Super Chiliz!!!
(A reflection)

There she is, Super Chiliz here to save the day! She comes flying in upon the whisper of request, equipped and ready to fulfill.

*sigh* I wish I could save the world. Really, I do. I consider it to be a problem, one that I've had ever since I can remember. When I was younger, I prayed as earnestly and sincerely as my little heart could manage for world peace and for everyone to get along. I could not fathom why my Lord, so gentle, peaceful, and kind would allow such a cruel world to exist. I watched the news with my mother and images of war, violence, depravation, and national strife flashed before my little eyes, and I knew that there must be a reason. Perhaps because noone thought to pray for peace? So I made it my mission. I would singlehandedly (with God's help of course lol) make this world a more liveable place because I would pray for peace. What Genius!!!

Years later, I still find myself wanting to save the world. I feel like I have been blessed/cursed with an overwhelming sense of compassion (but shhhh, don't tell. I don't think anybody knows). But I have this compassion, this desire to make changes in the world, and even just in individuals' lives, but no means to do so. I am a 20 year old college student living in a world that lacks the compassion that I know so well. I cannot make a difference alone! In case you cannot fathom, this is a VERY frustrating and saddening state. To know that people are hurting, hungry, suffering, impoverished, ignorant, malnutritioned, etc. and not be able to do anything about it? And to see nothing being done about it? To know that the concerns of the majority of the world's population are unheard, unknown, and not considered to be important by essentially the rest of the whole WORLD??

It kills me.

I think this is one of the major reasons why I have decided to pursue Sociology as my major, because it is usually social factors that contribute to these problems, and if the social factors can be changed, people's lives can be changed for the better (note-do not confuse with social work).

But that's beside the point. The point is that I still wanna save the world, and since I realize that I can't do it on a global or even national basis, I attempt to do it on a much smaller, interpersonal scale. If someone has a need, I make sure I do what I can within my limits to make it happen. Whether it be to listen, give advice, give money whatever. I'm not a people pleaser, but I do it for me. It's so personally fulfilling and gratifying to be able to help someone, to fulfill a need, but I can't do it all.

I want to, but I can't.

I try to, but I just can't.

There always comes a point in each semester (yes, we college students measure time in semesters) that I lose balance and become overwhelmed. That time has come for me. I have lost balance on emotional and physical plains. I have lost balance between my schooling and work. I have lost relational balances. In my attempt to restore balance, save my world, and save the world in other realms, I am going to lose my head. I am not Atlas, and I do not have the ability to carry the world on my shoulders. I know well the relief of taking my burdens to the Lord, its just that I consistently feel the need to figure everything out, and this disharmony makes everything cloudy.

I'm digressing no?

Back to saving the world. I can't do it. I simply can't do everything that I want to, which upsets me because all that I want to do is something positive, inspiring, and necessary for the smooth operation of society, whichever facet of society that may be, because virtually everything is a part of society. (was that a run-on sentence?)

Anyway, I was going to bring this around full-circle to make my point, but I have forgotten what I wanted to say.