I've been wanting to blog lately, but I haven't and I think the major reason why is because my thoughts have been consumed. My mind and heart have been being overtaken by thoughts of the boy, so I guess it doesn't make much for interesting reading, although the thoughts, to me, are very interesting indeed.

So I try to think of other things to talk about. My life is pretty much the same old, same old. School is starting to kick my butt. Seems like I had it in a headlock at the beginning of the semester, but after midterms I started getting weaker and now it's wrestling me to the ground. I'm not putting up nearly enough of a fight.

I lost my class ring and I really want it back. I like rings. I like my class ring. I'm talking about nothing.

I spent some time with Tura the other day, helping her with her portfolio. It was good times. I hardly ever get to see the girl.

Therese-I miss you girl! I dunno when ur finals are over, or when ur coming back, but I hope to be seeing you in a few weeks.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to stay awake in class.

Peace, okay.
I don't play
See my pinky,
See my thumb,
See my fist,
You betta run!

That was one of the classics from waaay back in the day, like second grade. When we all thought we were the stuff.

So, I had a speech due today. What is it with me and my speeches? I tried to write it last night, but I always do this, I end up spending more energy trying to stay awake than actually doing what I need to do. My mother comes in the living room around 3:00 and tells me to get in the bed. So, I ended up writing my speech this morning, on the bus! No joke. The ride is about half an hour, you know I was writing like mad. But, all thanks and glory to God, because He really showed up and showed out this time.

I wrote the speech on India. Arie, it was a presentation speech. We had to make an award for the person, I grabbed the inlay of her CD and a rose before I left. Wrote the speech, made up some good stuff to say, all off the top of my head. I even put some song lyrics of hers in there, which, yes, I sang. I gave the class a lil sum' sum' of "Video" and of "Talk to Her". I got a 96% on that speech, you know that was nothing but God.

Right now tengo mucho hambre.

"A severe thymic atrophy with cortical thymocyte depletion is a consistent finding in necropsies of malnourished subjets."--Come on!!

I feel like giving up sometimes. On everything.

I just can't give up now
Come to far from where I started from
Nobody told me
The road would be easy
I don't believe he brought me this far
To leave me

Tidbits

My back hurts really bad. A friend was talking to me and he said something along the lines of "put some hot towels on your body and give you a massage." Hmmm, yes, very tempting offer indeed. But, I think that's a check I won't cash in, just to be on the safe side. *nod*

So, anyway, I have the house to myself ALL weekend "party at my place!!" yeah right. I was hoping to invite friendboyJ over, maybe watch a movie or something, but for some strange reason my mother said specifically "Don't be havin *friendboyJ* over here while I'm gone." Hmph.

I'm officially quitting Claire's. For real this time. Yea, I've been trying to leave there since about 2001, months after I started, but this time is for real.

Next weekend I plan on going up to see KaReisha! yay! We will have fun, I can' t wait to meet Jordanny *wink wink*.

Finals are coming up soon. I really need to study for my A&P (anatomy and physiology) one, and my math one. Grrr.

I guess that's all for now. I love you all. I hope we all have great weekends, try not to stress out, and have a bit of fun for me ok?

She busted out with the 143. What a trip.

So I did my speech the other day, and it should come as no surprise to me that I did a wonderful job. (I'm not trying to be cocky, sorry if I'm coming off that way) I got an A on the speech, I only missed 2 points, but GAH she had to take off 10 more because it was late. That's okay though, I'm so grateful she bent the rules for me. I'll take the 10 point dock. So, 5:00 a.m. I'm thinking "who the heck can I do this speech on?" I was gonna do it on somebody famous and great, but I couldn't find enough information quickly enough to make myself a whole, complete picture of the greatness of the person, so I figured the 2 people I knew a lot about were Jesus and me. I couldn't possibly do a speech on myself, so "Jesus, here we go." Then I realized, what I know about Jesus is really just a variety of assorted facts, like a box of chocolates instead of a chocolate bar. That wouldn't do. But I couldn't possibly give a speech on myself and tell the whole class how "great I am". Or could I?

So here's what I did. The speech was all about me, no doubt, but I made it like it was about my sister, 'Elisa'. No, I have no sister Elisa, but nobody knew that except for me. It was great. I had to really contain myself from cracking up when giving the speech. I'm so bad. I'm so good.

