If you had a baby with him, would you keep it?

*sigh* it has come again to that time that every sexually active female has experienced at one time or another.

What if I'm pregnant?!?

Not that I think that I am, but there is always that irrational fear, especially when that fear has a possibility of being true. Stuff that wouldn't normally worry you so much gets you MAD thinking. "hmm, I have been really tired lately. Why am I so hungry? Ugh, I feel nauseated. Could I be. . .???"

Fellas, TRUST it is an awful feelng and if you and your girl are knockin' da boots, I can assure you that she's thought about it. She has also played out in her head if she would keep the child and how the situation would affect her life. Will the guy take responsibility? Am I going to be a single parent? What about my career/schooling? What are my family/friends going to think? Would my baby be cute? (lol ok that one is minor).

I was asked if I would keep the child in the COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL situation that Friendboy and I had one, and of course I would. I mean, I would keep it anyway, but I do think that Friendboy is a decent candidate for fatherhood. However, the thought saddens me. I don't want to be connected to him for the rest of my life for that reason.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. Just today I was talking to his sister and she told me he was taking her out for her birthday tomorrow. How sweet is that? It got me thinking how much I would love to have a big brother to do the same for me. I've always wanted a big brother, and I think one of the main reasons why has to do with the whole absentee father issue *shakes fist at father* BLAST!!

One of my main relationship concerns is whether or not I am looking for a person to kind of replace that fatherly role, and I would have to say that part of me is. I want that person who will take care of me, love me, comfort me, and provide for me even though I don't need him to. The person who can see through my tough skin to my heart. As LL Cool J said, "I need LOVE". Now, let's clarify before we get too far. I am not looking for love, neither do I plan/desire to find it ANYTIME soon, but one day yes. I do want a man who desires to take care of me and showers me with attention and in turn I will do the same for him. I would have no problem at all "catering to" a man who took care of my needs.

But, uuuum. . .He's not that man. While he has many good carachteristics (sp?), I don't think he can handle my very special needs. Especially not now. To be honest, he can't handle the simple needs now, like giving me attention (and I don't ask for much. just give a sista a call ery now and then) so I know the complex ones would be WAY out of the question in the event that something happened to bring us closer together. As a matter of fact, the thought of it is making me sad right now.

So, the smart and rational thing to do would be to leave him alone so that nothing of the sort ever happens *nod*. As a matter of fact, I have vowed not to call him again until he gets his keep-in-touch act together (I mean, can I at least get a message on my Facebook wall?). Okay, kinda broke that rule last night when the roomie was gonna be gone and I wanted some company, but I get to break the rule once.

But anyway, yea I'd keep it. But hopefully we won't have to worry about anything of the sort.