craving,
needing
something different something more
a ray of light in this overcast sky
would do wonders for my soul


It was so hard to get out of bed today. As a matter of fact, I think I might just go back when I get done online. Last night while I was sleeping, so cozy under my blanket, i heard a huge BOOM. It was SO LOUD! Both me and my roomate woke right up and looked at each other like "whaaaattt???". I looked at the clock- 3:30 a.m. Come to find out it was thunder, lightning, and rain outside. Good gosh that was some loud thunder. I opened the curtains so that I could look outside (I actually can get several inches of a view of the outside world from my window) and watch the storm. It was really pretty, especially over the lights of the buildings on campus. But I was too tired, and fell asleep thinking about how strange it was for it to be raining, yet there was no rain hitting my window, and neither could I hear the rain because of hte position of my room.

I had to get up early this morning to take my timesheets in to work before 8:30. The sky was so overcast and dark. It looked like the clouds were gonna break any minute and the rain would pour out, like from a bucket. Then I saw a rainbow. It was beautiful. I took my eyes off of it for a minute, and then it was gone, but that's okay.

I went back home, ate some cereal, and climbed right back into the bed. I was looking outside (one of my favorite things to do while in bed) and watching all the students milling about, and watching the trees sway in the breeze, it was all quite serene. I think I would like to go to a school next to water. . . Is SanDiego near water?

Oh, and I was gonna tell you about this guy. I think I like him, but this is different. I wouldn't call it a crush, and it certainly isn't lust. I just. . .like him. He's a cool guy to talk to. We like similar music, and have a few interests in common. The fact that I know nothing about cars and sports doesn't seem to bother him too much either lol. And even though he is into cars and sports, he's not one of "those guys". He seems to be quite well rounded, and I know he comes from a good family.

He's also intelligent. Nothing like an intelligent brotha who can speak his mind with clarity. He has a wonderful sense of humor, but is not a person who is always just trying to get a laugh. I like his physique too. It's nothing amazing, but he has these beautiful broad shoulders *swoon* that I would just love to massage (sorry, I can't help it). I was sitting behind him one day and just had the urge to touch him. His shoulders, his back, rub his head, play with his ears, caress his face. (If I ever get to do this, I plan on making it quite a sensational experience) Now don't get me wrong, it's not in a sexual way. As a matter of fact, I definately don't want anything to do with him from the waist down. I've not really thought extensively about kissing him, except to know what it might feel like (but of course now I'm gonna have to think about it).

I don't want it to be a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, certainly not. I'm not really attracted to him like that. I would like it to be more of a friendship with benefits. The benefit not being sexual, but just an intimacy on a mental, spiritual, and slightly physical level that exceeds the boundaries of mere friendship, but does not transgress those of a relationship.

Anyway, I said all that to say that I like him.