Today should be a nice relaxing day. I have the major stress off of me from the speech and all the piling up assignments. I am ready to chill, really I'm ready to have some fun. Too bad friendboyJ has sooo much on his plate, or else we would hang out. Stupid plate. Anyway, times have been great with friendboyJ lately, he's great. I hope you get to meet him.

Finals are coming up. I should be a good student and start preparing for them now. I think I just might do that. I cannot WAIT till I'm out of school, yea, I only get a 2 week break because I'm taking summer classes, but hey-that's 2 weeks of fun. TOO BAD SONIA WILL BE GONE.

what am i doing?

this is so bad. my speech class is at 8:00. it is now 5:25. I have no speech. why don't i have a speech? Because I am so dumb!! I could beat myself and burst into tears at the same time. all because im a procrastinator. i couldve had this speech done. Its's already late!! now i find myself here, not having slept because i've been on the computer since 9p.m. i find myself here, frustrated. i find myself ready to give up. i find myself calculating my grade if i miss a whole speech. my eyes are closing. i have only half an hour to write this speech, i 'get up' at 6:00. except i wont be getting up, im already up. my head hurts and things are starting to look fuzzy. i wish i could cheat. no thats not right. the syllabus says speeches can't be made up, but God has given me favor with this teacher before (yes, ive been in this situation before, why didnt i learn then) i dont want her to feel like im taking advantage of her. MY ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ON!!!! i wil probably end up with a C if i dont do this speech. not fun for the gpa. i could cuss myself out. cant we have a slight natural disaster? i just looked out the window to see if maybe there was a tornado ripping toward my house, but no. birds are singing and the sun is coming up. Lord help me.

See, I do have a life

Today was a fun day. I cleaned up (yes, i needed that badly), and then Sonia, Crystal, and me went to the park and enjoyed nature. Basically, that means that we went to the park and laid down on my blanket and chilled. Now, friendboyJ says this is boring, and that there is enough green in his yard for him to enjoy nature, so why go to the park to do that? I say why not? Why not bask in the glory of the fresh air and sunshine on this opportune day to converse?

So, the park was a nice time. After that we went out to eat. The waitress brought crackers to go along with our soup, and this brought back to mind a challenge Tura, Mike, Sonia, some girl, and I were talking about. something along the lines of eating 5 saltine crackers in 30 seconds. Of course, I thought this was definately possible, without doubt. So, between Amelia, Crystal, Sonia and I, the most crackers eaten in 30 seconds was 2. I still think I can do it, mind over matter. Anyhow, our waitress was mad cool. She didn't laugh at our big pile of plastic cracker paper we had made, and she knew to bring enough lemon so we could hook up our own free lemonade. If you don't know about the free lemonde, let me school you on that another time. *wink* Then with the leftover lemonade we played drinking games, the one with the salt and the lemon, you know. Except we played it with water, not alcohol, cuz we cool like that. *sniff* yeah *nod*.

So then we went to evil Wal-Mart (where of course I didn't buy anything, and neither should you!!). We found ourselves in the game aisle, and we decided to have some fun. Being one of the few people my age who has never been kicked out of Wal-Mart, I thought tonight was gonna be the night. We played basketball and a brief game of monkey in the middle, but our fun kept being interrupted by a kid riding down the aisle on a bike. Now that was strange. We hula-hooped, and we even galloped on stick horses! That was the best part, 2 college students, having the best time in fake cowboy hats and plush stick horses (mine was actually a lion), trotting up and down the stuffed animal aisle in Wal-Mart.

Us, boring???.....NOooo

Classic moments
Chiliz345 [1:04 AM]: . . . but more like friends with benefits, if u catch my drift
Chiliz345 [1:05 AM]: without being in a relationship per say
Gallies14 [1:05 AM]: so u want him to be a clean version of a booty call
Chiliz345 [1:05 AM]: lmbo
Chiliz345 [1:05 AM]: LMBO!!!
Chiliz345 [1:06 AM]: oh, oh, oh, let me compose myself
Gallies14 [1:06 AM]: lol


Gallies14 [1:11 AM]: I smell good and stink at the same time
Gallies14 [1:11 AM]: how does that work
Gallies14 [1:11 AM]: I can still spell the soap on me
Gallies14 [1:11 AM]: but I think i also stink
Chiliz345 [1:11 AM]: well.

