I'm gonna do it. I was nervous at first. I was afraid. But now I think I'm ready to apply to Knox College. I think of how great it would be to go there, all the oppourtunities it would open up. Are you excited for me?

What's been up lately
I know lately I haven't been writing about much of anything. I think because I've been in this dissonant state of depression and anxiety and even incoherentness. (yes, im using those college words) I've been feeling so disconnected from my world, but still burdened with the problems of it. I want to blame it on DST (daylight savings time) and the rotation of Mother Earth around the sun and the change in seasons. I want to blame it on the strain of working and going to school and being active in church and feeling like I'm not doing enough when I know I'm doing too much. I want to blame it on that man, and what he's doing to me, and the effect I'm letting him have on me. I've always considered myself a strong person. Maybe I only look like a rock, but am made of putty.
But let's not dwell on that.

Today is Tura's birthday!!! She's the big 2-0, the big tweezy, off the heezy. . .ok i'll stop. FELIZ CUMPLEANOS mi amiga!!!
We went to "celebrate" her birthday on Saturday. After I got off work, Me, Tura and Sonia all went across the parking lot to Chili's and ate and had a good time. It was fun, even though we are so lame that all we could do was eat to celebrate. But that's okay tho. I am both comfortable and confident in the lameness of both me and my friends. *nod*

Last night Max took me to the movies, we had a nice time. We saw SharkTale, which surprised me, because he's the one who actually picked it out. I didn't think he' want to see something like that, being so serious as he is.

I feel like writing a poem.

Not ready to keep waiting
But still I'm hesitating
So afraid of what our love could bring
Not so sure of seeing you with me
Baby
Bending myself to your lust
Counting backwards from 10 with each thrust
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Is this your idea of fun
Hun
You hold me so close
In my stomach a feeling so morose
Knowing that You + Me = Three
And three would mean forever We
Scary.