I was in Subway, looking at the menu for something good to eat, besides from the turkey or tuna that I usually get. I thought the chicken sandwich might be nice, so I asked the lady what sauce tastes good with the chicken. She responded:
"I don't know, I don't eat chicken."
-With chicken being one of the meats that I actually do eat, I could not fathom why she didn't, so I asked her:
"You don't eat chicken? Why not?"
"I don't eat things that fly. I don't eat things that swim either."
I did't bother to ask her why not, she already wasn't making any sense. When she said she doesn't eat things that fly, I was thinking that chickens didn't fly, but I wasn't 100% sure, so I left it alone. Sonia and I were discussing this.
Me: She doesn't eat things that fly? What sense does that make?
Son': Chickens don't even fly!!
Me: Thats what I thought!
She needs to come up with some better reasoning for not eating chicken, that one doesn't fly. (lame joke, i know)

Then, this one made me tooooo mad. I was on the bus, and there's this lady who is blind, but she has some of her sight. It's always her and her guide dog, Gypsy. Well, this lady loooves to show off her legs, somebody must have told her that she just has the greatest legs or something, because she is always wearing some short shorts or skirts. Well, this day she had on a denim mini-skirt. Super short. Unreasonably short, especially for the weather, the high was only 50 something, and it was only 30 something that morning. Anyway, I go to my seat, she was already on the bus. Something in my peripheral vision catches my eye because of its brightness. I turn to look --O MY GAWD!--It's her underwear!! "Whaaat in the heezee" is all that's going through my mind. If you're gonna wear a miniskirt that barely covers your bum, you must not cross your legs so that the world can see your bright turquoise panties. No boo-boo, that ain't cute.

Julius: i think it is all about assumptions
chiliz345: yes! so true
Julius: and lady,that is the mother of all f***'d ups

I should've told you you smelled good
I should've never let you go
I should've just kissed you
Too afraid to let feelings show

I should've told you I liked you
But I figured you'd know
I should've reached out and held you
I should've never let you go

Sitting in a puddle of regrets
Wallowing in my own mess
Entertaining all my doubts
Knowing I'm the one who lost out

So this is how it goes:

I'm really liking friendboyJ, I mean, I'm feeling this dude big time. But at the same time, I'm feeling so many inhibitions and doubts about this, but I do tend to overthink things. The doubts are nothing big, just little things that I find, and then I dwell on them. But, friendboy is MAD cool, I'm loving his ways, his walk, his taste, his talk. The more I see him and get to know him, the better, and the more I'm into him.

But I don't want to loose my head over him. I just want to like him, not fall madly in love, because he's leaving at the end of the summer. Do I develop a relationship? If yes, it could be just a fun thing, just a summer romance, and then let him go when the time comes. But, what if I get too attached? If no relationship, then I could be missing out on something good for both of us. How long could the "just friends" thing work?

You would love him, you really would. He is just absolutely great. And for me being a person with so many "standards" its great to actually find someone who meets them, so you know he has to be a catch. Everybody says "go for it", I think my heart is even saying "go for it", but my head is the one with the 'buts' and 'what if's'.

I want this. I know I want this. *sigh*

I did it in 37 seconds.
I deserved a C+!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!

I don't know what it is
I've been making some slips lately. I pray that they are not Freudian slips, cuz if so I have some issues to work out.

chiliz345: i didnt realize he left, he just said brb
Sonia: he didnt' say anythign to me
chiliz345: o, he was getting off
chiliz345: offline that is
chiliz345: that sounded wrong
Sonia: lol
Sonia: yes

And I was talking to one of my friendboys (lets call him friendboyA) and he asked if I had read a poem he wrote. I typed:
Me: no, i'll go to it in a sex
Me: sec!
Me: omg
Him: you just thinkin about me with my SHIRT OFF!

Now, both of these convos were about friendboyA, what's really going on with me? I think he is attractive, yes, but I'm not trying to get with the boy, I got my own stew brewin'.

Speakin of that stew, mad props to Tura for giving me a good tip on an investment in my future. Something that will thicken my stew MUAHAHAHA!!

I'm trying to write a poem, I really want this to work

skin dark and beautiful, like the night sky
voice deep and strong, like the rolling thunder's song

Mad Props. . .
Mad props to the guy who tried to holla at me today. Now, normally I don't respond well to the "ay shawty, lemme holla atcha" type of thing. Actually, I never respond well to it. I always blow the brotha off, give him a crazy look or something, because he doesn't know me, never seen me before or anything, what makes him think that he wants to get with me, or that I want to get with him? Today was a little different though. I was rushing out to the bus and this guy held the door open for me, he was coming in, I was going out. Me, being the polite person I am, smiled warmly and said "Thank you." and he said:
"No problem, how you doin"
"I'm fine."
"Hey, what's your name?"
"Elizabeth"
"oooooooh, Elizabeth (he said it like my name was just so fine, and he was so attracted to it.)
I was walking away, because of course, I didn't want to miss the bus.
"Wait, come here"
"Noooo, I gotta catch this bus, bye!"
It amused me. Now, why do I give him props? Because this guy was trying to holla at me, and I looked like a hot mess. I had on my ever so loved Edinburgh sweatshirt that I've worn on almost every cool day since I got back from Scotland, and jeans, gym shoes. I wasn't looking cute at all, not even a little bit. I don't think I had even taken a shower actually. So, mad props, mad props to the brotha.

Hey, I'm 18 years old okay?

The church traveled yesterday, we went to Springfield. It was nice, the choir sang, the praise dancers danced, the preacher preached etc. The service was ending and the pastor of the church said "I want all the young people, age 18 and under, to come gather around the altar so we can pray over you." Me and Sonia, both being pretty much freshly out of that age bracket, are sitting in our seats like "Hah, 18 and under. . . younguns." The pastor repeats it a couple more times, then all the young people were finally up there, the rest of the congregation sitting down. Then he points directly to Sonia and me, and says, "You two, how old are you?"
Sonia: 19
Me: 18
Him: How old??
Me: 18, 19 [respectively]
Him: Naw, Naw, Naw, ya'll look like you're about 12 years old, come on up here.

Straight Bogishness, how he gon' play us like that? My mother was crackin up, but you know, I didn't see the funny part. No, I didn't. Twelve? My sister is 12. So here we are, me and Sonia, two just-about-grown-folks, standin up here with all these kiddies. Not right I tell ya, not right.

Then after the service, we were all fellowshipping and what not, and thats all I could keep my mind on. People were even coming up to us talking about "It's ok, you'll appreciate that when you're older." This may very well be the case, but you know what? I'm not older! Telling me I look 12 years old is not exactly a compliment. But, it was all good.

I think it's due time for some shout outs.

Tura-Girl, I'm missing you! It's crazy that we never get to hang out, or really even see each other for that matter. How is school going? Do yo thang, keep workin it like you do and u are sure to catch that boy....lol. And what's this Sonia tells me about keys left in your car?

KaReisha- KR, my girl, I'm glad we're staying in touch. I still think it's crazy how we have soooo much in common, I bet you we're related somehow. Maybe I should start calling you Cuz. And I'm so proud of my girl for doin the whole Bradley Idol thing, I wish I coulda been there to see you.

Martina- You know what? You never make me stop thinking, I swear I am always wondering about you. (this is not a bad thing) I hope you get to come up for Break, it would be fun times, but don't blame me when you start getting bored, I warned you! And I don't wanna hear about you not turning in math assignments and not calling anybody for help. (yea, I busted you out in front of everybody, now what??)

Therese--I love that I know you. I loved your comment, that was a good idea about the plates, I think I might just try that. I hope you feel better, and stay in good spirits through all that's going on. You are great.

Sonia- mmm hmm, now let me see if I can get this one straight. Homewrecking, footsie, man stealing flirt. But you can't help it. *tear* I just wish I would've known sooner, then I might still have hope. But no, no, no, it's okay I still love you because that's what friends do. (even though it hurtsssss....) It's not right, but it's okay, I'm gonna make it anyway.

Zi-Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Ziad, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUU!! You have made it a long way. Be good, you have your whole life ahead of you. (see, I saved the best for last)

So I came up with one line of a poem, but I don't have anymore to go with it. I like the line, but what could it be about?

Just as quick as a sip from a water fountain